
So there I am walking out of the Dominion Rd Countdown at around 1pm today.
I’m feeling pretty pleased that I’ve managed to get all my shopping done for the week, got all my salad bits and pieces and bought some Halloween candy for any Trick or Treaters who might pop along on Halloween and I’m listening to Radio Song by REM on my headphones plugged into my phone.
I’m thinking about the other things I have to do on my to do list today and am pleasantly pleased by how many things I’ve crossed off.
In front of me exiting the Countdown are two young Muslim woman, one with a headscarf on. They must be in their late teens or early 20s I’d guess. They are excitedly discussing something between the two of them as they walk out the automatic doors.
Walking towards them is a Pakeha woman in her 60s. She is about 5’7, well dressed, plump and has that white hair style going on that rich older middle class people can afford rather than going a dreary grey.
The Pakeha woman crosses the pathway of the two young Muslim women as she is walking towards one of those little green trundler trolly’s that you pull along behind you and then suddenly the Pakeha woman does something that makes me stop dead in my tracks and has my mouth just drop open in total shock.
The Pakeha woman, instead of waiting for the two young Muslim women to pass her, viciously swings her elbow directly into the face of the young Muslim woman wearing the headscarf. The young woman reacts in shock and either flinched incredibly quickly our got caught hard on the side of the head and the Pakeha woman forces her way passed the two now shocked young women to grab her green trundler trolly and is muttering to herself angrily as if her maliciously and quite intentionally elbowing a much younger smaller woman in the face was actually the young woman’s fault and not hers!
The young Muslim woman stood astounded and watched the Pakeha woman walk off to do her shopping, her friend was pulling her away and they were both shaken and upset by such a mean and spiteful thing.
And what did I do?
To my deepest shame, I did fucking nothing.
I was so shocked that someone who looked the spitting image of middle class respectability would effectively assault a much smaller woman right in front of me in broad daylight, that I froze.
I’ve been involved in more physical fights than I care to name in my life (always as the bloke who rushes into break shit up) and I’ve taken my share of punches but here was I, a much, much larger person than any of those involved, rooted to the spot unable to even raise my bloody voice so in shock was I at what occurred.
I just want to say to the young Muslim woman and her friend that I am so bitterly ashamed they had to be confronted by malicious actions like that in New Zealand and how embarrassed I am that I wasn’t able to lift a finger to support or aid you.
I will never allow my shock to stand in the way of action again.
If they wish to lay a complaint with the Police, I am more than happy to help.
UPDATE: Can I first please thank all of the people who have commented on this story in social media and here on the site who have all reminded me that there would have been CCTV cameras operating. On one level I knew that, but in the heat of the moment that fact had completely escaped me.
Thank you all for reminding dumbfuck me.
I’ve contacted the Countdown Store and given them the time frame as to when this occurred, they are reviewing the camera footage and will get back to me when they find it.
I also want to acknowledge the very genuine criticism of my own inaction. In the exact moment, I could not for the life of me explain why I froze. To see such wilful malicious physical intimidation right there in front of my own two eyes in an environment I had considered utterly benign was just a total shock to me. At the time I wondered if I was hallucinating, that was how surreal it seemed.
To be honest with you, it has really challenged my understanding of what privilege means. I always thought I knew what it meant, but this incident has popped that intellectual pretension. I think I was so shocked because I simply expected the environment to be benign, because anyone who attempted to swing their elbow into my face would get a roaring bear response and a bloody great big punch up, but when it happened to someone else, it was my expectations that the place I was in was completely safe that scrambled my decision making functions.
It was as if the power went off in my brain in total confusion as to what I was seeing and all decision making functions went off line.
The wounded look on the young Muslim woman’s face clearly had the resentment of expectation, that this was an event that was totally familiar to her, that this kind of invisible civil war was well known to her and that for her, being in public had none of the safety it held for me.
That’s when I realised that walking around in public with no fear of attack was actually a privilege that I enjoy and one that young Muslim woman clearly did not.
It’s embarrassing that it took that event for me to open my eyes to what privilege really means.