National Party Election Autopsy so bad, it has had to be censored


Judith Collins says National Party review is ‘confronting’ but ‘ultimately fair’, promises to implement changes

Judith Collins says the review into the National Party’s disastrous election campaign is “confronting” but “ultimately fair”.

The National leader said the report won’t be publicly released, but it will be dealt with “internally” because it is a party issue.

“We are not going to be releasing it to everybody,” she told The AM Show on Wednesday.

On Wednesday, Newshub revealed the party created two different versions of the review – the full report, and a sanitised version with all the “gory details taken out”.

Between 2017 and 2020, the National Party of NZ suffered the largest electoral percentage of vote in over 100 years, what’s fascinating about the National Party Autopsy is that NO ONE has pointed out that this result marks the death spiral of the Party and that the Boomer dominance over political influence is now finally ended!

The National Party campaign was a train-wreck dumpster fire that collided with a school bus that exploded next to a pet store.

Pre Covid, Simon Bridges had built National a chance, but then a low poll spooked backbencher MPs into carrying out a coup with an MP who had all the false confidence of a tall man.

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The Muller reign was a mix of cowardice and a woefully inflated sense of talent. Then the former President, Michelle Boag, passes privileged Covid patient information to a dickhead MP which implodes Muller’s leadership and in desperation the party turns to Judith, a dirty politics drenched politician with all the empathy and compassion of a hungry wolverine in a premature infants ward.

We all watched in horror as she blew Iain Lees-Galloway’s brains all over the set of the AM Show just to deflect attention from another errant MP who had been sending dick pics.

Then there was Gerry Brownlee with conspiracy theories, Paul Goldsmith couldn’t add and then National Party board member Roger Bridge rang ZB pretending to be ‘Merv’ to attack a National Party candidate who wasn’t white enough for his liking.

Judith ended up attacking fat people for fucks sakes!

On top of this was a policy platform that was all about amputating the State with the usual small government bullshit at a time when people were fleeing to the State for protection.

Privatise the border? How insane is that?

This was National’s border position…

…Simon Bridges fell foul of the sudden solidarity created by Covid and National were caught flat footed by a crisis that only became worse by more free market deregulation.

No one wanted to hear about the State being cut back when everyone was running to the State for safety.

It highlighted the utter vacancy of National Party ideology, all they kept coming up with was privatisation!

This campaign result was triggered by coward MPs who turned on their leader in a frenzied selfishness to protect their own jobs. Stripped of their fake ideology the electorate has seen the National Party for what they really are, self serving arseholes whose sense of teamwork is as temporary as Trump’s sense of decency.

The hollowness of National’s ideology created an enormous friction on the Right and once the woke gave Seymour the freedom of speech war and ACT hit 2MPs, they became the fault line for this backlash against National.

ACT became the Values Party of the Right the way the Greens are the Values Party of the Left.

The collapse of National is the end of a political dynasty and shows we as a country have finally hit the upper limit of boomer influence and farming political power. From here on in, National will decline as a political force while ACT radicalises more of the right and grows.

We are seeing the seeds sown of a far more polarised political future in NZ.


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  1. One of the saddest aspects of all this is that NZ right now has what is probably the best National govt that traditional National voters have ever had. Why would those National voters look anywhere else.

    What we tragically do not have is a true left-wing govt, meaning, a govt who cares about people and the environment with such passion that they take action on this, a govt who would NEVER turn away the reps of more than 50 groups representing those impacted by poverty, – but who would meet with them, hear them, talk with them, take action as needed. – One such action being, to raise benefits to survivable basic income level, as was asked by those 50+ groups and organisations.

    And a govt who would not continually delay and defer taking action on the hundreds of thousands of tons of toxic waste stored close to the beach (from Tiwai Pt), even if we had not been under tsunami alert less than a week ago.

    …A govt who would help people before corporations. Things have to be bad when it takes Judith bloody Collins (apologies) to say that payments should have been made to individuals rather than to companies and corporations.

  2. An amusing saga of greed and incompetence that goes back an awful long way -to Bolger, and even Muldoon.

    Fortunately for the sociopaths of the looters-and-polluters club, National Party policies live on via fake Labour; money-printing and handouts of government money to failing businesses and speculators.

    Never mind, we are going to becoming Carbon Neutral by 2050. Yes, really. We are. The whole caboodle of corruption and lies is on its way down the gurgler. And with no access to fossil fuels we will be Carbon Neutral before 2050.

    There will undoubtedly be an awful lot of suffering on the way.

    But, hey, that’s what government are for isn’t it? To make the people suffer.

  3. Commonly elections are lost rather than won. The issues above are remediated with competence or at worst (and most likely) shielded or hidden with a strong central management. Yes demographics are changing however at some juncture younger generations grow up want houses, good paying jobs, functioning schools for their kids etc therefore the effect is unlikely to be as pronounced as predicted particularly if the government acts the same, just with a different face.

    Despite the best efforts of fear porn in the Media the world is beginning to move on from Covid. Whether or not the vaccine is a sliver bullet or not this will be the last hurrah for the lockdown fetishists as the unwashed masses of the west will not accept further freedom curtailments once there is widespread vaccine supply and rollout. This is the last effective bullet of the establishment.

    Therein lies the issue for the Blairite, Grunter and the rest of the gang. In the next 18 months (unless something further significant happens) THEY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING such as build houses, infrastructure, tackle organized crime, seriously tackle inequality etc. ‘Scotty from Marketing’ deftly threw the Blairite under the bus last night, then reversed over her and then drove over her again for further effect. Ducking away from fights from non sycophantic media players just provides them with further ammunition. Look at the stories starting to come up – travel non bubble; fruit going to rot in the Hawkes Bay, poor vaccination rollout, lack of infrastructure ‘shovel ready’ projects commencing. Compare that the Australia where now the government is looking to part pay for your holiday.

    The irony of politics is largely it’s a game of looking less shit than the other side. If covid becomes irrelevant in the next 18 months there’s not a lot of ‘good news’ stories or indeed achievements around this government.

    • Dirty Politics is internal with the National party. Ftankie, you obfuscate, divert, so back to the subject matter, Nationals review. They only have to remain the same to lose the next election Frankie. Corivida Collins, Two Indians and one Chinese Simon, Bovine Brownlee, Smithers and Homeless Woodhouse remain, so things remain the same. Judging by the non report National are shit and the ballerina leader of the ACT party will continue to be the major opposition in years to come.

      • I am happy to say there was plenty wrong with National at the time of the election and they did not deserve the government benches but surely you cannot be happy with the curent do nothing Labour government. Kheala sumed it up well with saying many of the current policies would not look out of place if an old style National were in power with no help for benefituries and others at the bottom of the heap . They do not seem to have the ability to read the room and see people are getting angry at the way fruit growers are denied workers boat builders are denied work on yachts poor wages for MIQ workers very day anyother sign of being out of touch. Those that are suportures of this government need to be honest and critical .

        • Any Government will do things wrong but you both miss the point by a long way. This is NOT about Labour. There are plenty of stories written attacking Labours flaws Trevor. Read the headline and do not try and twist this to make it about Labour. That is why I have responded the way I have. It appears both you and Frankie need to get with the story. You at least attempted to with…

          “there was plenty wrong with National at the time of the election and they did not deserve the government benches”

          There was more than plenty wrong. There were many morally bankrupt and the review no doubt found this, however many people whom can read the room and the person have known for many years that when you have the likes of Boag, Slater connected with the party, then you have serious issues. Bridges is tarnished as is Collins. Throw in Nick Smith with the Pullar affair, Chris Bishop, Gerry Brownlee with his airport arrogance, Jamie Lee Ross and Woodhouse’ made up bullshit, is it really hardly surprising National needed a review at all? Sadly Collins, Smith, Brownlee,Bridges, Woodhouse and Bishop are all entrenched within the party still so a review is worthless.

          • Things change Bertie and your mob has a long tail. The problem is post covid, outside of the woke fringes and some tokenism to the Maori cargo cult this government is devoid of policy and has ‘feet for hands’ in regards to all facets of implementation.

            Once the vaccine rolls out (in say mid 2022) the covid excuses will be gone and there will need to be a plan in place remembering school children can’t vote. If this scenario plays out National just has to be a little less shit than Labour to win the middle.

            • How is any of that relevant to Nationals review. Fuck Frankie, even after I put it in black and white. The story is on Nationals review. Now you either have difficulty reading or the lift doesn’t go to the top floor Frankie. You some up why everything is wrong with National. They are arrogantly dismissive.

                • Because Bertie in the words of the Rock “It doesn’t matter”. This is not a corporate struggling with profitability against a lean, aggressive competitor. This is an establishment political party whose main aim is to look less shithouse than their opposition establishment political party.

                  In summary:

                  Yes they were and ARE STILL shithouse and YES glaringly obviously talent, policy and delivery deficiencies haven’t been addressed BUT they are in a 2-horse race with a competitor that is increasingly looking shithouse with sole reliance on a cult figure and a lockdown pandemic strategy.

                  It’s all relative.

          • Yes, Frank sounds as if he is doing a “Look over there!” distraction, which doesn’t work when the stench of that lot’s decay makes us nauseous.

            However he is right about one thing. He wrote, “THEY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING”, and he is right, and he has given some examples, eg, “seriously tackle inequality”. I unreservedly agree.

            But it is not ‘so that they can get re-elected’, it is because they are entrusted with the care and governance of this country and the people, and such action is desperately needed and long overdue.

  4. At this point National are turning themselves into a meme. If it wasn’t for them, id be severely depressed about the political situation in NZ right now, but they just keep giving me laughs.

  5. Oh yes Frank the employment contracts bill was all about better paying jobs.Yeah,nah.Gut the unions and have pipsqueak individuals haggling with corporations for better pay

  6. You are delusional if you believe National wont be in power again. Yes we overwhelmingly re-elected a left sing government, but when that government acts like a right wing government, what’s the bloody point! Ardern is not a PM of change, she’s John Key with long hair.

  7. Writing personally; Nothing about the national party interests me and the reason for that is that the crooks are apparently going to get clean away with it so there’ no more of a need for me to raise a ruckus.
    Two dodgy groups of lazy crooks hatched a plan to merger their respective talents together to plonk their flat feet and greedy maws into our farmer’s export derived income stream back in the 1920’s which gave rise to the cadre of useless fucks we’ve come to know of as The National Party.
    After generations of sequestering those funds into their own and their mates pocketsess they’re fat, old and replete while the country they committed treasonous acts against is in a cluster fuck free fall of societal damage of addictions, homelessness, suicides, depressions, chemically toxic farming practices and the shameless parasitising of our working class Labour party with a scum bag like roger douglas who sold us our very own form of thatcherism known as ‘neoliberalism’ just to get their puffy, pudgy, pink little fingers on our taxes paid for assets.
    Now that they’re gone and sold our priceless public stuff and things to foreign owners there’s no assets left and in so doing they’ve trust-funded OUR money to where we’ll never see it again.
    The Natzo’s will now simply fall into disarray ( Because there’s now no need for their existence.) while sucking on your tax money by paying themselves massive salaries until the last lazy natzo drops dead in our parliament buildings.
    Farmers? You’ve been suckered. And I pray to all the gods that you will never fully understand how it happened when you had your head down and your arse working seven days a week from day light until dusk because to ‘know’ is to have to live with your conscience.

  8. ‘One of the saddest aspects of all this is that NZ right now has what is probably the best National govt that traditional National voters have ever had. Why would those National voters look anywhere else.’
    So sad to have to completely agree with you Kheala.
    You must be careful what you wish for.
    Years ago I wished for the end of Rob Muldoon’s National Government and my father( old and near death) said ‘there are worse things than Rob’s Mob. I am old enough to have seen them before.”
    Rob went, Labour won and those of us who voted Labour saw our dreams become nightmares that refuse to stop.
    Maybe one day the reverse will happen. Disillusioned voters will return a new National Party that suddenly embraces socialist ideology.
    No chance of it happening soon.

    • The present govt can still turn this around. But they have to start taking strong, decisive action now. If they procrastinate, if they put it off for another year then it will become much more of an uphill climb.

        • All I have is my opinion, and I’m still trying to get clear on what’s going on. My op. is that it is not a question of talent/ ability, nor of a generalised desire to “make things better”, but they seem to lack a sense of urgency. They act as if they have an infinite amount of time, and they don’t.

  9. No Kheala I have to diagree with you ,we will have 2 more election wins under Jacinda and Robbo.300 ,000 imigrants let in by Key,buggerred the housing market,they built a piddling amount of houses.Unlike Labour now they let those immigrants in willfully,Saint Jacinda has has 93000 foisted on her thru Covid.See the difference .

    • Strongly agree with you Mark – My point is that Key was NOT “traditional” Nat – He went way, way, way to the “right” of that, and the consequences are with us now in the extremes of inequality and insufficient housing for Kiwis (plenty for “investors”). And many long time trad. Nats were aware of this and were unhappy about it. The present “Labour” govt is more the way they would like things to be.

      But we still do not have a true LEFT-wing govt – One that does NOT freeze out beneficiaries and ignore the plight of the poorest, and one that would take strong action immediately on the environment.

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