Dear Mike Hosking – 5 reasons we owe the Pacific


Our favourite right wing opinion factory, Mike Hosking, has penned a pretty ignorant piece on why NZ gives the Pacific any money and what if anything we get in return. He’s referencing the new Government’s tour of the Pacific and is selling it as some sort of lolly scramble for brown people. Mike wants to know why we should help Samoa, Tonga, Cooks, Niue and the Tokelau islands.

Here are my top 5 counter reckons to the magnificence that is Mike, but I must warn you that while I start pretty nicely, I end being extremely offensively because it’s difficult to list these reasons and not become incandescent with rage at what Hosking is saying.

1: I think Mike that the Pacific is whanau to us, and with Auckland the largest Pacific Island city on the planet we have a unique kinship that must be celebrated and cherished, that’s why we should provide aid and support to them, because they are whanau to us.

2: Because the Pacific are whanau to us, it’s important not to be dicks to them Mike, like the way you are being right now. 

3: NZ has done sweet fuck all to mitigate climate change in anyway meaningful (beyond our bullshit carbon free by 2030 crap), so when the worst edges of that pollution we have been pumping into the atmosphere damages cultures that have little hand in creating it, we have an obligation to do right by them because that’s a basic compassion and empathy most humans have. We contribute to climate change, climate change damages Islands in the Pacific, we help those island mitigate some of that damage with tiny payouts which don’t go anywhere near matching the enormity of what the developed world are plunging the developing world into. Why is that concept so difficult for you to understand Mike?

4: The fourth reason we want to keep them onside you stupid muppet Mike, is because the bloody Chinese have moved into our neck of the woods and are bribing every Pacific Island they can, and that we need to counter that influence with some clever tactics like Rugby Diplomacy and promotion of Journalism. That you seem to have made these comments about Pacific Aid with no comprehension whatsoever of the geopolitics that are being played out in the US-China Pacific Cold War is truly astounding for someone who is on the largest radio Breakfast show in the country. It’s like reviewing a movie by complaining how much the pop corn costs.What kind of moron are you? 

5: And the 5th reason as to why we need to keep shelling money out to the Pacific Mike, the most important of the reasons? Because we, as New Zealanders are fucking arseholes Mike. We. Are. Fucking. Arseholes. 

Let’s start with NZ incompetence in Samoa that saw the influenza pandemic come ashore and almost wipe out the entire Island or Black Sunday that saw NZ forces kill 11 Samoans. What about the way we brought Tongans into the country in the 1970s as cheap labour but when it was politically expedient start dawn raids to force them out? How about the fact that the Cooks, Niue and the Tokelau islands are actually still under control of NZ, which means we are responsible for them Mike? Are you even aware that they are free association states officially placed under NZ sovereignty? 

I think Mike has no fucking clue about what he’s talking about and as such all we get are some cheap and glib options that are nothing more than garden variety bigotry.

NZ owes the Pacific and we never acknowledge that.

TDB Recommends


    • I thought Hosking’s demise at TVNZ was a plus. Now he has the time to rant daily on the Herald site.

      Roll on paywall, then he be speaking in a sealed chamber.

  1. Point 4 and the last paragraph nailed it home.


    And our sphere of influence is directly concerned with the Pacific.

    And yet because of the neo liberal far right wing , the Pacific Islanders are being marginalized and pushed out – particularly by Chinese money and speculation and their ingratiation with the far right wing in this country.

    Which suits the Chinese leadership who are only seeking influence in the Pacific in their efforts to curb the American ‘ringing’ of their nation , not for the overall benefit of the inhabitants of the Pacific , but for their national security purposes only.

    The Pacific Islanders more often than not bear the brunt of being pushed to the back of the queue because of the effects of that speculation and policy of ‘passive influence’ here in NZ , – and in their homelands, – are torn between two giants .

    That they are bearing the brunt in this country is evidenced by things like the housing crisis , – that we still have. So also are the less than subsistence wages on offer that many are forced to work for . And while many individuals are forging ahead , – many more family’s are critically struggling.

    We owe our allegiance to the PACIFIC peoples long before we do to Asia.

    And in particular , China.

    • The Chinese aren’t all bad. At least we haven’t joined up to Chinese 5 eyes, thus subjegating our own soverignty or have a Chinese spy satellite here similar to the US one in Waihaupai. While the Chinese presence in the Pacific is partly for national security purposes, it does also provide some positives for the island nations. Personally I’d rather the Chinese than the US any day. But yeah New Zealand owes the Pacific nations big time.

      • We don’t want our country or our politicians to listen to either China or the US- they are both as bad as one another. Waihopai needs to go but of course Labour would never let that happen.

  2. Hasn’t even been proof-read properly:
    “Is the Pacific actually getting an better for this – or has it just become permanently reliant?”
    Typical Mike Hosking, his amazing insight and nuggets of wisdom is why they pay him the big bucks while everyone else just quietly gags.

  3. Don’t recall Sad Mike speaking out against the last government handing out $12m in charity to one dude in Saudi Arabia. It’s not like the guy was hungry.

    • How much did John Key give to crooked Hilary’s foundation? Hope on the money supposed to be used for rebuilding Haiti was used on her daughter’s wedding AND not our tax payer money. ha.

  4. Hosking is just striving diligently to fester hostility and resentment against the coalition government which ousted his dodgy Nat mates and from which Hosking may never recover – but he is still a damaging social scourge – and a plain pain in the neck.

  5. He overlooked the contribution made by Tonga to the Christchurch Earthquake Fund. $600 000 from a population the size of Dunedin.

  6. “I think Mike has no fucking clue about what he’s talking about and as such all we get are some cheap and glib options that are nothing more than garden variety bigotry.”

    Agree. His comment on the Maori electoral role and how you can and cannot vote sealed it for me.
    However, a work colleague of mine saw Mike at the Auckland airport one day and told me Mike has a serious case of short man syndrome, so clearly he has had no clue all his life Martyn. All he need do is open his mouth for you to know he’s wrong in anything he says and now his wife is spewing her right wing vile via the N.Z. Herald. Appears they have shares in the N.Z.Herald. For those that think the N.Z Herald is not right wing, well you probably voted National.

  7. Polynesia is a Pacific Island community, of which NZ is part of. Auckland being the most populated Polynesian city in the world.

    As such yes, we should be supporting our close Pacific Island neighbourhood the best way possible.

    Hosking should be ashamed of himself for his bigoted comments! He has well and truly demonstrated his ignorance with this one. Perhaps a few geography lessons might be in order for him. Might make him realise exactly whereabouts in the world he is located!

  8. Let’s face it, the best of our All Black teams have been and still are comprised mainly of PI Polynesians and Maori.

    And don’t we cheer when the ABs win? Including Hosking no doubt, obviously without a thought in the world as to the composition of the team!

  9. Is it fair to pick on Hosking saying he has no fucking clue about what he’s talking about with the Pacific?

    I mean it’s no big deal, he seldom has a fucking clue about anything.

  10. On the plus side, “bribing” countries with aid is far, far better than the geo-politics being played out in eastern Ukraine, Yemen, and Syria. Far better to “bomb” them with dollars/yuan than barrel bombs, Russian missiles, or American cluster bombs…

    Imagine if geo-politics was played out with how much food, medicine, shelter, and clothing competing powers could provide those in need – rather than raining death from the sky.

    I think I know which I would prefer.


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