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  2. One day Joyce passed by J Kelsey’s farm and saw a beautiful horse. Hoping to buy the animal for his stable, he said to her:
    “I think your horse looks pretty good, so I’ll give you $500 for him”
    “He doesn’t look so good and not good enough to buy” she said.
    Joyce insisted, “He looks just fine to me and I’ll up the price to $1,000!”
    “He doesn’t look so good,” Kelsey repeated, “but if you stupidly want him that bad, take him at your own risk!”
    A few days later Joyce returned raging mad. He went up to Kelsey and screamed, “You sold me a dud! A blooming blind horse! You cheated me!”
    Kelsey calmly replied, “I told you he didn’t look so good, didn’t I?”

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  6. Stephen Joyce passes Brokeback Mountain audition with flying colours and has worked out riding a horse is cheaper than catching a taxis and admits he has not worked out how to use UBER yet

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  7. Stephen Joyce passes Brokeback Mountain audition with flying colours and realises its cheaper to ride a horse than it is to hire a taxis admits he has not quite worked out how to use UBER yet

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  9. JOYCE – AS PAST MINISTER OF TRANSPORT –

    HERE AS SHOWING HOW WE CAN MOVE AROUND WHEN ALL RAIL IS CLOSED DOWN, AND MORE ROADS ARE TO EXPENSIVE TO BUILD FOR PRIVATE VEHICLES.

    THE EXSISTING ROADS ARE CRAMED WITH HIS TRUCKS RULING THE ROAD SPACE, – SO MOUNT A HORSE AND GO BACK TO OUR PIONEER DAYS SEE!

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  10. The hunt is on! Steven Joyce proposes a new version of fox-hunting with naysayers like Hager and Minto as the quarry. Key said to be ‘excited’, Collins reported ‘drooling’…

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  11. Steven Joyce publicises the Horseburger as an economic salvation. McDonald’s said to be ‘interested’…

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  16. ‘Turn the pony around Steve, turn it around!’

    ‘Why, John?’

    ‘So I can joyously tug at it’s tantalising tail, you dumbo!’

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  20. ‘Joycey, been gallivanting much?’

    ‘Nah, just horsing around’

    ‘You seem a little lighter Stevie! Been on a diet?’

    ‘No, Pinnokeyo, just stapled stomach’

    ‘Oh, Ok…Horsey, horsey, giddy up, giddy up!’

    ‘Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!’

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  31. “Now, see here chaps, given that there are no foxes in New Zealand, we’re going to hunt beneficiaries instead. Tally ho!”

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  33. joyce:..’behave horse..or i’ll privatise you into tins of dog-food’..

    ..horse:..’shut up you fuck..!..i’m just looking for a suitable tree-branch to leave you dangling from’..

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