Political Caption Competition
A bald man wearing a hairnet pretending to work sums up Nationals Tax Policy perfectly
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Same voices. Same outrage. Same targets. Why does every Taxpayers’ Union campaign seem to land on Māori?
Sandra Grey is making NZCTU relevant again
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We built Fonterra to protect New Zealand. Now it’s selling off the future and telling us to be grateful for the payout.
Is our justice system too underfunded to fix?
If justice depends on what you can afford, it isn’t justice. And New Zealand is getting dangerously close to that line.
The AMOC is collapsing, why that should concern you
We keep pretending each disaster is a one-off. It’s not. And if the AMOC collapses, “unprepared” won’t even begin to cover it.
Next: Feeding a family of four for a week with no electricity and half of a supermarket cabbage.
Next I’ll do Dipton’s Double Dippers’s disgusting pizzas with the crap on top, and fritters from the neighbours’ throw outs.
Problem solver, that’s what I am! We need technology to make these cakes soak up CO2. They’ll taste nice and fizzy and solve climate change! So there – James Shaw doesn’t know diddly squat. Great for the economy and the climate! We’ll be a world-leader! The market is always the solution. Can I get a patent for my idea?
“I think continually of those who were truly great”
Love that poem! My favourite! Stephen Spender – I call him “Big Spender”. Clearly an ambitious guy who votes National! Is he a tech billionaire who needs a house in Queenstown (or Mt Albert maybe) ? Hope he does, it’ll be great for the economy, and he might write another poem about me working here.
These deserts are back on track and rock solid! I’m ambitious for deserts! It’s about solutions and delivery – delivering desert delivery solutions in a great Kiwi way! So excited for it!
Wow! So much red tape! Have to wash my hands after taking a dump! It’s holding back great Kiwi businesses!
Looking forward to heaps more immigration! Doesn’t bother me, I am competitive and delivery-focused, on the move, a valued employee and getting ahead! If my wages drop it’ll only be because I deserve it!
Luxon demonstrates easy car boot cooking.
Nicola, Nicola can you hear me – my earpiece is clogged with cream. I can see some gloopy edible things we could sell to foreign buyers! That’s another $1Bn in tax cuts – do the numbers add up? Nicola? Nicola?
I get things done. They were putting too many cubes of yellow stuff on top. Whoa! WTF – wasteful spending. I delivered a solution-focused solution right here on Planet Earth!
How to prevent unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases
Christopher makes his play lunch every morning.
Should’ve donned his headgear before Key’s creepy clammy hands pulled at him.
With a cap such as this, who would guess that there’s nothing underneath it ?
Chris wears a shower cap to stop his lonely little brain cell from escaping.
Maggot Cubes Cooked by the Hairless Wonder of the Nats.
OMG. As a fairly normal cisgender (is that ok?) woman, this has to be the most repulsive splodge of a political bloke that I’ve ever seen pictured. OMG.
So stoked that National will remove the median wage requirement for visas – I’ll get to do this awesome job for less money!
Like Nicola I’m “good with numbers and economics” – so they’ve got me counting those yellow cubes of whatever. So fulfilling! How great is Planet Earth?
Ambitious for this brilliant job with a great Kiwi employer – at last I’m paid what I’m really worth
If I want 7 houses I can do this job for 4,236 years – what a great country this is!
Super-excited and ambitious and getting my Mojo back here on planet earth. Awesome!
Yeeha – finally my pay reflects my talent!
Luxon picks Lox?
Doesn’t he realise his rubber hat can unroll all the way down.
Ahh, rubber hat, does that make him a dick head.
It’s a little known fast that Uncle Fester played Compo in the first season of Last of the Summer Wine.
John Key wannabe fears he will have his ponytail pulled.
How much of this slop do I have to sling to make the bottom feeders vote for me?