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  1. I demeaned my sheepish dignity to make some obscure point for some nearly human person (definitely not a sheep). I did insist on woollen stockings and suspender belt. But what’s it all about – I’m in suspense?

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  2. “Hairy Maclary ewe have to educate yourself” screeched the woke fairy God-other.

    Then everyone lived happily in the woke utopia where gender was both subjective and simultaneously the most important thing about someone. This was called “standpoint epistemology”, smiled the elderly Ewe smugly in a self congratulatory tone.
    “But” said the little Rook, “How can you claim there is no objective truth AND that your philosophy is capital “T” true. Isn’t standpoint epistemology just enabling status games and socially acceptable narcissism?”

    “2 genders bad 150 genders good, 2 genders bad 150 genders good” bleated the sheep as one.

    And so it was that the Little Rook, old school Transsexuals, 2nd wave Lesbians who wouldn’t suck co*k and anyone who believes in biology was cancelled and unpersoned to the digital gulag. Anyone who is not happy in the utopia is clearly a bigot because nuance is a white patriarchal concept the elderly Ewe helpfully explained.

    And so happiness and peace returned once again until the bisexual goat complained that “bigot” was harmful and anyone using that term was inflicting violence upon zer.

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  5. “After an extensive search and appropriate vetting, we at TVNZ are proud to announce the replacement for Kamahl Santamaria”

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