TV commercials are a dying art form. The emotional triggers used on sunset legacy media in a desperate attempt to keep hyper consumer culture churning over are more blunt than ever and sometimes they work. Sometimes they do not.
Seeing as most of you never watch TV and have adblockers installed, allow us here at TDB to highlight the best and worst of TV adverts you will never see.
BEST TV ADVERT:
Southern Cross – Dear Caroline
Oh! My! God! I cry with joy every single time this advert comes on!
It’s so beautiful! It’s so working class! It’s so emotional!
‘Caroline’ is a staunch and funny Māori manager at the local roading works, we see her going about her day, making jokes, lifting her workers and we see the respect and dignity she holds with them. We see her cuddling a fellow worker who she is obviously in a relationship with, then we get these juxtapositions of her taking medical tests and the hushed voices of a health issue. The day after her test, she’s driving in to work, and all the workers have arrived early to sing ‘Sweet Caroline’ to her!
CRYING RIGHT NOW!
It’s so beautiful you almost forget that Southern Cross is a huge faceless insurance corporation who has enough money for Neil Diamond royalties.
WORST TV ADVERT:
Corrections Recruitment Ad
I have so many questions.
Why did the Corrections Guards turn up to this BBQ in their uniforms?
Why did they all turn up in their uniforms?
Is this BBQ being held in a prison?
Why are Corrections trying to recruit Bankers?
Why would Bankers leave their multi-million dollar salaries to work in an underfunded, corrupt and violent NZ Prison?
The moral of this advert is don’t invite Corrections staff to your BBQ, they are WAY too intense!
Every retirement village advert
I hate every retirement village advert.
Every retirement village advert is the same as every tampon advert, everyone is jumping around happily being active!
Retirement villages are scumbags who treat their people like dying cattle, they have way too much power and should be nationalised.
Their profit margins are a direct reflection of the cruelty of pakeha culture who throw old people aside when they are disposable. Fuck them!
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C’mon it has to the Road to Zero ad. It’s so fucking bad it is amusing.
Agree the road to zero ad is just so painful. Makes you fantasise about the car going through the barrier and into the ravine, Thelma and Louise style.
Yep, that advert wins hands down. It’s epic cringe on every level.
The guy in the corrections advert enters a fugue state and starts carrying on about violence, “raging” and looks like he’s about to shank the poor banker.
Sweet Jesus if you saw that at a barbecue you would back slowly away.
Perhaps they are recruiting for psychopaths?
They possibly are, they probably have a few vacancies to fill. Mind you, being as this is New Zealand, probably no one lost their job or was held accountable, because, you know, er reasons.
https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/431357/new-zealand-may-face-torture-case-over-women-s-treatment-in-prison-lawyer
Love your analysis
Just let them out to barbecue the bankers.
The Southern Cross advert is true for those working and having a health care plan through their employer. They hide the fact that once the employer subsidised (or fully paid for) private health care packaged ends through redundancy, job change or retirement any affordable private healthy care cover goes out the window..
Many people cannot afford the private health care without employer contributions.
Ask anyone who retires how much the private health care premium are and how they go in scale as one gets older.
I consider the private health care providers as scammers. Good for you when employer subsidised. Plain bloody un-afforable if on a benefit, pension or out of work.
And transfer between employers your previous condition that were exempt under one employer suddenly become un-claimable conditions under the next.
Private health care providers only want you when in work. Once out of the work force they wash their hands of you and push it back to public health care providers.
er…Gerrit lighten up! Martyn was commenting on the merits of the creative, the idea contained in those ads. He can’t even do that!!! Ok, here’s a challenge for you: analyse the 3 Waters cartoon tv ad for us and reveal all the hidden meanings.
You’re quite right, the nice old Maori couple in the unit next to mums drove in, they weren’t thrown in.
When you can describe 3 adverts on telly, it means you are getting old unfortunately.
Now what to do with all this vomit all over my lap top..?
Re health insurance. If you’re a private health insurer you must first destroy public health. Get a good lobbyist, under fund the hospitals, pay shit wages to nursing staff and extend waiting times critically in A and E.
Quite simple really.
Power companies work in exactly the same way. Destroy a good thing then make a killing from the wreckage of it. It all sounds a bit sick and corrupt doesn’t it? It all makes me wonder why we put up with it.
That is some conspiracy theory.
Agree the corrections ad is woeful.God knows how much it cost.
A black and white ad stating the career in plain language would be more…effective.
I know a person who tried to get a job with Corrections. I even wrote a recommendation for her. They were totally positive about her chances all through her application and training process, but when she finally applied for a real job, the institute that rejected her application explained why, and it was clear that she was unlikely to ever get a job. A traumatic experience she had been through would be used by hardened inmates…
So why wasn’t she told that from the start when she revealed it?
I would not trust Corrections training people any more than I would trust a Banker.
Every single campaign involving the govt is so fucking awful, contrived and costs an embarassing fortune to not be effective whatsoever! Let’s role play the process at PAWTREC – Preferred Agency With The Right Ethnic Connections:
Creatives: Ok, we’ve got a sharp concept, it’ll win awards. NZ will love it!
Suit takes one glance: Nah, they won’t buy it. First, not ethnic enough. Worse though, it’s clear and concise and memorable and loveable and endearing! Why would they sign off on that?
Creatives: Good point, shall we make it, like, hard to understand?
Suits: Yes, totally contrived please, and also overproduce it so we can attach a nice 12 million dollar media schedule to it. We all have boats and baches to pay yes?
Creatives: Any more salient tips for us?
Suit: Yes, make sure it can easily be approved by a huge committee, so make sure it won’t offend anyone at all. Nothing intuitive or genius – got that? Remember, they sit there and tick boxes on their clipboards. They have degrees. You’re just stupid creatives, ok?!
Creative: Ok, we’ll use that new concept app with the creative algorithms, and we’ll design the logotype on Microsoft Word. And we’ll bring in Neale Jones to write the copy – fuck now that is clever!
Suit: You’re onto it. Take a few days off and start next week!
The ad agency copy writer was having a big laugh…. “we all help people”, says the bankster.
Exactly Joseph. In the good old days people used to rob banks, not the other way round.
“ Chauncey Mellowhorn, who had built the Mellowhorn Retirement Home and set all policy, believed that the last feeble years should be enjoyed, and promoted smoking, drinking, lascivious television programs and plenty of cheap food. Neither teetotallers nor bible thumpers signed up for the Mellowhorn Retirement Home.” Annie Proulx. ‘ Family Man’ in ‘ Fine The Way It Is.’
Banker was pretty dumb asking a man covered in corrections tags what he did for a living.
Can you imagine prison staff wearing uniforms showing who and what they are in public???????
With corrections there is a variation that a young Maori boy saying that his Dads been in prison but is now training to be a corrections officer.
Is it true you can has a prison record and then train as a corrections officer?
If so, can you also train as a police officer if you are a ex criminal too?
Seriously, might be why corruption seems to be rife everywhere and nobody trusts authority anymore.
When gang leaders with family violence convictions are turning up as experts in family violence cases and getting millions from proceeds of crime, something is wrong.
No wonder people are ram raiding – it just doesn’t matter anymore what you do, there are no consequences! Why bother working?
Perhaps the corrections ad was put out by the government nudge unit, sentimentally looking back to the halcyon days of the COVID lockdowns and just gagging for New Zealand to be a militarised open air prison once again.
True true, corrections ad seriously bad, and who authorised it? A complete expensive turn off and really, is likely to do the exact opposite to what they want. Absolutely terrible
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