Day 3 of the lockdown and I have found how quickly it is to reason that cocktails for Breakfast can be nutritional.
As NZ tumbled into a casual Police state this week, here are the winners & losers of Week 1 under Pandemic Lockdown…
PrePandemic Simon Bridges: The week before the Pandemic, Simon was a hot mess. Screaming about burning red tape regulation just as the electorate scrambled to beg for the State to protect them from a pandemic, and slagging off beneficiaries for getting $25 extra a week all made him sound petty and shallow. Bridges managed to make Trump sound reasonable.
Mike Hosking: It didn’t matter what he said last week, it all came across as privileged wank that made a rattle snake sound compassionate. Nothing Jacinda did was sufficient. At first it was complaints she wasn’t doing enough, then it was a complaint she was doing too much. If Jacinda personally developed a vaccine and paid every NZ Business out of her own picket, Mike would still attack her for grandstanding. She could cure cancer, resurrect Jesus and reunite the Beatles and Mike would still argue she was doing it just to get a UN job.
Supermarket bosses: Forcing workers who are essential to keeping the supermarkets open home without pay if they are sick is NOT the way you treat workers in a pandemic! These Supermarkets have a total monopoly for 4 weeks and should have more than enough money to look after their own work force, these are the business tactics of unscrupulous cartels not local supermarkets.
Scum Landlords: Arseholes who raise the rent or evict tenants for not paying their rent during a pandemic are not people we want to protect from lynch mobs.
PostPandemic Simon Bridges: After a deplorable start, Simon finally understood what being the Leader of the Loyal Opposition meant and stepped up. He stopped being a dick and comprehended the importance of his role in a Police State. Thank God he put the country before his political ambitions.
Hilary Barry: We’ve all loved Hills, but sweet Jesus she’s wasted playing Jeremy Well’s Mum 7pm weekdays on Seven Sharp. The pandemic has forced the alter of lite entertainment to actually start being a current affairs show and with it Hillary is allowed to be the Journalist she actually is.
Supermarket workers, Drs, Nurses, Garbage collectors, Pharmacists and every other essential service worker: The incredible way so many have stepped up to serve us in lockdown is truly inspirational. The country owes a debt to them and their courage. It is times like this we are reminded that every worker in a democracy is vital and deserves respect and the right to share in the harvest of that society.
Jacinda: Most of us want to panic buy, but when we check our bank accounts we realise all we can afford is panic. Jacinda’s grace and courage of a Taniwha have led us in our darkest hour with a fearlessness and empathy that marks her out as a unique once in a generation leader. If there is a silver lining to this pestilence, it is that she is our Prime Minister right now.
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TDB Team 2020.