Thank Christ Mike Hosking & Kate Hawkesby have found a new mansion to call home


Brothers and sisters, we can all rest easy today, because the two broadcasters who epitomise white privilege more than a hand-job in a Maserati while listening to Kenny G, Mike Hosking and Kate Hawkesby, have managed to find a new mansion to call home…

Hosking and Hawkesby have bought a country property in Matakana
Following the sale of their Remuera mansion for $9.6 million, broadcasters Mike Hosking and Kate Hawkesby have bought a lifestyle block in Matakana.

Records show the couple paid $4.5 million for a modern, 297 square-metre, four-bedroom home on 5.54 hectares of rolling countryside. The 2017 RV for the house is $2.7 million.

The Bayleys listing said the house was built in 2017 and “engineered to high-end specifications by Waller Projects”.

Special features of the house include dark-stained cedar cladding on the exterior, and a huge family living area with 6m-high exposed trusses, solid American oak floors, shuttered windows and a magnificent fireplace. The top-of-the-line kitchen has a butler’s pantry, sensor lighting, three refrigerators, top-end appliances and marble benchtops.

…that’s right folks, after making a non taxed capital gain of several million for flipping their last luxury home, Mike & Kate finally have a 297 square-metre gold plated cottage to call their very own.

I know you, like I, had been having sleepless nights wondering where Mike & Kate could possibly find a home, what with the 50 000 odd homeless and families living in cars,  how would they manage in todays crazy and over inflated property bubble?

Well, we can all rest easy and hug our children and pets a little less tightly this weekend in the safe knowledge that two of the least deserving amongst us are tucked up warm and dry in a smug wasteland of narcissism and wealth that would make anyone with a conscience vomit.

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  1. I’m so pleased they were spared having to sleep in their Maserati or Lamborghini. How degrading would that have been for the “beautiful” couple?

    They can now afford to buy a decent holiday home in Maui with the profit, near their creepy pony tail fiddling mate!

  2. Why are they the couple we love to hate so much? Leave them be to happily rejoice in their wealth and luxury, just spare me their privileged condescending opinions

    • Sue they are not opinionists, they are alarmists. We know what they write is crap, so the best people can do is ignore them and certainly not open any of their columns as it is seen as a hit for them.
      I saying all of that, they would certainly need a massive front door to be able to fit both their ego’s through at once.

  3. I was really hoping I was going to read they bought a mansion in Hawaii and were both retiring so they could be closer to their bestest mate The John Key. That they’re still in the country is not good news at all.

  4. The new mayor and mayoress of Matakana – look out all you Matakanians because the new mantra you will have to put up with is “thou must live your lives according to the way we think you should live up here.”

    In the meantime dolly blond will be demanding privileges from the various retailers up there while he looks for a race track to wreck one of his vehicles on then laugh it off as he did last time. But probably not for a while because it is likely they will be very busy getting their property ready to host the next National Party conference or set it up as a sleep-over for Simon now that their beloved John and Bill have moved on.

  5. My first thought was the commute to ZB would be absolutely monstrous, even in the Aston.

    But then I realised they surely must have purchased an apartment in Remmers to slum it in weekdays.

    Oh well, sacrifices must be made one supposes!

  6. Martyn,
    You have a good command of the English language but your latent envy and jealousy have now surfaced to reveal your bitter nature. Please be more happy for your brothers and sisters who keep us informed in a non-politically correct way.

    • What the feckity feck is that even supposed to mean John?? Give to us again, this time in unscrambled english, please.

    • Isn’t it pretty much impossible to be jealous of Mike Hosking? How do you envy a contemptuous blowhard whose skull is full of custard?

  7. Look out all you Matakanians. The daily mantra you will receive in various forms will be – “thou must live and think as we do because we preach this on a daily basis to the rest of New Zealand so you too must comply.”

    No doubt dolly blond will be making her various demands on the retail businesses up there while he will be looking for a race track to wreck one of his cars on then laugh it off as he did before; but probably not before they get the place ready for the next National Party Conference or turn it into a sleep-over B&B for Simon now that his beloved John and Bill have moved on.

  8. Marty is just looking out for those poor souls in society that have self lobotomized and were in danger of giving their all needlessly to a hosking crowdfunding plea

    • It isn’t envy Andrew. Kevin Milne is selling his stunning family home now his kids are grown, no doubt for a very tidy sum. He’s received allot of sincere, public, warm wishes. That’s because Kevin Milne isn’t a self-righteous, hypocritical, spoilt, entitled, homelessness denier, as are the Hoskings.

    • No Andrew. A sense of entitlement and scorn of the poor is a terrible thing. If you can understand thst, everything falls into place. It’s called e-m-p-a-t-h-y.

      You’re welcome buddy.

  9. They’re my age peers from the old NZ so I’ll comment by right. Aint they vile. The fruits of born again Christianity in the case of Kate Hawkesby, but the bilious juice is all integral from ‘Mike’.

  10. Surely ZB are letting Cockskin & Dawkesby broadcast from home – that’s far too Long a commute, surely..? Or maybe they’ve got a driver? Tough life, innit?

    • @ KELSTER … or perhaps invest in a helicopter to take them to work, with the profit from the sale their Remuera mansion. Bet the locals would love the sound of a chopper starting up in the early hours of the morning five days a week! Not!

  11. Is the property by any chance located right next door to Hosking and Hawkesby’s beloved John Key?
    Perhaps that means neither Hosking nor Key need to walk too far from each other to write up the numerous articles that Hosking seems to call his own!!!????!!!!
    Considering Hosking is so volatile in attitude when some unfortunate woman hit his car by mistake in Parnell some years ago I kind of don’t think he has the mental ability to be capable of writing such an array of articles especially because the bulk of his articles are having a go to the point of boredom of the current government.
    John Key often pretended that he had an answer for everything and the Hosking articles reek of the same approach.
    And so therefore perhaps Key is the ghost writer of the Hosking NZ Herald articles but Hosking calls them HIS OWN.

  12. Soory, everyone, but I don’t give a crap about if they may or may not have somewhere to live. They might have had to rough it in a 5-star hotel! However, I DO feel for whoever has to put up with them in their community, or worse, as neighbours.
    All this tends to lead to another question though: What sort of society is this, where two people can get paid so much for bullshitting, running others down, and generally inflicting their bigoted views on everybody?
    I’m in the wrong job.

    • Mike is a tame right wing shithead, oops I mean shill and he will predictably spout whatever lines please his corporate pals.

      This scruffy oxygen thief panders to the selfish Nat demographic who made a killing on property (double your money in the last 10 years), moneyed Chinese interests, and being a barometer of half baked idiots’ opinions on talkback radio

      An uneducated, arrogant little pimp for the Establishment

    • I concur with you.
      By putting stories like this in here, the TBD is just doing what Hosking wants – confirming his celebrity status.
      The answer to your question is: bullshit and con artists always do well in our society because they have the political and financial backing and few challengers.

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