Why Kate Hawkesby is a steaming pile of elitist human garbage OR Kate Hawkesby sings the blues


It had to happen didn’t it?

Up until now, we had been doing so well in the crime and punishment debate hadn’t we?

For the first time in a  long time it felt like the adults had taken over the discussion.

We had finally started appreciating how racist and damaged our ‘get tough on crime’ rhetoric had become. We had started accepting that mindlessly locking New Zealanders up in over crowded double bunked violent prisons was creating vastly more damaged people than it was fixing.

We had finally started to get our head around the fact that 60% of those released within 2 years are back in prison.

We were finally getting over being self righteous fuckwits who piously get manipulated by the Sensible Sentencing  lynch mob and their Political enablers.

Andrew Little was in charge and there seemed a sliver of hope that the worst angels of our nature would be forever banished from the social policy as spite that has built our prison industry.

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And then along came Kate.

There is a certain breed of NZers who delight in the suffering that prison causes. For them, they are not mollified that the loss of liberty is punishment, they thirst for the sadism of agony. They aren’t happy until they see prisoners chained together in orange jumpsuits on the side of the road breaking rock while singing, ‘Ol Man River’.

For this class of Kiwi, they rage every Christmas when some fucking two bit shitty NZ journalist prints the menu that prisoners will eat on Christmas Day as if the cold bit of chook and two roast potatoes they eat somehow is an affront to justice.

“The victims of their crimes won’t be eating that this Christmas” this special type of knuckle dragging talkback vigilantes bray.

Which brings me to Kate Hawkesby at the NZ Herald Troll Farm. Her latest column denigrating and denouncing a garden at the new Maximum Security prison is a page out of the National Party playbook.

Though I imagine a bitter pill to swallow for the victims of heinous crime whose assailants are getting treated for coughs and colds – while their own family members may not have had the same chance.

But a smattering of plants to provide texture, a sense of calm, and a feeling of peace? Hmmmmmm, that one’s not washing so well with me.

Will our most violent criminals benefit from stopping to smell the spearmint?

Will running their fingers through the thyme evoke a sensation of peace for them?

Will they pause among the basil to reflect? I can only hope so.

How will the success of this NZ first be measured?

It won’t be. I doubt we will hear any statistics on inmates who turned around a life of crime after fondling the rosemary or inhaling the dill, but I’m prepared to be amazed if it does.

I’d like to think that of the $300m, only a very small portion of it is going on the herbs and lavender.

I’d also like to think that the person who decided that a sensory garden was the best place for badly needed funds inside a prison to be spent actually had some pretty good reasons as to why.

This steaming pile of elitist human garbage wants to snuff out the tiny pinprick of light that might just might lift a human being up from the misery of their incarceration.

Here the claim is that Prisons are now an adult Disneyland with landscaping to rival the great gardens of European Royalty.

One part we never acknowledge in the cluster fuck of spite our prison system has become is the role of the mainstream media and cruel pundits like Hawkesby. They whip negative sentiment up for nothing more callous than ratings and feed the resentment that has left us with a broken corrections system.

Showing a tiny amount of kindness to prisoners  in the form of a garden doesn’t make us support their violence or their crime. It doesn’t denigrate the victims of their rage and cruelty. It doesn’t make their incarceration a de facto holiday camp.

It shows compassion, the way a liberal progressive democracy should behave. The vile snobbery of Hawkesby and her thirst for suffering masquerading as a concern for justice is sickening and beneath the debate we are currently trying to have.

We should show her views and those who champion vengeance over mercy the contempt they deserve,   they have no enlightenment, just the boorish bruise of the very barbarism they claim to recoil from.



  1. Martyn;

    She is un-holy and has very scarry eyes.

    Mum always said;

    “the eyes are the mirror to our soul”.

    So Kate Hawkesbury has a very dark dead soul that is so scarred with hate alright.

  2. Well, daddy’s li’l girl is Mike Hoskings’s other half.
    They’re a double act in misery.

  3. she reminds me of my mother in law who used to laugh at every christmas dinner and say,”I wonder what the poor people are doing now”?

  4. Thank you for your common sense and compassion. I agree with every word having been gobsmacked by the fake news in her article. I think maybe the solution to going soft on the incarcerated is to improve on the Ozzie model and send our convicts offshore to the Hawaiian hotel her buddy has had to endure recently. Bring back tough justice.

  5. agree….compassion is the way forward and Kate needs a week with “those ” people….might open her brain as wide as her insightless eyes….BUT there are those albeit a small percentage who need to be locked up for good….they dont give a shit who they hurt kill or maim and for some hang em till they dead but the large majority are just a bit fucked up and made some bad choices…..compassion and learning can give them a chance to see they can choose from a much longer list.

  6. I totally agree with you Martyn… You the man!!! Yay finally someone has written the truth about “dark” Kate who is a disgrace and despicable with her “racist”, mean and uncalled for fake, disturbing and repugnant #dumb negative reports. Get rid of her asap as she’s an embarrassment to all the compassionate, caring and responsible real news reporters out there in Aotearoa, N.Z. She’s an insult to all women as well…

    • … ‘ She’s an insult to all women as well ‘ …

      And Emu’s.

      It must be the eyes,… I don’t know ,… but Emu repeatedly comes to mind…

  7. Curious isn’t it… how all those ignoramusus (“ignoramusii”?) who bleat that prisons are “holiday resorts” and “hotels” fail to line up to go inside to “enjoy the facilities”…

    Why is that, I wonder?

    • If we had the proper laws against corruption I’m pretty sure that they would be lining up to ‘enjoy the facilities.’

  8. I would have thought prisoners connecting with the natural world is a good thing. Stark ugly urban landscapes have quite a bit to do with crime.

  9. No-one’s that obtuse – this is part of the media’s anti-govt agenda and curly girl Kate is just doing what she is being paid to do, and probably paid very well. Stop clicking on her.

  10. Don’t be too hard on Kate.
    You can’t be married to someone like Hosking and not expect at least a few of the flies to land on you too.

  11. Gee, I wonder what would happen to criminals hardened by a harsh, punitive prison regime? What would such hardened criminals be like when they finally got released? Any thoughts on that percolating in that blonde bimbo’s “brain” , I wonder??

    • Pfffft !

      No its not , – I’ve got longer hair than that and its got natural waves in it albeit about a third of it being grey .

      And she still looks like an Emu to me.

  12. Clearly two sides to every story.
    Some very mentally traumatized people end up in jail after years of abuse.doesnt justify what they have done to anyone else BUT why not offer a calming influence in the hope that humanity will prevail and not means inhumanity to man!!

  13. Brilliant piece Martyn, every word counted. Your necessary anger over this is compelling.

    Not to forget that research shows how biased our justice system is. Maori are targeted more than pakeha by cops and more likely to be imprisoned by judges. My own understanding is that many are more likely to be innocent of what they are accused of.

    Our justice system exists in a class system so being Maori is compounded by being working class in the eyes of the law.

  14. Some funny, witty contributions made me laugh out loud, you clever people. I do sound earnest in comparison.

    Loved your comment Aaron.

  15. Though I imagine a bitter pill to swallow for the victims of heinous crime whose assailants are getting treated for coughs and colds – while their own family members may not have had the same chance.
    Rich people, like Hawkesby, are the cause of poverty and thus the cause of people who can’t afford to eat Xmas Day. It’s not the ‘criminals’ who do that who are probably just trying to address their own poverty that’s also been caused by the Hawkesby’s of the world.

    ill our most violent criminals benefit from stopping to smell the spearmint?

    Will running their fingers through the thyme evoke a sensation of peace for them?

    Yep, it probably will. There’s quite a bit of research showing that we need green space around us and that it calms us.

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