satire

Gang tensions high at Waitangi.

“My fellow New Zealanders. I would like to answer all questions about my dodgy donations by self selecting some questions to read out on the Facebook.

WINSTON: “You see. Half of this fish is donated to the NZ First Foundation who then loans it to NZ First. The other half of the fish is owned by a subsidiary of the Trust while this other fish is banked with the Party Secretary who also takes 2 more fish.”

JOURNALISTS: “But that’s a total of 4 fish Mr Peters.”

WINSTON:”Shut up you journalists! I’m not going to be lied to about how many fish I have. I’ve done nothing wrong!”

Dr Seuss’s new book:

One Bum

Two Bums

Red Bums

Blue Bum

“I love Wanky Concert FM more!”

“No I love wanky Concert FM more!”

When your heteronormative neighbours crash your gay event to tell you how well you’re doing. 

A whiter shade of pale.

I’ll be using this to wipe way arse with later you orange freak. 

Ahhh, this is your Captain speaking. There is no need to be alarmed, but I’m not taking this suit off until I fly the plane directly into the Sun. Don’t forget you can ask Judy or her team for any light refreshments during this flight and Happy Birthday to our Air Hostess, Carol