GUEST BLOG: Nick Rockel – Serving at Seymour’s pleasure

Something odd happened yesterday, and I’d love to know if there’s more to it. If there was something which preempted what happened, or if it was simply a throwaway line in response to a journalist.

Yesterday David Seymour was asked at a press conference what the process would be if the PM wanted to throw an ACT Minister down an empty lift shaft. As he did with Ministers Lee and Simmonds last week.

The ACT leader said Luxon would be in breach of their coalition agreement if he chose to sack one of Seymour’s team like that. Which seemed like an encouragement to the PM to know his place, and get back in his box.

Hmm, my reference to him as Mr 8% is a bit out of date now, but more on that in a bit.

“There’s no way that I would expect another party leader to unilaterally sack an Act minister, that would be a breach of the faith in the coalition agreement, that would be a major problem,”said Seymour.

So it seems the coalition agreement is a get out of jail free card. An immunity from being held to account, for minor party ministers, unless their party leader agrees.

The great and terrible Luxon can be a tiger with his own troops, but he’s going to be a pussycat with those from his allies. Lest his crown fall off.

Which is a hell of a thing when you consider the propensity for scandals from the likes of Shane Jones, Casey Costello, and Winston himself. Not to mention the top notch crew from ACT who might be up for ministerial roles.

Like Todd Stephenson, who you may have read about. If you haven’t, it’s well worth a look, Braunias is back on form in this excellent article.

Alas it turns out that poor old Todd Stephenson, the party’s spokesperson for the arts, doesn’t really know anything about them. He claims to have an interest, but not one so strong that it has compelled him to actually go and see much art. At all.

You’ve got to feel for the bloke. He’s been straight up about the fact that he has no relevant knowledge or experience. He hasn’t exaggerated anything, his bio doesn’t even mention the arts. It says his interests, outside of politics, are hiking and travelling.

Although there’s no word on whether he’s actually given either activity a go, or if it’s more of an interest at a distance thing. Like his secret admiration for the arts.

He basically got the job by saying, sure why not? I’ll have a go. Besides it’s unfair to judge him on his area of responsibility, he only came to parliament to be a lobbyist.

Yes, prior to becoming an MP Todd spent 17 years in the pharmaceutical industry. Although I’m sure that David Seymour’s excitement yesterday over Pharmac funding had nothing to do with that. It seems far more likely that he was motivated by concern for the health and wellbeing of his fellows.

I apologise, I may have just blown my sarcasm quota. How about something different? How about those polls?

Are we back on track yet? Do people like the way things are going? How are things looking for the coalition? In a word:

Catastrophic!

It was carnage. National dropped two, ACT one, and NZF two, falling below the 5% threshold. In total a drop of 5% for the right.

Over on the left Labour were up two, as were the Greens, so a lift of 4%

An absolute bloodbath of a poll for the right, which if repeated at an election would mean that Labour, the Greens, and Te Pāti Māori could form a government.

Quite a turn around, and a real indictment in particular of the policies from the minor parties that have proven to be so contentious. On these numbers NZ First would be out altogether and ACT would be a minor opposition party.

I know it’s almost two and a half years, but damn it felt good to write that.

It doesn’t feel like there’s been much in the way of good news lately, and judging by this poll it looks like there might be quite a few people feeling like that.

We haven’t even had the budget yet for goodness sake. This poll indicates that there isn’t a lot of goodwill in the tank, and I imagine they were anticipating burning a fair amount of political capital when it comes out at the end of May.

But their focus groups will be focussing harder than ever to avoid headlines worse than this…

It’s good to see Chippy smiling, it’d be great to see a lot more of it. Anyone that’s still quibbling over whether he’s the right guy, I reckon they’re missing the point.

Which is the people on the other side. I have no respect for them or the fact they won the election. It doesn’t give them a blank cheque for the next three years. Well maybe the ministers from ACT and NZ First, but not the others.

This poll is a wake up that whatever perceived mandate they felt they obtained from cobbling together this three headed dog of a coalition, it’s gone.

People thought things like the cost of living and crime were going to be addressed, the realisation might be dawning that they’re not. Maybe those polled were unhappy at the culture wars being prioritised by ACT and NZ First, over actually doing something to make life any different.

Obviously some things are different, if you have a property portfolio, or you had a public sector job, you’ll have noticed some changes. But for all those in Luxon’s infamous squeezed middle – what’s the difference?

The lady with the hugs is gone? Grow up!

Another ram raid here, another violent assault there. Who are we blaming now? How long before the ACT lady starts wanting to arm shopkeepers? If you give that young Sales Assistant in Michael Hill’s a gun, those ram raiders will bring weapons too. Is that the New Zealand you want?

Never fear though, the government had a big announcement. Mobile phones were banned in schools – well, whoopty doo! That’s a do nothing policy, a gimmick to appeal to the easily bewildered.

For goodness sake. schools already did that to the extent they wanted to, or could police. The grand roll out yesterday with Erica Stanford and Christopher was a parade without purpose, other then pretending they have an education policy.

What next Erica? A plan to teach the children reading, writing, and maths? Oh for goodness sake. Stop announcing policies for things that are already in place.

Erica said she was focussed on achievement, attendance and engagement. She highlighted things she’s already done, the ban on cellphones which began yesterday, truancy measures, and requiring schools to teach, you guessed it, an hour of reading, writing and mathematics. As if they weren’t already doing that.

Great plan Erica. Kids should go to school, learn the three Rs, and not play on their phones. Did you come up with that during an elevator ride, in a not particularly tall building?

In response PPTA President, Chris Abercrombie, said “the Government can have all the education priorities in the world but they will be meaningless if schools don’t have enough teachers in the first place.”

So a government with no vision that is falling in the polls. Back seat drivers setting the direction but with no accountability.

How does that famous quote from Winston go? It’s important to acknowledge your source remember kids…

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

Tomorrow is May Day. A day to recognise the achievements of the Labour movement and the ongoing fight for fair treatment. The movement has been at the heart of progress in this country in terms of pay, worker safety, leave entitlements and more, and they continue to stand up for working people in this country.

The CTU have been fantastic over the last year, at the election and since. At times they seem to be doing the media’s job in providing the analysis and detail of what the policies of this coalition will actually do.

There are protests scheduled tomorrow in the major centres, which have been organised by the unions. I’m not clear as to whether the intention was to provide a mass protest that many in this country have been wanting to see, with the daily awfulness from this government.

In any case I think it’s a good opportunity to express your dissatisfaction with the government – to stand up and be heard. To stand shoulder to shoulder with the unions who have done so much for this country and are vitally important in resisting the damage the coalition seems intent on causing to the lives of the hard working people of Aotearoa.

Unions might seem a bit old fashioned to some, many of us don’t work in unionised environments. I think the changes in working arrangements, seeing ad hoc hours with no guarantee, pseudo contractor models to avoid the responsibilities of an employer, as well as the actions of this government – mean they have never been more important than they are right now.

If you think that sounds over the top, then go and check out, as an example, Brooke van Velden on Q&A recently talking about worker safety. She couldn’t care less. Sure she’ll say the nice words but anyone who watched that interview could be left in no doubt that profits not people were her priority.

You could do the same with a series of other interviews, Luxon, Simeon Brown, Chris Bishop, Louise Upston. They are all very clear that they stand for the best of Kiwi Dreams for the well off and they simply have no regard for the rest.

In my view unions, are the keepers of our dream. Not the bad one we wake up to every morning, wondering what ghastly, previously unthinkable, thing this lot will do next. I mean my Kiwi dream, I suspect it’s yours too, and one that’s shared by the vast majority.

It’s pretty much what Big Norm said.

A decent job where we get rewarded for hard work and our health and wellbeing are not up for debate. Where everyone can afford to buy a home or is assisted into one. That wages are high enough to pay the bills and have a little left over to smell the roses and actually enjoy life.

That’s not too much to ask is it? If you don’t think so maybe get along to a rally tomorrow. You don’t have to take time off work, pop out for an hour at lunchtime.

Show your support and that the result of this poll is not a one off or an anomaly. That it’s the start of Aotearoa waking up and saying – this is not what we want.

We don’t want these funding cuts and job cuts, the ridiculous culture wars attacking Māori and other groups. It’s time for the government to stand up too, and admit that it would be irresponsible to borrow for tax cuts.

To show that they actually represent all of us – because it sure as heck doesn’t look like it at the moment.

“Nick Rockel is a left wing writer who spent far too long working in IT and now writes “Nick’s Kōrero”. An almost daily substack of political satire, news, and views, from Aotearoa New Zealand. He lives in West Auckland, and has 5 kids, 2 dogs, and 1 wife.