Political Caption Competition

How much of this slop do I have to sling to make the bottom feeders vote for me?

John Key wannabe fears he will have his ponytail pulled.

As usual, bald idiot demonstrates he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

It’s a little known fast that Uncle Fester played Compo in the first season of Last of the Summer Wine.

Doesn’t he realise his rubber hat can unroll all the way down.

Luxon picks Lox?

Yeeha – finally my pay reflects my talent!

Super-excited and ambitious and getting my Mojo back here on planet earth. Awesome!

If I want 7 houses I can do this job for 4,236 years – what a great country this is!

Ambitious for this brilliant job with a great Kiwi employer – at last I’m paid what I’m really worth

Like Nicola I’m “good with numbers and economics” – so they’ve got me counting those yellow cubes of whatever. So fulfilling! How great is Planet Earth?

So stoked that National will remove the median wage requirement for visas – I’ll get to do this awesome job for less money!

OMG. As a fairly normal cisgender (is that ok?) woman, this has to be the most repulsive splodge of a political bloke that I’ve ever seen pictured. OMG.

Maggot Cubes Cooked by the Hairless Wonder of the Nats.

Chris wears a shower cap to stop his lonely little brain cell from escaping.

With a cap such as this, who would guess that there’s nothing underneath it ?

Should’ve donned his headgear before Key’s creepy clammy hands pulled at him.

Christopher makes his play lunch every morning.

How to prevent unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases

I get things done. They were putting too many cubes of yellow stuff on top. Whoa! WTF – wasteful spending. I delivered a solution-focused solution right here on Planet Earth!

Nicola, Nicola can you hear me – my earpiece is clogged with cream. I can see some gloopy edible things we could sell to foreign buyers! That’s another $1Bn in tax cuts – do the numbers add up? Nicola? Nicola?

Luxon demonstrates easy car boot cooking.

Looking forward to heaps more immigration! Doesn’t bother me, I am competitive and delivery-focused, on the move, a valued employee and getting ahead! If my wages drop it’ll only be because I deserve it!

Wow! So much red tape! Have to wash my hands after taking a dump! It’s holding back great Kiwi businesses!

These deserts are back on track and rock solid! I’m ambitious for deserts! It’s about solutions and delivery – delivering desert delivery solutions in a great Kiwi way! So excited for it!

“I think continually of those who were truly great”
Love that poem! My favourite! Stephen Spender – I call him “Big Spender”. Clearly an ambitious guy who votes National! Is he a tech billionaire who needs a house in Queenstown (or Mt Albert maybe) ? Hope he does, it’ll be great for the economy, and he might write another poem about me working here.

Problem solver, that’s what I am! We need technology to make these cakes soak up CO2. They’ll taste nice and fizzy and solve climate change! So there – James Shaw doesn’t know diddly squat. Great for the economy and the climate! We’ll be a world-leader! The market is always the solution. Can I get a patent for my idea?

Next I’ll do Dipton’s Double Dippers’s disgusting pizzas with the crap on top, and fritters from the neighbours’ throw outs.

Next: Feeding a family of four for a week with no electricity and half of a supermarket cabbage.

Yuck the bottom feeders actually feed this slop to their kids ?

Ten second photo opp over to show I can relate.

Milton was right…. wealth and greed is great and I am not poor ..YEHAAA

Nightmare over.

Condom man.