National Party Conference 2023: When will rich white guys get a break and brave courageously liberal change in parole rules

I am the egg man. He is the egg man. You are the walrus. Co co ca Choo.

So the National Party Conference has closed and it’s all ended up being a giant whinge about a loss of privilege and why won’t Kiwis give rich white men a break level delusion.

There was the tough on crime stuff that won’t work.

No one seems to have explained to Luxon what the 30% prison population reduction policy actually is (it’s a National Party policy btw that allows for nonviolent prisoners to apply for home detention) and he has made an enormous policy change whereby Prisoners no longer have to accept their guilt to gain access to rehabilitation programs!

Thanks to the bail changes National made the last time they were in power, most prisoners are no longer eligible for early parole and National forced prisoners to have to admit their guilt before they can take up rehabilitation, but Luxon bravely and courageously decided to dump all that bullshit and has offered prisoners free access to rehabilitation without forcing them to admit their guilt, and surprisingly extended that to Remand where prisoners haven’t even been sentenced yet – so why the fuck they would take these rehabilitation programs up when they get released for time served anyway seems to suggest Luxon has no idea what he is talking about.

I say courageous and brave changes to rehabilitation facetiously because I know hand on heart Luxon has no idea how the policy gets worked and probably wasn’t even aware Prisoners have to admit guilty before they can get on a rehab programme and that’s why so few in remand can access them.

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Watch this muppet walk all this back by the end of the week once journalists start asking actual details of the rehab programme in remand and if that means they don’t have to admit guilt and watch how many times Chris comes up against National’s own self imposed bullshit on these rules.

Judges have discretion to make these decisions with mercy, National want ti strip Judges of their independence and enforce state sanctioned minimums which will explode the prison population.

Luxon says National’s aim is 45% this election. With David Seymour head and shoulders above Chris, National will be lucky to get 34% on Election night.

Oh and,””We will stop the despair and start the great repair.”???

What a clanger!

National Conference 2023: It had a Pentecostal Time Share Regional Sales Annual Meeting Vibe


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  1. Kiri to PA…What’s a victim of crime? Are they some white right wing bullshit?

    Kelvin to secretary…Prison reform? I thought that meant emptying prisons?

    • Kelvin was outraged at the fight clubs in prison when he was in opposition. Doesn’t seem so outraged in the level of violence he has let out into the streets.

      • S crumb did Kelvin let out the violence on our streets from his jennie bottle, sounds like you have been watching too much netflixs

  2. I believe someone said “it can’t be any worse” than what we have had. It won’t be for lack of trying. Pointing out what a bunch of muppets National has become is not a defence of Labour it’s just pointing out the obvious

      • There you are so fucking hysterical.


        They hate people getting high wages
        THey hate public services
        They hate clean air
        They hate clean water
        They hate railways
        They hate cheap power prices
        They hate state housing with low rents and long tenure
        They hate public ownership
        They hate due process
        They hate Palestinians
        They hate LGBT’s
        They hate the poor

        Fuck you Anker, fucking jumped up priviliged Karen. I bet you get workers fired because they look at you the wrong way when they make your latte

      • There you are so fucking hysterical.


        They hate people getting high wages
        THey hate public services
        They hate clean air
        They hate clean water
        They hate railways
        They hate cheap power prices
        They hate state housing with low rents and long tenure
        They hate public ownership
        They hate due process
        They hate Palestinians
        They hate LGBT’s
        They hate the poor

        Fuck you Anker, fucking jumped up priviliged Karen. I bet you get workers fired because they look at you the wrong way when they make your latte

  3. Ginny to some lacky…How many is 1800? Its whatever you want Minister. Ginny…800+200=1800? Yes Minister!

    • Luxon to voters ” um, ah, but er, I’ll refer your question to one of my lackies because I am clueless um ah dah”
      Luxon ” oh what they put that policy into practise last week in parliament? I must have been away, wait, what er up, I wasn’t?”

  4. That conference looks a bit… low budget? The slogan is rubbish as well. Doesn’t exactly inspire confidence!

  5. Well if I had donated millions to the National party i would be asking for my money back. Looking at Nicola Willis “anywhere but here “ comes to mind . What a shambles . All you right wingers be honest ( for once in your lives ) . How can you elect these f***wits , how can you elect a government who doesn’t know how much things cost, there will be no costings until AFTER the election. How can you vote for a party that wants to control the judiciary, how can you vote for a party that knows nothing about inequality ( Bishop). How can you vote for a party that states wealth is king ( Willis ). How can you vote for a party that pretends to be workers and belittles workers ( Brown and Bishop ). Be honest seriously how can you, if this is national’s best and brightest we are seriously f***ed.

  6. Gang recruitment numbers metastasized under the Jonkey govt which is reflected in today high gang participation mainly from Maori. Why is this the case?

    Firstly Maori are more likely to be treated harsher than any other demographics in our criminal Justice system. Admittingly Maori do commit more crime than other demographic percentage of population however historic dispossession and racism are important factors that need to be considered when making these assessments.

    This isn’t only a phenomenal here in NZ/AO but affects other indigenous population that have experienced the benevolence (sarcasm) of british imperialism. The Justice system is racist by default even if the system makes tweeks like what labour have implemented (cultural consideration) or more Maori police officers the system is still in place that target unfairly the dispossessed.

  7. Three strikes did not work in America and neither has the death penalty better for our judges to give Crims longer sentences if their crime justifies it. Most of what National want to implement around crime etc we as a country have been there and done that.

    • Just out of interest they didn’t prosecute much under the previous three strikes rules. Can I ask as I can’t find out anywhere – is this because it worked?

  8. I, a man, have one rule about who to trust. And it can never be a man. Certainly not a Pakeha man. Certainly not a man with no hair, and certainly not somebody who does not sound dissimilar to a Drunk Prime Minister called Robert Muldoon. With a visual semblance also.

    The campaign slogans are offensive. The National Party is clearly desperate to jump on a popular wagon, but have no idea how modern populism functions; entirely awfully of course, but Seventh Day Aventurer Luxurious Seven Houses Luxon cannot help but offend almost everybody, almost every time he opens his mouth. Which means he is not a listener. We need leaders who know how to listen; NOT WANNABE PREACHERS!

    Listen to John Mellencamp’s 1989 album Big Daddy Of Them All and there is a very clever lyric asking “What kind of world do we live in, when Seven and Eleven equals Two???”.

    Neo-liberal capitalism is haemorrhaging and this is not the time for old men, and certainly not old men who believe in a sky man!!!

  9. National want US style policing and prisons.
    Maori gunned down or beaten sensless in the back of a police car
    Gang run prisons where gaurds turn a blind eye while weak inmates get raped and shanked by cellmates.

  10. bitching from the entitled is a feature of neo-liberal discourse….as they have no economic solutions talking points is all they have

  11. Labour, Act & the Nats are all Neo Liberal hacks. There is no difference!

    “Deng Xiaoping famously said that it doesn’t matter if a cat is black or white so long as it catches mice.”

  12. National have clearly shown they want the best for all New Zealanders,meanwhile after 6 years of Labour has seen nothing but hardship for most.

  13. Violent crime has gone up % under Labour. Almost everything Labour has done has failed. NZ is in a perilous state.

    If Labour et al are re elected we will see an even bigger crack down on free speech. Without free speech we have nothing

      • Anker is just a priviliged white women who doesnt want her personal space befouled by smelly brown people.

    • More hysteria from a fucking Karen who wants to use fear about rising crime to impose a police state. Just wait till your beloved cops start gunning down Maori in cold blood, or stopping random people in the street to search them, perhaps even bash them with nighsticks?

      I would rather have free health care than free speech. Free speech just gives a platform to racisets, homphobes and hate mongers. You must be a really sad person to give up publicly funded health and education and workers protection so you can call someone a sodomite or a the N-word online.


  14. Great conference,great speakers,great policy.
    A real Government in waiting.
    Great opportunity for all New Zealanders.

    • And waiting a very, very long time, judging by their numbers, thankfully.

      Poor conference, poor speakers, poor policy (but we knew that already)

    • English summed up National governments with that one statement… ‘moral and fiscal failure’:

  15. Just one anti neo-liberal word from Labour and the National party will die before your very eyes.
    All Labour has to do to destroy national and ACT is to drag neo -liberalism into the ring and kill it by exposing the fact that it was national who infected our politics with milton friedman’s little playing. ACT’s seymour’s slithering around luxon’s feet like the little lap poodle he is so what does that tell you?
    Then, once the natzo’s are reeling on the ropes, lets find out what national did with all the free farmer money they’ve stolen from about 1900 to, say, yesterday.
    Aye boys?

    • just one vision to deliver us from the evils of corporatism could swing the ticket – but I wouldn’t count on it coming from Unionists.

  16. On sentencing, “Judges have discretion to make these decisions with mercy,”…Yeah, very unfortunately last weeks 85% discount on a rapist really sunk Judges discretion for good. They have proven they cannot be trusted and will default to the easy to live with answer. And by doing so these same Judges are trying very hard to put the courts out of business!

    • Xray, on one hand you are saying judges cannot be trusted and you want the government to control them, so does that mean if ( god forbid ) a NACT government is elected the whole tenet of law education will have to be changed to be able to fit into the NACT’s controlling narrative. On the other hand you have spoken all things socialism, ie. control by the state, you have accused the Labour government of the very thing you want the NACT government to do. This stance is hypocritical on so many levels. You talk about emptying prisons, the fact is many prisoners were languishing and were unable to be released but no one helped them to complete the paperwork. This is because so many of them couldn’t read. The longer an inmate is detained the more streetwise he becomes and there lies the danger. The National party couldn’t even cost this so called pitiful policy. They want to cut the public service, so are they busy behind the scenes organizing SERCO to privatize our prisons, look where it got us last time. Beware of fools and false promises and MP’s who introduce a policy and don’t know what it costs.

      • big C conservatives are a walking hypocrisy – they preach government nanny state on one hand and cry for the govt. to do something on the other.

    • Of course, people like you want summary executions. The right of cops to just kill people in cold blood, like George Floyd.

  17. National Party Conference

    In Chris Luxon’s earpiece..
    JK to Chris, JK to Chris can you hear me Chris?
    Ah yes John..
    Good, now Chris just repeat everything I say.
    Ok John..

    In JK’s earpiece..
    Bankers Association to JK, Bankers Association to JK..

  18. $200.000, the slot, we live in, your jail time farmer brown, eh slow not stop, bring back the birch for our youth punishment.

  19. Seems like Nick Mowbray’s 3 billion empire isn’t enough to get National over the line. When will the right concede that money doesn’t win an election, policy does?
    As we have seen consistently with National governments policies , they are corrupt, self serving, donor rewarding and punitive, resulting in hardship for most and the demise of N.Z’s infrastructure. They focus on rewarding millionaires and billionaires, clearly showing they want the worst for 99% of New Zealanders.

  20. Seriously,Xray,bob,trevor,shona,gagarin, Denny, etc.etc. is this the best they can do with all their millions of donor money. Never mind the right or the left this is serious garbage when the opposition who want to be the government haven’t got a clue. You lot worry about WOKE ruling this country however where has this lot been for the last 6 years , where is the serious planning, costing etc.etc. They are so busy running a negative narrative that they can’t see the wood for the trees. Bishop states all their “ point plans “ are NOT policies they will be released AFTER the election, seriously who does that ??? . People who think they are “born to rule” that’s who.

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