Crusher Burns Bridges: Winners & Losers

In the end it was like Thanos turning on his own army of super villains. Watching the breathtaking audacity of Collins manufacturing a MeToo harpoon to character assassinate her leading rival had everyone gasping at the sheer balls of it.

But it was a political reflex of vengeance that could no longer be ignored by the wider Caucus. In the end it was a coup against a leader who was in the bunker ordering the destruction of the capital.

An executive necessity to bring order back to the universe required her immediate dismissal as leader.

They will need to bury her in 3 different coffins on sacred ground at midnight however or she will return from the political grave more dangerous than ever before.

Maybe a run at the Auckland Mayoralty?

What Judith did by smearing Bridges was as needlessly self mutilating as a vegan in a butcher shop.

There are of course winners and losers.

Winners:

ACT – If David Seymour’s smile grows any bigger it will split from his face and start its own Branch. ACTs incredible team discipline has allowed ACTs star performer to garner all the attention without exposing its creepy gun rights extremism and while Judith detonates her political suicide vest, David is there to welcome disgusted National voters who don’t read the ACT Party fine print to start a race war.

Winston Peters – Almost as Machiavellian as Seymour, Winston offers the same disgusted National voters a new political home to get him over 5%, the difference is Winston’s target demo still have Sky TV, so it’s a rapidly decreasing electoral pool.

God & the Christ child – Having a devoted servant like Chis Luxon running will bring about the rapture quicker. All hail Jesus!

Labour – They can not believe their luck, after devastating documents highlighting beaurcratic incompetence preparing for Delta, ramming through traffic light legislation while managing to trample on every civil liberty toe in the process and the usual Titans of housing and poverty erupting with more pent up damage, National is melting down once again and sucking up all the news oxygen by self immolation. Labour should immediately announce a Capital Gains Tax, a new Auckland Harbor tunnel and a monorail for Wellington before anyone notices! Grant Robertson will send Cameron Slater a thank you card for Christmas.

Democracy – Judith overplayed her hand and Caucus saw the sociopathic gleam in her eye and realised she could never be trusted with the actual Prime Ministership and Executive Power. You get the cold feeling that Judith’s threshold for Martial Law is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, e very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, low.

Quite low.

We all dodged a bullet here comrades.

Losers:

Cameron Slater & Dirty Politics – His style of toxic politics is once again hunted down and expelled from the body politic like a matastatising tumor. Back to your radioactive crypt Defiled one! I need a young activist and an old activist to spray holy water on him while crying out in a great voice, ‘The power of Marx compels you! The power of Marx compels you’!  It was fun watching all those plans burn Cam. I never bring enough lighter fluid to these paybacks.

Satan – With a soul spirit warrior like Christ Luxon running, the fallen angel of Lucifer best be worried and concerned that his days of trickery are over once all the abortion clinics are closed down gosh darn it!

National – This is beyond your average Sado-masochistic end of year party now, what on earth are they doing? It feels like an intervention is requires from trusted friends.

Judith – In the end, Judith was Judith. A politician gifted in the art of terror and manipulation whose opening gambit was always a direct kick to the nuts as way of handshake.

Her ruthlessness on display like an open secret that everyone tolerated out of fear and excitement.

Who was she casually decapitating today?

I suspect beneath the faded and worn down scales of her thick armor is a person as saddened by her lack of progress as we were all appalled by it.

The race baiting, the casual malice, the spite policy, the constant head banging, the appeal to our angriest natures.

That was her political legacy. The once mighty defender of the kiwi battler crushed by an ego that was always a reflex punch.

If Judith Collins had fought for New Zealand half as much as she fought for herself, this country would be a better place by her hand.

She didn’t and it isn’t.

Conclusion:

The Key-Luxon conjoined twin pitch is Luxon for Leader and Key replacing Goodfellow as President. Together, puppet and master, will shoulder tap the next generation of alpha leaders to stand as a fresh new generation of right wing politicians vetted through a candidate academy.

It’s elitism on cocaine.

The problem is Luxon is utterly untested and already smells like Todd Muller.

I mean getting Key to do the phoning just looks so chinless doesn’t it?

The truth is Simon earned a second shot. He was gracious in defeat, wrote a book and continued to be one of their best performers.

Before Covid, National was neck and neck with Labour, and that was because Simon was pushing back all the time. He fought in the trenches and did the hard yards, to write his leadership off is a mistake.

Look I think Luxon would be a great Deputy and alongside a Maori National Leader embody the aspiration that National values.

The reality is that National are polling well in poorer electorates, Simon Bridges appeals to that electorate, a very religious rich CEO doesn’t.

Selecting Simon would be a means of healing the Muller fiasco while cauterizing Collins.

What Collins did by maliciously weaponizing MeToo shouldn’t be rewarded.

Luxon is looking mighty privileged and the perception is Key is buying the National Party.

Simon is battle tested, Luxon is not and there is one hell of a battle coming!

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