You couldn’t actually write a satire like this…
Taxpayers shelled out thousands of dollars transporting a dead turtle from Banks Peninsula to Wellington, storing it in a freezer for 21 months, then sending it back down to where it washed up for a high-powered and fully-catered powhiri.
The turtle even got a taxpayer-funded helicopter ride and a handmade coffin constructed by public servants. No scientific research was performed at any stage.
The total cost to taxpayers for Michelangelo’s eventful afterlife is difficult to quantify, but we’re placing it in the tens of thousands. Te Papa and DOC’s total reported expenses were $11,742.31, but that excludes the time cost for high-level salaried staff.
…when we can’t feed kids lunch and breakfast at school and can’t lift benefits but can spend $12000 on a turtle funeral, it’s difficult not to feel angry.
There are two dangers here, the first is the Taxpayers Union becoming relevant and the second is this fiasco is so ridiculous it’s mockable and the power of mockery can destroy any earnest progress in a millisecond.
The entire thing reads like a Taika Waititi film plot.
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