East Coast Bays worst electorate for Colin Craig to try and win


“Let me Baptize you” – Photo credit: Fairfax

Craig likely to contest East Coast Bays seat
Conservative Party leader Colin Craig is today expected to announce he will contest Murray McCully’s East Coast Bays seat in the September election.

East Coast Bays is possible the worst electorate for Colin to attempt to win, as I pointed out last week

East Coast Bays: Let’s do the math. Muzza got  21,094 votes last election, the drip they threw in for the Conservative Party got a mere 1614. Even if Muzza removes himself from the race, there is no guarantee that National voters would vote for Colin Craig in enough numbers to defeat the Labour candidate. 

The only way Colin can win East Coast Bays is if John Key personally threatens Murray McCully on pain of death to stand down and throw the electorate. The problem then becomes whether the blessed people of East Coast Bays are as open to manipulation as the cursed people of Epsom are.

There are two problem with throwing East Coast Bays. The first is that it means Colin Craig is a viable coalition partner for National meaning the National soft urban educated female vote will walk away in droves. Expect the Greens to jump in the polls.

The second problem with this tactics is that the blessed people of East Coast Bays may cringe at Colin Craig’s book burning form of religion and instead turn to the Labour candidate. As I pointed out last week

Here’s the twist though. If National are so desperate they pull their candidate in East Coast Bays (and it looks increasingly like McCully has lost a vast amount of power within National and looks like he can be pushed around far easier than Mark Mitchell can be pushed around – which in itself is an indictment of the lack of muscle McCully now has), Labour has a secret weapon – Greg Milner-White.

If Labour needed a beige Christian champion to rally the fine beige Christian voters of East Coast Bays, they couldn’t have prayed for a better candidate than Greg Milner-White. Deeply committed to his Christian community, Milner-White represents a less Conservative Party book burning style of religion to the more urbane East Coast Bays broad church.

After being so tricked and manipulated by National who will pull out their candidate at the last minute, a deeply unchristian thing to do I might add, the fine people of East Coast Bays may decide to select a leader more worthy of their faith than a moon landing denial chemtrail fruit loop.

Colin Craig is the hate crime against progressive politics that just keeps giving.  Unless Jesus himself is Colin Craig’s campaign manager, the Conservative Party don’t have a hope in hell.  A Colin Craig, Jamie Whyte, Peter Dunne & John Key government is the 7th sign in the Book of Revelations – the 4 dickheads of the apocalypse.



  1. What worries me more than this photograph of Colin Craig, is the fact that he is naked from the waist down, a la Calendar Girls.

    Instead of a strategically placed water-jug, or vegetable in the original CG film, Colin’s modesty is hidden by a strategically placed piece of grass.

    It’s going to take more than this doctored photograph to woo back to the right-bloc “the National soft urban educated female vote [who] will walk away in droves.”

    Still if Colin doesn’t win the seat, Murray will have a job for him, the same way he conjured up one for Shane Jones. Any suggestions what that job might be Muzza?

  2. Hey, Craig my name, I am on Cool Aide, that is for National, always there to come to their aid!”

    “Come and lie in the grass with me, I will cuddle up to you, dear John (the Keystone one, I mean)!”

    “I heard you hit it off with Barack in the White House gardens, looking at PRIVATE PARTS, wow, oooh, aaaahh, so cool and hot at the same time!”

    “Yes, thank you, John, for telling Murray where to go. That gives us the opportunity now, for a rendezvous, just you and me, and our parties behind us. It is called a great orgee-nisation, the greatest orgee-nisation of an election – of all times, what a political buzz for us, once we are in, that is after 20 September.”

    “I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I want to come – to come and meet you, dear John, let us hit it off now, we are on track.”

    “Colon (correct ‘Colin’) Dear”

  3. “When we’re in coalition together, Johnny, will you roll with me in the grass and SPANK me ??”

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