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  1. National leader pleads for puppeteers who can make his favourite back-up boy appear more life-like.

  3. “I have brought my trick the Woodlouse along with me, so I can get him to answer any thorny questions which might implicate me in any dodgy deals, giving the impression I’m deceitful and corrupt. You know, just as I do in the House!”

  4. Journalists Happy to Interview Life-size Cardboard Cutout of Key. “We’re used to taking the crap he spouts and spinning it into the the finely crafted propaganda the Hobbits lap up on a daily basis. So why bother interviewing the “real McCoy”, when we can do the job just as efficiently without him”, they gloated.

  5. There are three men in the picture. One is telling porkies, One is thinking porkies, the other well you know…………

  6. Micheal Woodhouse: My god if they believe that they’re dumber than I thought, listen to the master he really is good at this , that’s our boy johnny, when I grow up i’m gonna be jus like him…….

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