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  1. Look Mum how far my ideas stretch and how far I can go – there’s no stopping me. Those tutoring sessions you made me go to were a good investment Mater.

  2. I learnt these hand gestures from Trump when he was explaining my policies about ‘draining the swamp’.

  3. I’m here to give those brave, plucky, hard done by, little Ozzie battlers in the banking sector a hug…

  4. A firm that I have shares in has found a fishfood formula that will grow goldfish this big in no time at all. They must be eaten young though; they deteriorate quickly, lose their delicious flavour and appearance, then putrefy. They’ll be only for high class menus.

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