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You don’t appreciate the hole that Key has left in the National until you look at the cast of mutants who are now vying for his job. National without John Key is like a night out in Hamilton without alcohol or condoms – dull and terribly risky.

This vacant aspiration merchant, this bullying arsehole who saw only mirth in physically touching a young woman in her place of work, this war hawk, this dirty politics operator, this money man who borrowed billions for tax cuts while the poor struggled, this mass surveillance lying neoliberal sellout did one thing and one thing only in his entire 8 year role – what was best for John Key.