The 12 days of Christmas from the new National/ACT/NZFirst Government

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On the first day of Christmas,
My libertarian vampire gave to me
A handjob for the bourgeoise

On the second day of Christmas,
My libertarian vampire gave to me
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise.

On the third day of Christmas,
My libertarian vampire gave to me
Bosses right to sack,
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My libertarian vampire gave to me,
No Gaza ceasefire,
Bosses right to sack,
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my libertarian vampire gave to me
Contrived Boomer things,
No Gaza ceasefire,
Bosses right to sack,
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my libertarian vampire gave to me
No Māori speaking,
Contrived Boomer things,
No Gaza ceasefire,
Bosses right to sack,
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my libertarian vampire gave to me
Rivers too polluted for swimming,
No Māori speaking,
Contrived Boomer things,
No Gaza ceasefire,
Bosses right to sack,
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise.

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On the eighth day of Christmas,
my libertarian vampire gave to me
10 000 cows milking,
Rivers too polluted for swimming,
No Māori speaking,
Contrived Boomer things,
No Gaza ceasefire,
Bosses right to sack,
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my libertarian vampire gave to me
Feral Cookers dancing,
10 000 cows milking,
Rivers too polluted for swimming,
No Māori speaking,
Contrived Boomer things,
No Gaza ceasefire,
Bosses right to sack,
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my libertarian vampire gave to me
Greedy Landlords a-leaping,
Feral Cookers dancing,
10 000 cows milking,
Rivers too polluted for swimming,
No Māori speaking,
Contrived Boomer things,
No Gaza ceasefire,
Bosses right to sack,
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my libertarian vampire gave to me
Winston Peters media bribing,
Greedy Landlords a-leaping,
Feral Cookers dancing,
10 000 cows milking,
Rivers too polluted for swimming,
No Māori speaking,
Contrived Boomer things,
No Gaza ceasefire,
Bosses right to sack,
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my libertarian vampire gave to me
Tesla subsidy bumming,
Winston Peters media bribing,
Greedy Landlords a-leaping,
Feral Cookers dancing,
10 000 cows milking,
Rivers too polluted for swimming,
No Māori speaking,
Contrived Boomer things,
No Gaza ceasefire,
Bosses right to sack,
No Fair Pay,
And a handjob for the bourgeoise!

Season’s Greeting everyone!

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10 COMMENTS

  1. Humbug, Bah Humbug Martyn, thanks for putting a smile on our Faces with your sardonic, black humour this past year, if you didn’t laugh you’d have to cry over what this Country has got to look forward to under these bastards for the next 3 yrs? It’s a Black comedy we are living but you do it with a comedic touch while delivering a hard hitting message that we all need to hear & heed & that is, we must resist & fight back against these Neoliberal deathcult Capitalist swines & turn up the heat to make life as difficult as we can for them to thwart their nefarious plans, if they want a Race War, a Culture war & a War against Renters & Workers, we’ll fucking give them one? Dark times are ahead for all of us, not just the poor & proletariat class, but the Middle class who bought National’s bullshit Election promises that don’t stack up & never could & they know it! We all stand to suffer under the most catastrophic Right wing, lunatic Govt ever elected in NZ History who are seeking to do the sort of damage that will take decades to fix, just think of the mess National made of the Country last time they were in Govt & multiple it 10 fold? My fear is even if Labour or the Left did win the next Election, the damage left behind by Luxon’s arsonists will be so great that it’s beyond repair? Kiwis are in for a helluva 3 yrs to endure the NACTZI, Winston First, Neoliberal Clownshow Coalition, we will suffer a economic version of Gaza’s destruction, with the Collective punishment of the poor, the indiscriminate targeting of this group but WE DON’T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT, Protest & Civil disobedience can derail their Agenda? The Natz are so predictable, they practice the time honoured Anglo Saxon model of divide & conquer which involves choosing a scapegoat or scapegoats, a group, usually one that cannot fight back, to demonise & blame while they commit their ideological bonfire agenda of cut & gut Social services to further enrich their people, the Elite Big Dairy, Big Business & Landlord class via massive Tax cuts! The one shining light is that this Global, Western, Neoliberal Capitalism model is in its deathroes, the US centric Financial System based on endless money printing & Debt is in collapse around the World! America’s Proxy War failure in Ukraine & its suicidal support of Israel in the Middle East point to a major Geopolitical shift away from the US & the West by the Global Majority who are fed up with the British/US Imperial model of Neoliberal theft & plunder, it’s coming to a end, a Multipolar World is emerging & a new Financial architecture is being created to bypass the USD, via BRICS & if NZ had any brains we would hitch our wagon to this & not the dying Hegemony of the Brit/US Empire but it won’t happen under this Rightwing Govt, we will get dragged down with the rest of the West? “A Patriot must always be ready to defend his Country against his Government ”-Edward Abbey? This should be our War cry against this mongrel Luxon Loser Govt!

    • Good summary Antforce, not a pretty future for most of us, but remember the poor know how to get trough, they’ve managed to survive for decades. The middle class Latte brigade are probably going to wonder what has struck them. Tough times ahead indeed.

  2. So let’s see in the new year and further. Who is the better neoliberal government at trickle-down economics?
    The Centre-Right Labour & gweens, and Mowree party or the Right of the center-right political parties when in government.

    With the recession already here, massive unemployment of 11.2% which has been here for ages and CPI at 6%+ YoY, Inflation running at 5.9% YoY.

    And with 1987s Labour-Roger Douglas’s ‘User-Pays’ tax system about to kick in again. All I can say is Happy fuckn NY NZ. You bought it…

    How do you

      • CPI is the change in the cost of things whereas inflation is the price of G&S’s taking into account the loss or increase in the buying power of the NZD compared to that basket of fiat currencies.

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