The New Government – Winners, Losers & Predictions


Christopher Luxon, David Seymour and Winston Peters walk into a bar.

The Barman looks up and says, “What its this? A joke?”

After 40 days and 40 nights wandering in the wilderness, the most awkward political threesome in NZ has finally managed to finalise their pissing competition to sign a coalition Government deal.

This Hard Right Racist Government is a buffet of dead rats that has been concocted by a toxic brew of Boomer grievances, redneck ignorance and vested corporate interests.

This Government has all the charm of a road accident involving baby lambs.

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The naked venality of what is being proposed by taking from the poor to give to the rich is  the final vandalism of New Zealand Egalitarianism.

God defend NZ, because the voters sure as fuck didn’t.

There are of course political winners and political losers.



Judith Collins – Wait – what – Judith Collins as the Attorney General Minister AND Minister of GCSB and NZSIS???

Jesus fucking wept! No one as ruthless, dangerous and manipulative as Judith Collins should ever be allowed anywhere near the Intelligence Apparatus! It’s like giving an arsonist a flame thrower and a subscription to Burn Porn! She is the most unsuited human being for that level of power and if ANYTHING keeps you up at night, it should be Judith Collins as the Minister for Spooks!

I heavily criticised Andrew Little for quitting and allowing all of the reform and expansion of the Intelligence Agencies to have so little check and balance by arguing he had left all the moving parts for a Police State to be assembled by whoever took the job under National.


She is an utterly inappropriate person with a long history of abusing power to be handed so much power.

That Judith Collins will now be the Master of Spies should scare the shit out of everyone.

There must be some kind of way outta here
Said the joker to the thief

Winston Peters – The suave silver fox of NZ politics has conned his way back into the hen house by appealing directly to the feral antivaxx lunatic fringe and climate denier electorate and it’s been just enough to hold the country to ransom for his list of petty culture war bullshit. Minister of Pork Barrels Shane Jones gets his $1.2billion slush fund and Winston gets Foreign Minister perks and is also the Racing Minister, an industry endlessly donating to NZ First. NZ First is like a bad case of chlamydia that never goes away.  The best part of Winston being the new Foreign Minister? He is now Trevor Mallards Boss, the same Trevor Mallard who attempted to trespass Winston from Parliament.


Culture War Boomer is coming for you.

Culture War Boomers – The Culture war Boomers will be thrilled their God Winston is back. Hilariously Jacinda saved 20 000 of them from early deaths with the covid lock down and they have rewarded her by voting for Winston. NZ First is little more than a list of Boomer grievances handed out before the early bird dinner meal discount at Cobb and Co.

Feral Antivaxxers – They get a grandstanding inquiry into their hurt feelings and will attempt to shit on everyone’s collective Covid sacrifice to inject quack science and hollow fringe arguments. Will probably end up arguing public health can be closed down if every citizen gets a healing crystal.

Redneck racists – Will be joyful that NZ First and ACT intend to purge all Government legislation of any reference to Māori and co-governance. It will be the largest razing of culture since the burning of the Library in Alexandria.

Spooks – No one reeks more of being a spook than ex cop, former corporate lobbyist and antiMāori campaigner than Casey Costello. She is the Deep State’s representative in Parliament. Watch her like a hawk.

I’m Captain Icarus and I’m going to drive this plane like a chariot into the sun!

David Seymour – Went from the 3rd largest party to the 4th largest. Used the culture war ammunition the woke handed to him more effectively than anyone and is currently mutating from fringe politician who pulls desperate political stunts for attention to implement racist policy to a sober warrior poet statesman who has pulled desperate political stunts for attention to implement racist policy. Great transition. Will get to amputate the State for right wing performative art purposes.


Gun Lobby – Can’t believe their luck that submachine guns will once again be able to get into as many hands as possible.

Privatisation Agenda – Every consultant wanting less regulation and more juicy public private contracts are rejoicing at this win. We can already see anyone who donated to National are now in a conga line for a tsunami of crony capitalism the likes of which we’ve never seen before.

…National’s conflicts of interest are about to make all Labour’s collective sins look like child’s play. We will yearn for the day Stuart Nash sent Cabinet briefings as the highest point of ethical standards in comparison.


Landlords – Get their tax loop holes and right to throw tenants onto the street. No more state housing builds means more desperation in the housing market.

Tobacco Lobby – Unbelievably the Tobacco Industry gets a reprieve from Smoke Free 2025 in an outrageous abuse of public health!


Corporate Farmers – The corporate farmers win again! After rigging the entire political system to empower them and their profit margins no matter the cost to our environment or  geopolitical safety, the corporate farmers have managed to put off doing anything meaningful on emissions for another fucking 5 years! When you consider Helen Clark first called for emission reductions in 2003,  Corporate Farmers have managed to prevent any changes for 25 years now! That is an incredible feat of political manipulation and fuckwittery. All hail the Golden Cow we slavishly worship in NZ! Remember, whatever the problem, the NZ solution is MORE COWS!

Bank Oligopoly and Supermarket Duopoly – The powerful who shape our under regulated capitalism are safe because National builds monopolies, they don’t break them. ACT and National want to gut MBIE who are the only Department that polices our under regulated capitalism so the rich win. Again.

Para-military policing – The need to make some stupid symbolic gesture against da gangs will require a level of para-military policing that will quickly fuck up and make things immeasurably worse. Banning gang patches is such. basic bitch idea that won’t stop any crime whatsoever.

Karen Chhour – That a former ward of the State who was abused while under State Care will now have some oversight on our damaged child care services is a moment to salute no matter the political background. We should all wish Karen luck in trying to force our system to not damage the very children they are supposed to protect.

Homebake meth industry – ACT have decided to give the homemake meth industry a boost by allowing the precursor drug for meth to be sold over the counter. You can’t say ACT don’t support small business owners.


Mike King getting $6m for his I am Hope trust:

Mike is hated by the Wellington Bureaucracy for highlighting their incompetence and making them look like the callous wankers they are.

Mike is offering counselling services at a fraction of the price that the Wellington Bureaucracy offers and because he’s done such an excellent job of exposing their vested interests, he was never going to ever receive any money for his proposals under Labour because Labour were gutless cowards who had no capacity to force the Wellington Bureaucracy to engage meaningfully with Mike because they are too frightened to bring tasers to the sensitive parts of the Wellington Bureaucracy to compel them to be transformative!



DEAD MAN WALKING – look at the face on Luxon – 3 more years of these 2 champ

Christopher Luxon – Like his hero Jesus, Luxon has allowed himself to be ritualistically humiliated and crucified by Winston so that he could return from the dead to form a Government. He looks like a frightened virgin at an orgy. His tactics during the negotiating process were deeply flawed and he is clearly out of his depth. Luxon was supposed to be the great deal maker. The internal rage within National’s High Command at how he has mishandled the entire negotiation process has opened enormous private concerns about his ability to do the job, indeed the only reason Winston and David are 100% certain they are signing up to this is because they’ve witnessed Luxon’s incompetence first hand and know they can run rings around him and get more by exploiting him than they ever dreamed possible. Possibly the weakest National Party Leader ever in NZ history.


Labour, Greens, Māori Party and the Political Left – Have all been collectively whipped and destroyed. Have blogged on what they need to do now here.


Woke Middle Class Identity Activists – After handing so much culture war ammunition to the Right, our woke middle class identity activists literally drove male voters into the arms of the political right. In woke Wellington world, ALL white men are irredeemable cross burning racists, B-E-L-I-E-V-E ALL women that ALL men are rapists and anyone defending free speech is a uniform wearing Nazi who hates the trans community. Turns out that identity politics mentality alienates rather than brings together. ‘Pure Trans Joy’ probably helped cost us the election. Well done wokies. Well done.


Climate Change – National/ACT/NZ First are a climate denial Government who will do all they can to allow polluters to do what they want to keep profiting from their pollution. The planet will burn while Luxon makes loves to a cow, the planet will boil while David Seymour decries climate alarmism and the planet will melt as Winston mumbles about gambling and cigarette taxes. We are fucked on the climate change front for a full 3 years until these lunatics get thrown out.

NZ National Party – Fighting for colonialism since 1840

Māori – Are about to become a political punching bag for 3 years as NZ First and ACT legislate a new Treaty and remove any mention of co-governance or the Treaty in all NZ legislation. This will set race relations back 183 years.


Beneficiaries – No one ever lost votes bashing beneficiaries and when National wasn’t blowing the real estate industry, they were bashing beneficiaries. All the punitive measures about to be launched against our sickest and weakest will be the blueprint adopted to privatise welfare. Outside agencies will be paid a bonus when shifting beneficiaries off the list and that can be done two ways, 1) if you find them a job or 2) – you cut them off for some bullshit infraction on their ridiculous work ready conditions. Expect an enormous suffering to come out of this.

Drug addicts and disabled – Not content to bash beneficiaries, ACT wanted to target drug addicts and the disabled as well and have promised terrible retribution for their ‘welfare fraud’. White collar criminals who take billions each year however will receive a free pass.

Renters with Pets – Weird policy win for ACT that now forces renters with pets to pay a pet bond. Renters don’t have enough to pay for the rents, where the hell they find the extra money for a pet bond is beyond me. Why punish renters with pets? Even for ACT this feels nasty.


Public Services – When Winston kills off National’s lifting of the foreign buyers ban, National’s entire economic house of cards collapses requiring mass public service cut backs, which will be funny because even if Winston greens lights it, it can never raise enough revenue to prevent National from slashing public services.

Public Transport – National will mutilate public transport just as oil prices are about to skyrocket due to the looming war in the Middle East.

Workers – Bosses to gain back the right to fire and scrap the Fair Pay Agreements which were the most substantial workers rights legislation passed in the last 40 years.

Renters – Landlords to gain the right to evict, social housing builds will stop and Landlords will gain enormous powers as rental regulations are all rolled back.

Children in poverty – Officially the position now is, ‘Fuck em’.

Prisoners – Are about to have their underfunded, corrupt and violent prisons jammed full to the point of prison riot with zero rehabilitation whatsoever. Expect ACT to call for private prisons.


New Zealand – Ultimately the biggest losers are New Zealand. NONE of ACT’s, Nationals or NZ First policy will provide well thought out consequences.

This wasn’t an election, it was a grudge fuck!

With a 78.4% turnout, so it was lower than 2017 when Labour barely won.

That’s over a million who could have voted but didn’t.

That’s a heavy rejection of the options presented.

An embittered and angry electorate wanted to hurt Labour and voted accordingly, Labour didn’t help by being hopelessly incompetent.  The poorest amongst us will fund a tax cut to rich landlords while the most vulnerable from beneficiaries, state house tenants, prisoners, drug addicts, the working classes and the disabled are all going to face insufferable and punitive sanctions.

A National/ACT/NZ First Government will only serve to compound counter productive policy that will deform, punish and mutate those stereotypes the Right despise and used to whip up the worst angels of our nature.

We are a poorer people for this Government.



This election wasn’t won, it was bought by private interests manipulating your anger at post Covid bitterness.

I’m not pissed that the Right won, that’s democracy, I’m pissed they won with such vapid and venal policy!

This knee jerk crap alongside counterproductive punitive measures alongside Real Estate Lobbyist wet dreams combine to vandalize the Egalitarian State

Taking from the poor to give to the rich ain’t my bag baby and we are a collectively worse nation for this outcome

The only thing that warms the cynical black splinter of what is left of my heart is the thought of Winston, Seymour and Luxon all having to work together.

If that’s ‘winning’, losing don’t feel so bad

If this Government were a fable, it would be a scorpion riding on a fox’s face sitting in the open jaws of a great white shark.

If you think this arranged marriage of inconvenience can last 3 years, you also believe in National’s rock solid foreign buyers tax revenue numbers and think climate change is a hoax!

Luxon claimed Māori, Labour and Greens were the ‘coalition of chaos’, well, here’s their  ‘Alliance of Arseholes’.

This Government has formed because the election was a grudge fuck against Labour, all that binds them is a shared glee to beat the bejesus out of beneficiaries, prisoners and gang members. This is the worst of us as a country congealed in a venal self interest that would make your average drug cartel blush.

We now can see the full hard right racist agenda of this Government and the obscene direction they intend to take for their political donors.

This fight against the most right Government ever elected will demand a level of resistance that crosses into civil disobedience because it will require mass civil disobedience protests to fight this Government’s hard right racist agenda.

They will be a dreadful Government for a dreadful people.

This is what we is now. This is us.

Old Zealand wins. New Zealand loses.

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  1. Other losers:
    1). Gangs – Will get a good kicking from a resurgent Mr Plod.
    2). WHO/WEF/UN – With Winston in government will now longer be able to drag NZ around by the curlies. There won’t be any smug side meetings with Uncle Klaus at APEC anymore.
    3). Tribal Elite – Going from Buffet – all you can eat; to scraps under the table.
    4). Local Authorities – this new government isn’t going to suffer their collective incompetence.
    5). Woke corporate welfare – bye bye – suck on your own tits.


    6). MSM – the impotent rage at not being privy to the negotiations was enjoyable particularly Burr and Lynch. Will only get nastier when the realize the gig is up and they have to do their job and not spoon fed narratives. Some like Stuff will probably go under.

  2. Profit not compassion seems to be the way decisions are made with the coalition in power, personal profit is obviously the most important thing in making decisions & my His story book says it will end badly ”
    For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”

    • Bonnie. The message of the Sermon on the Mount is infinitely superior to the deplorable mindset which decreed Trevor Mallard a diplomat and an authentic representative of our people.

  3. Bomber makes a lot about Luxon and “his hero Jesus”. I wonder if Luxon’s hero was Mohammed whether Bomber would be so mocking.

    • Haaaa, is that a rhetorical question Truthbomb?
      I think everyone knows the answer, Christians are fair game and mock Muslims at your own peril (it’s the religion of peace doncha know!)

      • Christians are fair game because they are the idiots that have a lot to answer for in this country They are the tax dodging free loaders. By the way “I’m Right” the IDF, and the god bothering nut jobs in the US that kill shit loads of people through meaningless bomb fests, are not f’ing Muslims.

          • Bob, all I’m right has proven is that people don’t engage their brains before spouting off. What is “peaceful “ about the supposed Christians I mentioned ? It’s a bit rich mocking the Muslims about being peaceful. Both camps have their zealots who do represent the thoughts of the majority. PS the Muslims are just as misguided in their beliefs as the Christians if that helps.

  4. So no change from the last 6 years of government then.

    How did the Labour party government fuck up there chance to make NZ a better place. They got drunk by drinking their own piss and by believing their own bs cooked up in a bubble somewhere.

    Don’t worry. Someone will save NZ, maybe?

    • @Den.
      “How did the Labour party government fuck up there chance to make NZ a better place. They got drunk by drinking their own piss and by believing their own bs cooked up in a bubble somewhere.”
      The Labour party, the iteration we like to believe in, never really existed at all or if it did, it didn’t for long.
      Two questions; If labour did exist then where did it go? Answer. [It] got lured down into a political/privateer swamp where it was drowned and buried. Roger Douglas waited within Labour as a two term finance minister leading up to Lange quitting after Douglas gathered about him a gaggle of greedy confederates with the smell of free farmer money in their nostrils . From that moment, Labour stopped being the Labour we knew as being and became, instead, a wing of the Far Right which governs our politics today.
      Prior to Douglas and his cronies, now rich beyond our wildest imaginings as we tremble with our lotto tickets while standing before that most foul beast, the Tee Vee we had a Labour Party of sorts. [It] worked well enough to provide shelter for the workers and allowed our primary industry farmers reasonable access to the markets who were howling for our agrarian produce but Labour was a very, very naughty little politic, even back then. By the time the 60s became the 70s there were already parasites hanging off the withered tits of old cockies and as the load upon load of parasites became ever heavier our farming infrastructure started to bend under the weight of all those opportunists who all wanted a suck on the tit. ( Enter the age of the agri-factory producing milk products to sell to support the cringe worthy fertility of our Chinese neighbours. Deals done by dirty Kiwi traitors. Aye boys?)
      In short. A few crooks have exploited our primary industry to a point of destruction. Where our farmers were farming sustainably and holistically there are now people pouring chemicals on the land to amp up production to supply a voracious greed and I dare not even think about the next ten years.
      The now four foreign owned banks, themselves populated by share holders keen on that new Tesla, will be driving the corporate exec’s to exceed what the planet can’t cope with now.
      At current primary industry vector, I see dead people. I also see other people owning our AO/NZ.
      Words of advice from an old farmer.
      You lovely city people. Get rid of your debt. Down-size, move, build… do what ever you can to clear your debts. Unite as farmers should. Tell your councils what’s fucking what. NOT the other way around. They’re your servants and you’re not their bitches.
      I have a house in the country too. It’s a beautiful old place surrounded by flowers and trees and birdies and sundry wee beasties. The local council Ol Boy scum bag bullies built a $20 million dollar ‘community centre’ The result of that pointless ego-fest and the rapacious greed that went hand in hand with it was that my rates, along with everyone else’s, doubled.
      You awesome farmers. Unite. Forget about everything else and group together. Unite. Unite. Unite.
      ” You strength is in your unity, your danger is in discord. ” Unite. Form a compulsory union. Mandate unionism. Before lambing, after hay making, before cropping, after sowing, before you convert to milking, after you realise what a fucking awful business it is once you realise you’re just a cog in an international slavers wheel while your animals pollute the soils and groundwater.
      Unite. Only then can you say you’re free.

    • TOP had what 1 maybe 2 decent policies, the rest were not attractive enough to gain any support.
      But nice to see you still flying their flag….maybe next time eh?

    • One of the contradictions of capitalism is that capitalists need buyers or consumers. If consumer purchasing power is substantially reduced who gunna buy dere stuff?…

      Basic Income is a partial way around that if capitalism is to be continued…obviously if AI and other factors create mass unemployment another economic model is needed. Eco Socialism.

      • “One of the contradictions of capitalism is that capitalists need buyers or consumers. If consumer purchasing power is substantially reduced who gunna buy dere stuff?…”

        And the problem is, your average ‘good economic manager’ capitalist “leader” – such as the Head Gurl, or even the Flea has lost the ability to think too far ahead. In many cases an egonometer shows an extremely high reading.

        And I’d agree with @CB to the extent that the best thing for people to do is to get rid of debt (personal debt). Don’t owe nobody nuttin.
        Well I agree with @CB on a lot of things except a lot of those “good economic managers” would be better off with massive doses of estrogen rather than MDMA. Most of the blokes have got big tits, massive arses and pregnant pot bellies anyway

        • Yep, be as self sufficient as possible, with as little debt as is achievable.

          Lot of new gens just live a different lifestyle now rather than racking up debt in the form of thumping great 4 Bank mortgages or car loans.

  5. Winston definitely a winner. Leader of the fifth-largest of the six parties in parliament, yet gets to be deputy PM.

    Nice to see ACT already bringing back something that went in 2020. Parmjeet-fucking-Parmar.

  6. Having an inside agent for the CCP Chinese Criminal Party is the last thing NZ needs in charge of our nation’s security services.

  7. Anker is a traitor to the working class. I will ensure that she regrets voting for a party that will wipe out wages and conditions and take us back to the Victorian ara because of her prudish homophobia

    • Millsy, And how will you ‘ensure she regrets’?… posting fucking nonsense on here as normal, yes that’ll teach her eh!?
      Even some of the lefties on here are distancing themselves from your posts.

      • Your posts are fucking hilarious I’m tight, most on here know you just talk shit. You best stick to the new Whale Oil site, it’s your bread and butter. How do I know this to be true your idiot brother Bob supports you.

  8. Climate mitigation is definitely one of the big losers:
    “Governments will not make required changes to energy policies based on theoretical threats – there must be sufficient emperical evidence of harm to force action.” Quoted in Nature Bats Last.
    NACTNZF government is infested with climate deniers. They will be reactive rather then proactive. Only after the floods . . . droughts . . . storms . . . sea level rises etc will they be forced to do anything and that, a la the ChCh response, will be too little, too late!
    In other words – we’re f****d. And don’t give me that ‘we’re too small to make a difference’ BS -we should be leading, as we have so often in other fields.

  9. Jesus! I feel the need to write things on walls.
    The Middle Stooge has just been ‘sworn in’ as… well…. what exactly?
    Is this book a prophecy? Is it!?
    Paul Lynch’s timely Booker winner is a novel written to jolt the reader awake
    Justine Jordan
    “Prophet Song imagines an Ireland under fascist control, breaking through the it-couldn’t-happen-here complacency of western societies”
    “With Paul Lynch’s Prophet Song, the judges have chosen perhaps the most timely and urgent book on the shortlist – a novel explicitly plugged into global strife and political tectonic forces. But it’s also the very intimate, elemental story of one woman’s love for her family, and her desperate attempts to hold on to the immediate world around her in the face of rising chaos.”
    Sound familiar?

  10. Biggest winner : THE WESTMINSTER SYSTEM.

    A 19th century political and judicial system designed to turn every aspiring politician into their best impersonation of an old white guy subservient to the British Monarchy.

  11. Well at least we know now that all the migrants that wish to come to NZ, need to tick the box that says “at least a pack a day”. They’ll be allowed in automatically

    • People don’t want to be New Zealanders. They just want to live here and like politicians, they’ll say whatever it takes to get in.

      Yeah yeah, pledge allegiance to the King, God defend New Zealand. Bloody Maoris are ruining this country. There’s a good kiwi…

      They want this country to belong to them without belonging to it. Here’s the thing, if you don’t see Aotearoa/NZ as a Pasifikan Nation, you don’t belong here !

  12. The Labour NPCs at The Standard have it sorted:
    It’s because the voters weren’t intelligent enough to correct-vote.
    I wish I was joking.

    I think it’s going to be a long time in the wilderness, if it’s ok with wheel and any other anti religious bigots to use a biblical reference?

    • Ah the real turd polisher, KCC. Are you triggered by someone being over all these people who sh*t on other people in the name of the Lord? The IDF, the US Taliban types, the Taliban, and any other zealot, be it Muslim or otherwise. Don’t get me started on tax breaks for the brethren’s and weetbix pushers of the world. Religious population control groups and God are two entirely different propositions.

      • Sounding bigotty to this non religious person wheel.
        I’ve more time for actual religion because it incorporates forgiveness and doing unto others, than the woke cult of bigotry and othering you appear to subscribe to.

        • Forgiveness from KKC, now that’s hypocritical. You could start with yourself, for being such a dick.

  13. c’mon down nz time to join the 3rd world…how many brexshit nutters have been imported roped in to assist the nats?

    • As many as the are japie rats leaving their sinking shit hole of a country to stir shit up here.

  14. It could be worse, they could repeal the smokefree policy and go back to the 2 billion cost a year, all the while not replacing public health servants when they leave. Actually, it doesn’t get any worse, so back to the dark days of 2008-2017. Repealing a policy that will save lives and costs to the health system all to fund tax cuts.
    Surely even some of the righties are distancing themselves from this appalling policy.

  15. Is it right for Casey Castello to be a Minister for Police when she is an active member of the Hobsons Choice group. I believe she has a conflict of interest as this group has negative Māori and anti-TOW views.
    She is in the same group as Winstone when it comes to Māori not being indigenous not the right choice for a police minister.

  16. ” Possibly the weakest National Party Leader ever in NZ history ”

    But he is ambitious for NZ Bomber , a marketing term used by the shyster 2008-16 to distract attention and create a homely image for the public while he and his gangsters ran this country for their own financial benefit.

    This is the sequel part two and its just getting started.

  17. ” Labour, Greens, Māori Party and the Political Left – Have all been collectively whipped and destroyed. Have blogged on what they need to do now here ”

    Transform is a new political party in the U.K representing real left policies and standing against cruelty and oppression which is currently being waged against the Palestinians by the U.S and Israel and is filling the vacuum left by the New Labour Neo liberal party led by Starmer.

    Bomber its time we did the same.

    ” 13 years of Conservative rule has left our country scarred by poverty and inequality. We want them out just as much as the next person, but we don’t want them replaced with a Tory tribute act. Just like the Tories, Labour opposes a full ceasefire in Gaza, doesn’t support strikes, rejects nationalisation, refuses to defend refugees, and won’t scrap student fees – or even the two-child benefit cap ”

    ” The British people can’t afford more of the same. We need a new kind of politics, one that provides meaningful solutions to climate change, the cost of living explosion, the erosion of democracy and the spread of war: challenging the system at the root of every crisis we face. ”

    ” At our founding conference this weekend hundreds of us will begin to build a real alternative to the political status quo. We can’t wait to get started ”

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