The 6 different stories Saudi Arabia has given us to explain butchering a journalist
Ok, so let’s just see if we can keep up with Saudi Arabia’s ever changing story regarding the death of Washington Post Journalist, Jamal Khashoggi.
1: Khashoggi is not dead, he walked out of the embassy after he had finished his business and we have no idea where he is now. Such accusations are an affront to the great people of Saudi Arabia.
2: On reflection and amid growing allegations, it is clear to the Saudi Arabian moderate Government (who have really pulled back on public crucifixions) that Khashoggi has gone missing, but the great people of Saudi Arabia have no idea where he is and any suggestion otherwise is an insult.
3: The reforming democratic Government of the great Saudi Arabian people accept that Khashoggi is actually dead. Recordings of him screaming wildly as he is chopped up certainly points in the direction of being deceased.
4: The fair and woke Government of Saudi Arabia have now bravely declared that Khashoggi is in fact dead but we are swearing in front of Allah and clean oil that we had nothing to do with his death.
5: Ok, look, Khashoggi is dead, however it appears a rogue team of hired killers with direct links to the Royal family secretly snuck out of the country and accidentally killed him after he slipped and fell 30 times, but the progressive green Government of Saudi Arabia had nothing to do with this. Yes the planes are ours, but bloody kids these days right? Stealing the commercial jet when Dad’s not looking, we’ll handle this and you can bet your bottom dollar someone is going to get grounded.
6: Ummm. So it does appear that not only is Khashoggi dead but we, the fourth wave feminist allied Saudi Arabian Government , actually might have been completely responsible for this but, but, it was all a misunderstanding and we accidentally chopped him up while he was alive. It happens, we are actually the victims here, this has all been emotionally draining.
Ridding our dependence on oil is worth doing if for nothing else than being able to erect double middle fingers to The House of Saud. Not to mention their relentless promotion of Wahhabism for over 30 years, which our leaders never dare critique so as not to offend followers of “The Great Religion of Pieces”.
“accidenally brutally cut his head off while shaving”.
Nice Blackadder reference (although I think it was “while combing his hair”?). My favourite from that same episode was:
“One voter, 16,472 votes. A slight anomaly…?”
Answered by Blackadder with:
“Not really, Mr. Hanna – you see, Baldrick may look like a monkey who’s been put in a suit and then strategically shaved, but he is a brilliant politician. The number of votes I cast is simply a reflection of how firmly I believe in his policies.”
We aren’t even allowed to kill our cows and sheep like how Kashoggi was killed. We have to kill the animal before we start cutting it up (humanely) unlike how the Saudis butchered one of their own and are now trying to back peddle. Shows the young saudi leaders is a very dark and dangerous man.
khashoggi had a fight with something sharp enough to cut him into pieces jeesz the Saudis are looking sordid and stupid.