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  1. Winston Churchill was a great leader, and famously had a black dog, so this’ll be like Jonkey saying he’d be PM when he grew up, won’t it. And can you please photoshop the lead to blue?

  2. “Come, come, meet my cute and very loyal puppy named Jay Kay. Isn’t he lovely!”

  3. Corrections extends its dog training programme to include MPs. Must not be rabid in order to qualify…

  4. Collins keen to try new dog recipe. Ethnic diversity an important part of her politics…

  5. The well-heeled dainty lady in black gets down humbly on her knees to pop the quintessential perennial question.

  6. (thinks) Yeah I’ll ‘stay’ for the photo with the creepy lady boss – but you owe me a truckload of meaty bites and two months of frisbee golf.

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