Political Caption Competition – Don Brash and Winston Peters at lunch
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“Winston, my friend, you are getting somewhat stale in your old age. I am offering myself to NZ First, I will be a fresh leader, I will leave Maori in peace and concentrate on the Asian invasion, I will increase the party’s showing in the polls by 15%. Just go quietly.”
“My hands are getting rather rough pruning kiwi fruit. They need to be smooth so I can successfully pursue my natural instincts with all those clamouring female power junkies.”
“So Don – it’s all about trusts. What can you tell me?”
“Winston – please look! Is that Bradley Ambrose?”
“Yes Don – I would like to know just how corrupt John Key is”
“Yes Don – your cell will have a basin so you can wash your undies. Please don’t keep asking”
“Is he your guy or my guy, this 3rd person sitting at the table”?
“Or is he secretly recording and we haven’t noticed him”?
“Winston I am the emissary from the National big wigs with a top secret message for you”
“Ok, shoot”
“They are making an offer you can not refuse easily”
“Ok, I am all ears”
“Here is the deal. If you promise to join the National government coalition after the next election, they will offer you the Prime Minister post at least for one term. What say you?”
” Um, that is interesting. Very interesting indeed!”
“So is that an Yes or No?”
“You know Don, I can’t possibly comment until after the election. It has ALWAYS been my public stance all along, as you know. Just let them know it is an interesting offer. We will leave it at that for now”
“Ok, Ok, I get it. Cool. cool. Let us drink our warm Darjeeling cuppa now and shake hands on it”
“Ok, in memory of Key of Wall street and Hawaii, USA, let us include the Tax Payer’s chap here too and do a vigorous three-some happy handshake”
All three laugh. Ha, ha ha!
Crime scene cordonned off…
“Winston, as you know I’m really big on this “Iwi vs Kiwi” racially divisive stuff. I mean, wow, it’s a real hit with the rednecks out there. But you see, this is where our relationship gets a bit awkward ‘cos……….I didn’t actually realise until my advisor here told me you were………errrr………you know………..Maori”.
The two dementia suffering cunning oldies don’t even remember when and where this hush-hush meeting took place or what they quietly discussed.
“I thought I was meeting with Key when they said I’d be meeting someone brash”
brash1
braʃ/Submit
adjective
self-assertive in a rude, noisy, or overbearing way.
“he was brash, cocky, and arrogant”