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  1. Middle-aged homeless man thrilled to receive plonk from blind trust vineyard investor.

  6. as a ventriloquist Key didnt even have to be in the same room or country as Hosking for his voice to be heard.

  7. “John Key gave me two bottles of wine by way of an apology for … I don’t want to talk about it.”

  9. I’ll say whatever you want me to say, John, but I’m not drinking this shit.

  10. People say I sold my soul – well, so what. Look at what selling your soul can get you. I’ve got a nice car, more hair products than I could possibly understand how to use, and I just got given this lovely bottle of vinegar.

  13. The final of “New Zealand’s Biggest Wanker” is down to the last two contestants.

  14. Just hold on tight to that bottle Mike
    I’ll pinch your bum so they can’t see me fondling your locks

  15. John Key, who cultivates obscene mouthpieces as he strives for domination of the gullible unthinking masses, in the obligatory photo op with a well remunerated, un-prepossessing example, who exhibits contemptible intolerance of underprivileged, activists, academics, intellectuals, and any suspiciously opposed to neoliberalism.

  16. ” We think we fooled them all yet again, lets toast our success ”

    ” Two fools getting drunk on BS and greed – we’ll need another bottle “

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