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  1. Bishop: The economy is going down the toilet. Company liquidations are up 40% year to date. Tens of thousands of young NZ citizens are leaving. Unemployment is rising, up 33000 on last year, and we expect our tax take to plummet.
    We really should not have given those costly tax cuts, and the tax breaks to landlords and the smoke companies but Nicola wanted to keep her job, and we couldn’t upset our donors.
    As a result we need to cut state house builds and infrastructure spend to the bone, however the good news is we will keep our donor demanded roads in the budget of course.
    Shane: Get me out of here. I’ll go anywhere. Even Te Puke.

  2. SR: We’re meeting our KPI’s left right and centre.
    For patients with minor ailments, I keep some leeches in my left pocket.
    For more complex issues, I keep a magic wand in my right pocket.
    For intractable ailments I position myself behind patients on the freeway and shove them into fast moving traffic, and that tends to clear up almost anything without fail.

    1. Effective if it results in donated spare organs – killing two birds with one stone. Hah hah.

  3. “ There’s nothing to stop the sick and ailing of Otago and Southland from having medical insurance, taking responsibility for themselves, and being treated privately. All gonna die sooner or later anyway.”

  4. “ If everyone ate healthy crayfish like my staffers do, they’d be healthy and wouldn’t need hospitals.”

  5. “ The money hit the road Jack, so don’t you get sick, no more, no more, no more, no more”

  6. “ The thing is, rich folk won’t get richer if they don’t get tax cuts and then there’ll be sfa to trickle down for the undeserving poor, let alone for infrastructure, a decent health service, and the crapped-out education system.”

  7. “ Remember that Sir Bill English designated a whole generation of young New Zealand males useless unemployable druggies, and that’s a sizeable demographic not worth bothering about anyway.”

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