Political Caption Competition
I’m told you heathen bottom feeders eat this shit so I’m having a photo taken to show you I am common like you bottom feeders. Vote for me bottom feeders.
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Corrupt man, kicked out of Air New Zealand and a danger to the democracy of New Zealand. Also a known liar, Te Puke anyone.
I kept hearing that phrase ‘Eat the Rich’ and I always go with the flow so here’s a go. A small joint rolled in real breadcrumbs and deep fried. Yum – dip it in whisky mustard for that extra alcoholic tang.
I considered voting for the guy holding the nugget. But Luxon recommencing cruel live sheep exports, and releasing genetically engineered organisms, and getting rid of Commissioner Coster – are absolute complete deal breakers.
If this nugget is a first home buyer, then I intend to devour it, and turn it into shit. National has received $1.25 million in donations from real estate moguls, to bring back tax breaks and foreign speculators, which will re-start the inexorable rise in property values, putting them out of reach for first home buyers, consigning them to lifelong renting. But the cash is so good…I mean the nugget tastes so good…I mean we must use prudent incremental property market regulation that….what the hell, I mean I just want more money for my 7 houses!
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Read my lips, this nugget is more honest than me. I state to the NZ public, that no health outcomes have improved under Labour, but I’m LYING. Lung desease rates have decreased. Overall cancer rates for Maori have decreased. Life expectancy has increased. And to top it all off, I want to destroy the maori health authority, because I prefer to return to the type of health system with proven poorer outcomes for maori.
This represents the size of my brain. It may seem fried to a crisp, but it’s still surprisingly functional. For example, when Nact polling fell below 61 MP’s, my brain told me that I needed to phone Winston. This shows I must be compos mentis, because only a sane person would WANT to phone Winston.
We’ve got the rich-lister vote in the bag. And public servant haters are flocking to us. And the racist vote with our race baiting dog whistles. And we’re carving into the squeezed middle with our Claytons tax package that will NEVER get past Winston, so theirs no point me revealing the modeling now anyway. And finally we’re going after the KFC fanciers vote – Trump has already pledged his.
Luxon auditions for part as Hamlet. Changes script to say that Yorick was “guilty of wasteful speeding and insufficient focus on outcomes”. Claims that the original script was clearly not written by a CEO because it’s “wet, whiny and inward-looking”
“Alas poor nugget, I knew him well dear Nicola,
A fellow of infinite grease”
For the last time, I’ll explain to you how trickle up works. Jetsetters in my tax bracket will be getting the whole meal. Bottomfeeders will get this nugget. And beny’s will get the crumbs.
All this having to follow the democratic process, to show my integrity to the public and to the voters and my constituents, is starting to get very tedious. I much preferred it, when I ran AirNZ and could do anything I liked, such as providing maintenance to Saudi military equipment used to slaughter civilians in Yemen.
If the public insist on the leaders debate going ahead, then I’m afraid it will have to go ahead without me. They can always replace me with Winston, since he’ll probably end up, being the one whose pulling the strings anyway.
My election team has given me plenty of smart arse fancy excuses, to avoid a third leaders debate, because the truth be told, I’m more than happy to shit on democracy, and avoid being questioned on things I want to hide.
I’m too busy to debate Chippy, because I’ll be too busy eating nuggets, and clipping my toe nails, and braiding my hair. I do actually have 5 hairs, that I can braid into a ponytail – it was sir John’s suggestion.
hehehe
This nugget represents the size of my tax package for bottomfeeders on minimum wage.
Three nuggets, also represents the size of the increased hourly rate of the minimum wage during Labours term in govt.
Slick, slimey, slippery, and that’s just the mc-nugget.
KFC, the meal favoured my all ex-cons.
Patrick Stewart has let himself go.
Hipkins is sick, so I’m debating with this nugget. I’m doing well so far.
Luxon impressed by KFC’s “laser sharp focus on delivery”
Took my tie off to avoid getting filthy grease on it.
CEO = chicken-eating oligarch
I’m smiling because foreign buyer demand will inflate the value of my housing portfolio by 20%
Wannabe Messiah attempts loaves and fishes miracle. Results are mixed.
Foreign buyer tax will bring in enough for all this feast! Share it round.
Tell Bishop I want to bin this crap and go to Soul Bar or Amano
Rich man fails to be authentic
Vote National – the first bite is tasty, the after-effect nauseating
With your tax cuts you can afford this nugget.
Spot the chicken