Dear parents and schools.
I’m going to bash you for raising bottom feeders while this huge wooden eagle carries a photo of the Queen just to remind you of how much richer I am than you.
Spare the whip, spoil the child.
May the blessed Christ beat the Devil out of you.
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Dear Queen,
Could you please put in a good word for me. I have a feeling I’ll be joining you soon.
Sincerely
CHRISTopher
PS you could point out that trick with my name; I need all the help I can get.
PPS Any ideas for government? I’m all out down here…
Dear mummy, you were right I’m afraid. I will never amount to anything special. Does Jesus still love me?
Signing into Aristocrats Anonymous self help group.
The big bald eagle has landed.
I’m adaptable (sigh) now we have adopted spending restraints reflecting the financial crisis affecting even us of the National Party; the NP Head has shifted my desk to a corner in the basement near the upwardly mobile stairs where the special furniture is stored. The photo of the Queen I keep near as the symbol of service as in our National Party beliefs. We follow her commitment and devotion in our nation’s fundamental cornerstone of purity of purpose.