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  1. ‘This is your Captain speaking. Just sit tight and we’ll be descending into Hell very shortly. Thanks for flying Natzkey Airways, “for that trip you never wanted to make”‘

  2. “I can do anything…next will be a Disneyland Guide…don’t I look the part?”

  3. Like my grin?

    I say grin, as I don’t like them saying;

    I’m “the smiling assassin” – as it’s true.

  5. Fly high and enjoy it Captain Creepy while you can. Because you will be coming down for a very bumpy crash landing when you get back from brown nosing in Washington and taking time out in Hawai’i!

    April 4 is looming!

  6. “Welcome to Psychopath Airlines , where we put extreme short term profits before people!
    Please fasten your seatbelts as you are in for a careless, wreckless , fatal flight.
    Should you require assistance please don’t call for a hostess or steward. There aren’t any!
    Due to cost saving measures we have ‘let them go’.
    We don’t intend to be in business for too much longer but hey ,it’s been a blast and I sold all my airline shares yesterday.
    Enjoy the crash landing!!! “

  8. And the Steward said that after I finish looking at the cockpit I can have a biiig glass of lemonade.

  9. Hey Guys, So the rides a bit rough team. Keep smiling coz there ain’t no vomit bags.

  10. Wullcome to Brighter Future Airlines.
    This is your ceptain speaking – to the best of my recollection the wings are not on fire.
    And rilly, at the end of the day New Zillunders expect me to fly the plane and ginerally they approve of the direcshun and there could be a whole range of factors that might potentially cause an issue with the wings. So basically we’ll kick the tyres but I don’t think much’ll change because the brighter future is diffanitly a fect.

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