MEDIAWATCH: Why is TVNZ entering the mobile phone market? Why is the yoghurt and Big Save advert the same and why Uber Eats destroyed their brand to appeal to vampires?

ByMartyn Bradbury

Why the fuck is TVNZ getting into the mobil phone market?

They are the Public Broadcaster, this bullshit advert about some Maori fella teenager searching for his Mum amongst the Scottish Highlands is not what their core business should be!

TVNZ should be focused on public broadcasting not broadcasting to the public!

TVNZ can barely do the pittance they are currently doing, why move into mobile phones?

Their Board should all be sacked for allowing the News and Current Affairs departments to wither and die while allowing Seven Sharp to remain!

A curse on everyone at TVVNZ, what a stupid idea to branch into Mobile Phones!

Wait a moment Sportsfans, my phone is ringing.

Hold on, I’ll get back to this attack on how stupid it is for TVNZ to get into the mobile phone market right after I take this phone call:

“Hello”?

“What”?

“It’s not an advert for TVNZ? What?”

“It’s called One NZ, that’s the TV1 channel name”.

“What”?

“One NZ is Vodaphone”???

“But why would you change your name to one that is immediately confused as the TVOne News network”?

“What sort of cocksucker fuckwit would damage their own brand by naming it something totally eclipsed by an existing brand”?

“Wow”.

Comrades I’ve just been informed that ONE NZ is actually Vodaphone who have decided for reasons beyond comprehension to rename themselves that is automatically confused for TVNZ, so all that hilarious shitting on TVNZ and Vodaphone was wrong of me.

Hilarious though.

The decision by Vodaphone to rename themselves something that immediately confuses them with another brand is as clever as Uber Eats bizarre decision to remind people who are ordering food of menstrual blood.

I’m not sure many people want to think about menstrual blood when they are ordering food.

Who is this for?

Vampires?

While we are talking adverts, has anyone noticed that the Big Save advert and that yoghurt advert are the exact same advert?

It’s about two Māori blokes who have a dream sequence for something ‘real’, it’s almost an identical advert, I hope someone got a discount because it feels like a shared creative moment there.

Consumerism has walked away from adverts and is pushing money towards influencers and social media bribed algorithms.

I think I’m the only person left watching TV as these empty adverts beg me to become emotionally available to them.

Hilariously the TVNZ mobile phone adverts attracted the most complaints for the sex scene in it.

We are a nation of prudes.

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10 Comments

  1. I thought One NZ was was a looney anti-vax, anti-maori political party that got 2% of the Party vote.
    And do not start me on the way straight men are so often denigrated and ridiculed in advertising. Put a woman or a gay in the ad for the butter horse. Not brave enough for that.

  3. I use adds as an indicator of where not to spend my money. If they have enough to waste on adds they must be stealing. Insurance adds ……… I have this machine in my pocket that finds and reviews anything I want then guides me to it.

  4. The Vodafone rebranding is almost as strange as the Telecom one. Ridiculous nonsense. Time for nationalization

  5. FYI. The letters v.o.d.a.f were licensed at $5mill each letter per year from vodafone UK.

    May be the those saved millions were spent on TV One ad spots and pay Hillary & Jeremy.

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