MEDIAWATCH: The existential crisis facing Seven Sharp & The Project

Mass global warming disruption is destroying the planet in real time as a burst of super heated weather catastrophes collide and rupture creating cascading extreme events that are permanently amputating our present while dooming our future.

30% of Pakistan is under water, wildfires in Spain have scorched the countries main olive groves in the worst heat seen in 1200 years and rivers across all of Europe have dried up with hunger stones proclaiming “If you see me, then weep” .

Putin’s gamble at legacy has trapped him in the Ukraine with few options left other than atrocity and carnage, his destruction of the European Economy will occur when spiralling heating costs breach citizens ability to pay later this year in December.

The unprecedented heatwave in China is shutting down an economy already terribly weakened and an Authoritarian Leader about to be granted god powers for life in November and who needs an external threat like Taiwan to turn to conflict.

On top of this the US Economy braces for recession while hyper inflation grips most developing nations.

So I decided to tune into the bastions of 7pm current affairs in NZ, Seven Sharp and The Project, to see how the great and good of 7pm current affairs were navigating the swarms of circling Black Swans.

Now, I have to hand on heart tell you all that I don’t watch Seven Sharp or The Project much because I have a basic reading age, don’t consider ZM or The Edge entertainment and I have an internet connection.

Sadly however,  large swathes of our population tune in at 7pm to worship at the altars of lite infotainment on both channels and I thought I’d choose the Monday episodes to review so I can see what the masses are thinking about our looming geopolitical explosions.

Seven Sharp is on. It’s not Hillary. It’s Sarsha and Jeremy.

Straight into the first hard hitting story, and it’s cars speeding past schools.

Yes.

Cars. Speeding. Past. Schools.

They then cut to some cop to tell people to slow down past schools.

It’s like a remedial class for people with foetal alcohol syndrome.

Jeremy pulls a face when he thinks about people driving while using their phones.

Sarsha tut tuts and nods.

Next story – the cost of living crisis, Thank Christ! An actual issue impacting everyone that we can debate!

Tell us Seven Sharp about how neoliberal hegemonic economic structures are impacting our day to day living and robbing us blind while the corporate elite and 1% wealthiest laugh at our misery!

The story is about date-flation where the cost of dating is making people share the cost of the date and doing cheap dates.

That’s Seven Sharp’s exploration of global capitalism and its impact and wage slavery upon us.

Workers of the World, go to Tinder.

The next fourth estate examination of power by Seven Sharp is a story about how people look like other people. They then waste time talking to a scientist about how people who look like you might share the same behavioural outcomes. Why the fuck this is even on the screen is utterly unexplainable to me. This isn’t a story, did someone actually green light this as a story? Did the third story fall over and this last one quickly put together by the c team research department?

I can’t tell you what the fuck this story is about, it looks like an expensive way to fill 5 minutes.

So the first segment was cars going fast past schools, cheap dates and something about people who look like you.

Those were the issues of our day?

The first story back from the break is about an artist who draws maps. This is the closest Seven Sharp gets to geopolitics. It feels like the compulsory Wellington Branch of TVNZ story.

Next is a story about female farmers not getting dates.

It’s hosted by a comedian.

It’s as awful as it sounds.

Jesus wept this is so brain numbingly stupid.

Ok, The Project.

There is the huge panel of people, most of whom I don’t know.

They compensate for the lack of talent by having as many people on screen as possible.

Their first story as the planet looms towards conflict is about parents on Tic Tok saying they won’t have their children’s friends sleepover and that sleep overs at a young age might be damaging the precious wee children and anxious and trigger and snowflake and blah blah blah blah blah.

Since when the fuck were Mummy Bloggers producing The Project?

A ‘Family Coach’ is on stating the obvious and all the panel are receiving the fucking obvious as if they are stone tablets being presented by Moses.

This segment is like a head injury.

They can’t agree on what age is too young. They have rules for successful sleepovers.

It’s like a segment on ‘how to put on a seatbelt’.

They are still talking about sleepovers.

The whole second segment is about sleepovers.

There’s a war in the Ukraine.

The planet is melting.

Sleep. Over.

Oh fuck they are still talking about sleepovers!

How do they all need to have an opinion on sleepovers?

The next current affairs segment is about dodgeball. Yes. Dodgeball.

Then there is an interview with Simon Bridges and the sad state of affairs of his career by  appearing on the worst  TV Show in the World.

The Masked Dickhead.

Judith Collins showed Simon Bridges’ career more respect when she tried to destroy it with her shit encrusted MeToo Harpoon than he has since leaving Parliament.

What the fuck were you doing in that robot costume! David Seymour can get away with being a dick on Dancing with the Stars because David Seymour doesn’t have a functioning personality beyond wide eyed sociopathy, you on the other hand had credibility!

Watching Seven Sharp and The Project is like watching Simon Bridges singing and dancing in a giant robot costume.

I mean that literally, metaphorically, intellectually, culturally and philosophically.

This kind of insipid fourth estate journalism is why Qanon and antivax lunatics are winning.

Ultimately I think there is an existential crisis for Seven Sharp and The Project. As shit gets rapidly worse, the disconnect between this garbage and the harshness of the reality will strip these platforms of relevancy and audience.

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