Lamb of Chris vs Lamb of Christ – Brian Tamaki feels left out of Luxon’s religious love

ByMartyn Bradbury

Wait?

What!

Christian on Christian friendly fire?

Ummmm.

Look.

I’m no theologian, but Luxon is an Evangelical Prosperity Gospel Christian who believes him having 4 properties (he had 7 but sold 3 after he changed the tax law) shows everyone how much Jesus loves him.

Which is the exact same mutation of Christianity that Bishop Brian Tamaki inhabits.

Jesus wants him to have that gold watch and Motorbikes.

So two evangelical Christians who believe in the same self aggrandising wealth theology are fighting because why now?

Look, I’m not someone who believes in flying invisible magical wizards, B-U-T the Bible is very clear, in Leviticus it says:

The Lamb of Chris will war with the Lamb of Christ to defeat each other as sacrifices 

Again, not a Theologian B-U-T if it says they must both fight to the death in a cage match for the little baby Jesus, who are we to deny Jehovah?

This can only be settled with armed combat in the sight of the Virgin Mary.

Again, no Theologian here.

Thoughts and Prayers.

Actually, can we all please laugh at the most awkward thing every filmed in Christendom again please?

Isn’t it so bad?

I still keep watching it and can’t stop laughing.

PS – Dear Brian Tamaki, Jesus told me to tell you he wants you to challenge Chris to a bare knuckle match next Sunday and no you can’t talk to him, he’s busy, he asked me to tell you.

 

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8 Comments

  1. The likes of Luxon, Seymour, Tamaki and their clingon’s claim to being Christian is as genuine as the odor from a mutton curry house long drop being similar to a rose garden.

    1. The likelihood of Luxon, Seymour or Tamaki spending eternity enjoying crayfish or T-bone steaks on high, is exceedingly low, and eternity cometh quickly and lasts a long long time.

  2. Protestants like Luxon depart from Catholics. Actually being a Christian takes a bit more than wealth and status.

    Protestants believe that John Chapter 1 Verse 1 when Mary calls out to god as her Saviour implies that Mary has sin because only sinners need a saviour.

    It’s like how can someone who pushes god out be a believer and not a knower. It’s this exact bastardisation of the scriptures that allows non Christians to go against Jesus Christ’s teachings and smuggle in sexualisation and pro poverty sentiment bashing poor people.

    Luxon is not a Christian.

  3. I wish you’d stop calling Tamaki a bishop. He’s nothing.
    What qualifications does he have and who appointed him?
    None, and himself.

  4. I love watching Mark Mitchell’s face and listening to his voice during that little clip.
    Last time I saw an expression like that it was lying on a fishmonger’s counter.
    Last time I heard oratory like that was myself during our school’s compulsory public speaking.
    But to be fair to the man he is honestly disinterested – Luxon is the one faking sincerity.

  5. Political leaders Luxon, Tamaki, and Seymour seemingly chanelling various religious leaders dead over 2,000 years is a kind of madness, IM0. Not a journey of three wise men. Not appropriate in a secular society.

  6. Martyn an intermediary with the higher power? Not surprised though, he’s served an apprenticeship, had the authorities try to silence him etc. But whitey Luxon has been brought up in that middle class way of modernism where you don’t make or do anything manually – I don’t think he would be up to fisticuffs. He would rather put Brian T in cuffs and away, along with all his annoying brown brothers.

    1. Grey Warbler. If you’re saying that Chris isn’t a forest, fishing, camping sort of fella, you’d be right at that. He seems pretty damn useless to me and could serve New Zealanders better by not trying to.

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