Bill English had bad acne as a teenager – he understands pain

As the operator of the Death Star, Bill English knows all about pain and suffering.

As National strategists desperately scramble to make Bill English seem as empathetic as Jacinda Ardern, Bill’s opened up about his pain.

He had bad acne for the approximate age span of a normal adolescent...

Prime Minister Bill English has opened up about a humbling experience with bad acne, in a revealing interview with Newshub’s Ryan Bridge.

Mr English disclosed he’d had bad acne for five or six years, which he described as a “pretty interesting experience about how the world sees you, and learning cope with that”.

“You know what it’s like to be in a room and feel like you’re the only one who looks like that, and thinking everyone’s looking at you.”

He said going through the experience taught him resilience and empathy for others.

Reflecting back on it now he saw it as a lesson and a positive experience.

“It helped me understand how, in different versions, that happens to other people – whether they’ve got a disability or whether they’re seen in a particular way because of the colour of their skin or how they look.”

…turns out Bill English understands the pain of the 41 000 homeless, the 300 000 kids in poverty, the over 10 000 in prison, the 550 000 who suffer severe hardship each year, the 1600 who die each year from the cold, the hungry beneficiaries, the 1500 who commit suicide and the hundreds of thousands locked out of home ownership  because he had bad acne as a teenager.

He gets resilience and empathy folks because he had pimples.

Has white privilege ever sounded so desperate?

Bill – he’s been there bro

He’s not a radical right Catholic who has voted against abortion and gay reform with the kind of steely eyed fanaticism of the Spanish Inquisition, oh no, he empathises with your pain because he had blackheads.

Those social workers quitting the new Ministry for making Vulnerable Children will be thankful the PM knows about suffering.

I’m guessing the victims of the housing crisis that National still claims doesn’t exist, and the homeless National are needing to buy motels to keep in really appreciate that they are being kept homeless while state houses are privatised and Bill English grapples with his acne demons.

Those state house tenants with mushrooms growing in their house will be relieved that Bill understands their anguish.

The Salvation Army tells us we need 18 000 new state houses over the next decade and requite 2000 a year to be built.

National are currently on track to build 90 in 4 years.

Bill – he understands 

Those people living in motels and cars and garages  must be super excited to know they are being led by someone who understands their hurt because he went through the basic experience of puberty.

If this is the best National can do to humanise ‘the rock’, they need to get the entire electorate of NZ stoned first.