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  1. Dear Leader celebrates development of Methane Bomb. “It’s all in the land, dear children. Keep farming!”

  2. “Who wants a medal? We’re givin’ ’em away here free with every sale to the Imperialist Yankees…”

  3. “Oh my brothers and sisters, I have seen the light! Have you? Have you seen the light?”

  4. The Great Dictator Wang Ky Jong greets wealthy, potential land grabbing investor tourists and migrants at Auckland airport.

    “Come one, come all, give me your money and I will hand you NZ on a plate, along with Kiwis as your lifelong slaves.”

  5. Well there’s a whole range of factors but my understanding is that the majority of New Zealanders feel that the future is pretty much brighter and I’m comfortable with that

  6. Did you really think I am an American plant in NZ? Nah, I’m ackchully a top secret double agent!

  7. “Aww, after a few ‘reds’, you know what a sucker I am for dressing up and getting all warm and cosy with minority groups – except this lot don’t look as though they would appreciate a big kiss on the lips.”

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