SPECIALS ARE IN: Old Zealand beats New Zealand – Election 2023 Winners, Losers, Best, Worst & Predictions


The electorate has spoken, and apparently it has said, ‘This potato headed meat sack is our new Prime Minister and we all lose’!

Potato Headed Meat Sack spends half his weekly shopping budget on KFC

First up, this election wasn’t won, it was bought!

How much per vote

Act: $20.90

- Sponsor Promotion -

National: $9.34

NZ First: $6.91

Green: $5.62

Labour: $1.79

Te Pāti Māori: $1.69

The knee jerk bullshit policy alongside counterproductive punitive measures alongside Real Estate Lobbyist wet dreams have all combined to vandalise our Egalitarian State!

We are collectively a far worse country for this outcome!

I’m not pissed off National won, that’s democracy, what I’m pissed off by is that they won with such vapid and venal policy.

National will rob 2 year olds, mutilate public transport and literally steal from climate change funds to pay 3000 rich landlords the full $250 per fortnight tax cut funded by a magical foreign buyers tax that will never ever produce the revenue the Property Lobbyists who wrote National’s policy are pretending it will.

The reason why this mutilation has won? Because the electorate hated Labour so much.

That voters didn’t care National, ACT and NZ First would unleash madness highlights how much voters were burnt by Covid lockdowns and Labour’s grotesque incrementalism.

Add into that one of the worst campaigns by Chippy ever and Labour have been destroyed this election.


With the specials now in, the Māori Party have stolen the election and taken 6 of the Māori Electorates and generated an overhang that means ACT/National need Winston!


Rat. Fucked.

This is the worst threesome in NZ History – they all cry out their own names when they orgasm!

We have just elected a Government of antivaxx quacks, anti-indigenous Māori racists and climate deniers who will do the bidding of the Real Estate Pimps, Trucking Industry, the Corporate Farmers, the Banks and the Gambling Industry FFS!

How will this cavalcade of political circus freaks manage to last 3 years is anyones guess.

There are of course after an election some political Winners and Losers…



Real Estate Pimps – The lobbyists who wrote National’s property policy are all having drug fuelled orgies in celebration of this devastating win for Landlords and obscene inequality. The Real Estate Pimps paid $2million in donations to the political right to remove the Foreign Buyers Ban, give Landlords massive tax loopholes that’ll benefit mega landlords to the tune of hundreds of millions and give Landlords the right to evict, and what a pay day the Real Estate Pimps have gained! The trick of announcing National were removing the Foreign Buyers Ban and selling that grotesque manipulation as a revenue source rather than locking another generation out from home ownership is the greatest lie ever perpetrated on the people of Aotearoa, and the sleepy hobbits of muddle NuZilind swallowed it hook, line and sinker because of WEF Jabcinda and the Plandemic! The Real Estate Pimps are the true winners of this Election and using Paula Bennet as their proxy in the mainstream media was a stroke of genius.

Māori Party – The backlash to this being the most racist election ever held generated an enormous drive within Māoridom to step up for themselves. Nanaia being beaten by a 21 year old highlights the power of demographics that now rule Māori politics. 70% of Māoridom are under the age of 40 and they won’t put up with the Right using them as a political punching bag any longer. When ACT start their racist race war inducing referendum, the resistance will be based from these Māori electorates and will generate immediate friction to any referendum.

The need for a new alliance between Labour and the Māori Party is there to build a new political dynasty.


Naked white fragility racism – Never before have so many fragile white egos all risen at once to scream, ‘but what about cracker’ quite like this election. Because Labour are cowards, they never explained what the fuck 3 Waters or Co-Governance was and on the odd occasion they did try to explain it, like the fishhook laden 3 Waters and the ludicrous Tamati Coffee induced attempt to weight votes more to Māori, it only fuelled white fragility fears even more. Because Labour wouldn’t engage, Astroturf dark money filled the void and convinced white voters that this was an existential race war secretly developed by Radical Nationalist Māori to steal da water when it was nothing of the sort. As raw sewage pumps into Auckland Harbour and water contamination rises with 70% of rivers unswimmable, watching fragile white egos forced to boil their water before they can drink it after muttering ‘but He Puapua is apartheid’  seems a perfectly acceptable outcome.


Brooke Van Veldon – As a 30 year old, Brooke is the only woman in NZ who dresses like she’s 53! Brooke’s wardrobe will receive the pension before she does, which is probably why ACT are so keen to push Super up to 67! Surprise win for Brooke in Tamaki, and I say surprise because after the debate we held in Tamaki, I thought Simon O’Conner would win. There’s an odd glow that comes to Brooke’s eyes when she talks about the State standing over poor people and telling them how to live, like the way Gollum speaks about his precious. During the debate, Brooke almost seemed aroused by the idea of slashing 15000 Government jobs where as O’Connor took a far more dignified and compassionate approach by calling for no slash and burn. Unfortunately this is Tamaki, which is Maori for, ‘Angry White Rich people living near the beach’, and anything less than the sacking of all public servants and sowing salt in their gardens is unacceptable. Look out poor people, Brooke is here to smother you to death in her off pink robe. No seriously. She is. RUN!


Privatisation Agenda – Alongside the Real Estate Pimps, every consultant wanting less regulation and more juicy public private contracts are rejoicing at this win. We can already see anyone who donated to National are now in a conga line for a tsunami of crony capitalism the likes of which we’ve never seen before.

…National’s conflicts of interest are about to make all Labour’s collective sins look like child’s play. We will yearn for the day Stuart Nash sent Cabinet briefings as the highest point of ethical standards in comparison.


National Party Caucus Meeting

Corporate Farmers – The corporate farmers win again! After rigging the entire political system to empower them and their profit margins no matter the cost to our environment or  geopolitical safety, the corporate farmers have managed to put off doing anything meaningful on emissions for another fucking 5 years! When you consider Helen Clark first called for emission reductions in 2003,  Corporate Farmers have managed to prevent any changes for 25 years now! That is an incredible feat of political manipulation and fuckwittery. All hail the Golden Cow we slavishly worship in NZ! Remember, whatever the problem, the NZ solution is MORE COWS!


CTUs Craig Renney – Where the fuck has this CTU been? Since the passing of Helen Kelly the CTU has drifted without any real purpose or direction as woke identity politics seemed to become more important to the Wellington clique than you know, worker rights. The breath of fresh air CTU Economist Craig Renney injected in the last month of the election with research that undermined the economic credibility of National’s deeply flawed tax policy was what the Left should have been doing for the last 3 years! The Left have walked away from economics and focused on the low hanging fruit of identity politics which only divides using pure temple politics rather than Broadchurch Solidarity. The common ground between people is their class, not their identity and Craig Renney is the blueprint for how the Left wins in 2026.


Bank Oligopoly and Supermarket Duopoly – The powerful who shape our under regulated capitalism are safe because National builds monopolies, they don’t break them. ACT and National want to gut MBIE who are the only Department that polices our under regulated capitalism so the rich win. Again.


Steve Able & Efeso Collins – One of the few wins was the election of former Greenpeace Activist Steve Able and People’s Hero Efeso Collins. Both will bring an activism and dynamism desperately needed in the 3 year resistance to the right wing onslaught we are about to face.


Chris Penk – There is no reason why Chris Penk is in this list, but you can’t have a list of winners without The Penky! Deserves a Cabinet position as the only National Party MP with more charm than a road accident.


Jacinda – It was weird that while Covid shaped everything, we refused to talk about it like it was a taboo trauma. So much bitterness towards a shared universal experience was always going to cause cultural and political backlash. For many their Covid sacrifice was unequal in an unequal society and for those who made anti-vixx and anti-mandate their identity it created an ostracisation they had never encountered and warped them with terminal resentment forever. How else can you explain the existence of The Platform?  As the election closed, research was released showing Jacinda’s leadership in her Covid response saved 20 000 lives! Labour were ready to fight the Covid War but lost the Covid Peace.That research was a reminder in the dying days of the campaign that Jacinda’s courage will be noted by the historians even as those who benefited rebelled against her. Pity she did nothing with the unprecedented MMP majority and reverted to incrementalism instead of true transformative change.



Haha. Now explain why you fucking sold us out on the wealth tax clown!

Chippy – Whipsmart Tova reports Chippy feels confident that he will survive a leadership challenge which is terribly sad because it highlights what a pack of cowards the Labour Caucus are, and it flies in the face of market dynamics.

Chippy’s lacklustre policy directions that cost Labour the election shouldn’t be rewarded!


‘Captain’s call????’, and who were you the Captain of Chippy? The Fucking Titanic!

Every single step in the campaign Chippy fucked up because he was cut from the exact same timid incrementalism Jacinda was locked into.

When the GST off fresh Fruit and Vegetables was leaked, Chippy had a chance to save this insipid meaningless policy by extending it to ALL Supermarket bought food, but he didn’t because he was too weak.

He killed the bloody Wealth Tax, something that would have been funded by the mega wealthy to give every Kiwi their first $10 000 tax free, but he refused to do it because he’s weak.

What the fuck was the point of Bread and Butter politics if no one could afford the Bread and Butter?

Chippy should agree to stay as leader to stabilise the situation with the agreement that he will open a leadership challenge later next year and allow those Labour MPs wishing to challenge to debate the direction of the Party  and open that to the members because his bullshit refusal to increase the capacity of the State to deal with the challenges we are all confronted with by taxing the rich, is inexcusable as a Labour Leader.

He can not remain as the Leader of Labour with that position. He’s as philosophically impotent as Phil Goff.

PS: I don’t care about Chippy’s new love interest, stop asking him questions about that and start asking questions like, ‘how did you fuck up the wealth tax so bad you ginger numpty”?

PPS: I don’t wan to see another fucking sausage roll for the rest of the fucking year.


Labour – Look, I’m not saying there wen’t some gains over the last 6 years: Free school lunches, trust tax, new top income rate, free prescriptions, most state houses in 50 years, record investment in housing, healthcare and investment, regulate property managers, clean car discount, apprenticeship scheme, benefits to wages, FPAs – all great first steps, but after 6 years of ‘first good steps’, you realised you were just jogging on the spot!

We were promised transformative, what we got was less left wing than the British Tory Party!

Labour are over run by the Professional Managerial Class, they see the solution is better bureaucratic structures rather than an upgrade of the Capacity of the State and so spent 6 years recreating bureaucratic structures without the necessary upgrade of capacity.

Labour refused to explain what the hell 3 Waters or Co-governance meant because Jacinda hated conflict (her Cabinet meetings were nicknamed ‘The Good Ship Lollypop’ because she wouldn’t tolerate any negativity) and wouldn’t engage on co-governance or 3 Waters which allowed astroturf dark money to take over the debate and manufacture it into an existential race issue.

Fundamentally Labour needed to tax the rich to pay for the social infrastructure we needed, but because Labour at heart are intellectual cowards, they refused to engage in that, which left voters asking, ‘why bother voting for Labour’.

Why indeed.

Labour need a deep dive into what the fuck went wrong, and they’ve put together a team to do that, but I’ve already heard from people involved that it is a huge waste of time and won’t answer any real questions or throw up any real solutions.

Labour needs to tax the rich to build the social infrastructure society needs and it has to be able to articulate that vision!

The need for a new alliance between Labour and the Māori Party is there to build a new political dynasty.


Greens – The worst mistake the Greens could make now is to misconstrue this result as proof positive their alienating woke middle class dogma was somehow successful, it wasn’t. Greens only gained because Labour were so spineless.

After handing so much culture war ammunition to the Right, our woke middle class identity activists literally drove male voters into the arms of the political right.

In woke Wellington world, ALL white men are irredeemable cross burning racists, B-E-L-I-E-V-E ALL women that ALL men are rapists and anyone defending free speech is a uniform wearing Nazi who hates the trans community.

Turns out that identity politics mentality alienates rather than brings together.

‘Pure Trans Joy’ probably helped cost us the election.

The resentment this new battle front in modern elections has generated is all personal feelings, either feral nuttiness of Qanon lunatics or the Outrage Olympics of the Woke.

Everyone sprints to be offended first for virtue signalling social media lynchings.

The problem with Cancel Culture for the Left is that after the woke have cancelled everyone, who votes for us?

Look at it this way.

In 2020, Labour got 51.01% of the vote and Greens got 7.86.

In 2023, Labour (provisionally) got 26.85 while Greens lifted to 10.78.

Labour shed  24.16% yet barely 3% of that went to the Greens!

As a movement we alienated voters by virtue signalling our wokeness and not their material well being.

The Greens need to step back and consider the future because resistance to what National/ACT/NZF are about to attempt will be desperately required. It is obvious Chloe is the future leader and that transition should occur after the Summer.


Of course Chris Luxon believes in dinosaurs!

National – Ran possibly the worst election strategy in history. Refused to rule Winston out, then ruled Winston him in, then begged the electorate to not make National work with Winston.  Pushed a policy platform of spite and created fake Foreign Buyers Tax revenue to magically gloss over their tax policy. Luxon is thick as two planks and sold deodorant and left Air NZ with $3billion in debt. How could they fuck this up so badly?

The early desire to go all Police State on gangs is not a good start.


I’m Captain Icarus and I’m going to drive this plane like a chariot into the sun!

ACT – Started out with so much promise by using the culture war ammunition the woke middle class activists generated and leveraged the resentment against Labour, but the naked extremism of ACT and what they intended to do scared voters once they got over their blind anger towards Labour. ACTs extremist policy agenda spooked voters and left ACT with gun lobby fetishists and Treaty race baiting. We all wait to see if ACTs race war generating racist referendum will be allowed past Winston after the Specials.


Chris Bishop – Did Captain Grumpy Pants have a break down?

Bishop acted like a teenage tantrum for most of National’s disastrous campaign, and kept attacking things like a dog chasing parked cars. For a 40 year old, his gaunt bitter appearance has aged him, I can’t work out if it’s nicotine or being in the National Party.


Simeon Brown – The more I see of Simeon Brown, the more I despise him.

…Simeon gets sadistic kicks out of race baiting about da gangs da gangs as if he’s some tough guy. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he was caught with a huge number of unexplained children’s shoes under his house.


Climate Change – National/ACT/NZ First are a climate denial Government who will do all they can to allow polluters to do what they want to keep profiting from their pollution. The planet will burn while Luxon makes loves to a cow, the planet will boil while David Seymour decries climate alarmism and the planet will melt as Winston mumbles about gambling and cigarette taxes.

We are fucked on the climate change front for a full 3 years until these lunatics get thrown out.


Beneficiaries – No one ever lost votes bashing beneficiaries and when National wasn’t blowing the real estate industry, they were bashing beneficiaries. All the punitive measures about to be launched against our sickest and weakest will be the blueprint adopted to privatise welfare. Outside agencies will be paid a bonus when shifting beneficiaries off the list and that can be done two ways, 1) if you find them a job or 2) – you cut them off for some bullshit infraction on their ridiculous work ready conditions. Expect an enormous suffering to come out of this.

Drug addicts and disabled – Not content to bash beneficiaries, ACT wanted to target drug addicts and the disabled as well and have promised terrible retribution for their ‘welfare fraud’. White collar criminals who take billions each year however will receive a free pass.


Home Ownership – Already at the lowest level in 70 years, National’s removal of the Foreign Buyers Ban will lock out another generation from home ownership as the speculators rush back into the market.


Woke Middle Class Identity Activists – After handing so much culture war ammunition to the Right, our woke middle class identity activists literally drove male voters into the arms of the political right. In woke Wellington world, ALL white men are irredeemable cross burning racists, B-E-L-I-E-V-E ALL women that ALL men are rapists and anyone defending free speech is a uniform wearing Nazi who hates the trans community. Turns out that identity politics mentality alienates rather than brings together. ‘Pure Trans Joy’ probably helped cost us the election.


Prisoners – Are about to have their underfunded, corrupt and violent prisons jammed full to the point of prison riot with zero rehabilitation whatsoever. Expect ACT to call for private prisons.


Race Relations –  The manner in which NZF, ACT and National have race baited this election will cause wounds that will not heal over their 3 years in office. ACT have made it clear their racist referendum to redefine the Treaty and force it upon Māori is a bottom line. National will pass their gang patch law (that will target Māori more) and NZ First intends to make all domestic gangs terrorist organisations. Māori have been punching bags once more and the deep fury at how ACT, National and NZF have been allowed to race bait without condemnation has lit a fuse. This country will become ungovernable if National + ACT + NZF push this referendum.


Public Services – When Winston kills off National’s lifting of the foreign buyers ban, National’s entire economic house of cards collapses requiring mass public service cut backs, which will be funny because even if Winston greens lights it, it can never raise enough revenue to prevent National from slashing public services.

Public Transport – National will mutilate public transport just as oil prices are about to skyrocket due to the looming war in the Middle East.

Workers – Bosses to gain back the right to fire and scrap the Fair Pay Agreements which were the most substantial workers rights legislation passed in the last 40 years.

Renters – Landlords to gain the right to evict, social housing builds will stop and Landlords will gain enormous powers as rental regulations are all rolled back.


The Spinoff – NZ On Air has given The Spinoff $6.1 million while the Left have been in power so that the woke feel loved. While we all desperately want a new Trans Decolonizing Feminist Podcast hosted by Mummy Bloggers, whoever the new Broadcasting Minister is can’t seriously believe this is money well spent. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, The Working Group, NZ’s best weekly political podcast NOT funded by NZ on Air might finally, FINALLY be able to get one red cent out of them!

Auckland HATES Labour – Auckland HATES Labour so much. The second lockdown crippled us and that rage just wanted to hurt Labour.


Best Election Interview: Rebecca Wright – NewsHub Nation

No one watches NewsHub Nation which is a shame because I think the best interview the entire election was with Rebecca Wright destroying Christopher Luxon in a train wreck interview that highlighted just how much he is a stupid boofhead. Like really thick. It is an indictment on how bad Labour were hated by the electorate that Luxon was able to get elected after this interview.

Best Election Interviewer: Moana Maniapoto – Te Ao with Moana, Māori TV

The most fascinating insights into our politicians was done by Moana on Māori TV. Her David Seymour interview, Chippy interview, Winston interview, Māori Party and Green Party interviews were all brilliant and produced surprising interchanges that were unique and human and deep. Moana’s skill as a broadcaster is built on her intelligence and empathy. She produces what Seven Sharp and The Project should be doing if they weren’t dumbed down crass vehicles for advertisers. That Chris Luxon refused to appear speaks volumes about him as a leader. Imagine if Te Ao was primetime TVNZ and how much this kind of broadcasting could have shaped the debate?

Best Debate: Paddy Gower

He asked questions that forced the Leaders to adapt their rhetoric into everyday examples. Watching Luxon argue he would send in paramilitary police to start a riot at Gang funerals should never ever be forgotten. When Luxon said he didn’t know Winston Peters, Paddy yelled, ‘Everyone knows Winston’. Here’s another person Luxon doesn’t know…

Best Media Cheerleader – Ryan Bridges, AM Show

Look. I’m just going to make an assumption that Ryan Bridges has recently purchased a house, because his gleeful Cheerleading of anything to do with the value of property and mortgage rates seems deeply personal. You feel like he now has very firm views on capital gains tax. He’s like a poor Mike Hosking. Ryan is 3 months away from being the face of a new property app that helps Millennials get the best mortgage rate.

Best Debate Season – The Working Group

You know it!

And here is the best actual online Journalism site in NZ saying it!

A plaudit, too, to a partisan and non-media body: The Taxpayers’ Union. While it delights in provocative mischief and some personalised political attacks, during this campaign it funded and held multiple campaign debates, live-streamed, and conducted polls by a reputable pollster, Curia, for a clutch of key electorate races. The events and the polls added to the life of this campaign.


And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Worst Media Moment: Winston threatening Jack Tame

Winston had no costings for his prison promises and decided to lash out at Jack and ended up threatening his job? Winston claimed a conspiracy against him and that Jack was somehow involved with attempting to end NZ First. I was waiting for Winston to start demanding to know who Q was and why is there a secret dungeon inside TVNZ.

We are so fucked.

Best Answer – Shane Jones, Northland Debate 

At one point during our raucous Northland debate,  Matt King asked me why did I keep calling his party a ‘Conspiracy Theory Party’ to which I yelled at him, ‘because I went on your website, read your policy and you are a fucking Conspiracy Theory Party’.

I then turned to the audience and said, ‘There, I said it to your face Northland!’.

The denial of climate change and Covid was bewilderingly deep in Northland and I could barely hear the hatred spat at Willow-Jean over the duelling banjos.

As the debate ended, Shane Jones leaned into me and whispered, “They may not vote red mate, but their necks certainly are”.

He laughed.

I laughed.

And we both died on the inside.

Best question: Does Chris Luxon believe in Dinosaurs?

Of course Chris believes in Dinosaurs.


Worst Fundraising idea – Pole-dancing for the Green Party


…can we pay her not to?

Worst Answer – Luxon’s claim of a $60 a week shopping bill

Luxon claimed during one of the debates that he spent $60 a week on grocery shopping which seemed so weird and produced a flurry of news stories trying to ascertain what the hell he was eating that cost a mere $60 a week. In the above photo he has spent half his weekly supermarket spend. It was obvious he was pointlessly lying when he said he only spent $60 a week, like the way he lied about his wife gaining the Tesla subsidy while he was raging against it. For Chris these little white lies are a means to gloss over issues so one can move ahead positively. You know, like a middle management grasper who gains CEO promotion through sheer toadying.

Worst Campaign – Liz Gunn, Brian Tamaki and the antivaxx movement

Liz Gunn got her list in late so she had no party list beyond 3 names. Getting your paperwork in to start your political movement is kinda 101 stuff and that she cocked it all up so magnificently at the first hurdle is as funny as it is pitiful. At this stage, I just think she needs some mental health intervention because this was never rational and was always unhinged.

Tamaki has gloriously screamed at ‘gutless Christians’ for his poor polling, but seeing as God tells those Christians who to vote for, isn’t Brian’s fury at the Lord rather than his vassals, and if that is the case, has God turned on Brian? Thoughts and Prayers.

The wider more feral Antivaxx conspiracy vote went nowhere…

…and only found solace in NZFirst who has given them political voice.

Thank god these narcissistic egos are so toxic they can’t work together and were eclipsed by the greatest Ego of them all, Winston Peters.

Worst Neighbourhood Watch 

Cross burning race crime or friendly bumbling pakeha bloke wanting to pat on the head to a young Māori Party candidate? Who can say? What would be nice is for Māori to be able to wander through pakeha private property with the same gleeful abandon.

Worst Election Stunt – Luxon in pirate costume

What the fuck was he doing? Fighting for Colonialism?

Worst Interviewer – Simon Shepard – Newshub Nation

Simon started the interview by launching into David, and the skill, ease and total destruction of David’s counterattack was so devastating that I felt tempted to call the Police to report an assault.

It was a reminder of just how skilful Seymour can be and why the Left were foolish to underestimate him.

Luckily for Simon no one watches NewsHub Nation.




It looks to be a feast of dead rats for everyone.

There are great animosities over time.

Lions vs Hyenas.

Marvel vs DC.

TERFS vs Trans.

Winston vs Seymour.

David and Winston hate each other so much that direct eye contact can start an immediate homicidal rage in both of them.

I want that in a weak Luxon Cabinet, sweet Jesus let that happen.

If there is a God, Winston and David will be seated together at the Cabinet and the first murder in Parliament will occur shortly after that.

In the 2017 Cabinet the rule was that James Shaw wasn’t ever allowed to look Winston directly in the eyes, that is going to have to become a Worksafe requirement if a ACT/National/NZ First Government is created.

Cabinet is about to become as safe as the Ukrainian front.

The feast of dead rats they are all about to embark upon has so many dishes, it’s difficult to know where to begin.

Both will demand to be in Cabinet because allowing the other to sit on the Cross Benches gives them more power than if they are in the Cabinet!

Winston won’t lift the Foreign Buyers Ban and National have built their entire economic package on their Foreign Buyers Tax.

David wants his race baiting referendum and Luxon doesn’t.

Winston wants a provincial slush fund, David despises it.

David wants tax cuts, Winston has ruled them out.

National wants tax cuts, Winston has ruled them out too.

The only things they all agree on is bashing beneficiaries, paramilitary police force against gangs and a massive increase in prisons.

How inspirational.

ACT/National/NZFirst negotiation team

RECOUNTS: Some of the electorate’s are so close there will be recounts which could slow a final final count but none of those look like it will change the need for ACT/National/NZ First to get 51%

Gang Tangi Shoot Out – National have pledged to pass their stupid gang patch law in the first 100 days meaning the first Gang tangi held after that in Summer 2024 will have all eyes on Luxon to demand Police enter the tangi and remove those patches, the way he did during his Paddy Gower debate. The resulting police shoot out at a funeral will generate negative global media attention, which won’t help with our tourism brand. If NZ First manages to designate gangs as Terrorist Group expect the shootings to start earlier.

Prison Riot – The prison system is already near riot conditions due to severe understaffing and over crowding, dumping another 2000 prisoners into the system will push it over the top.

Rates rise before Christmas – Inflation is still burning and the geopolitical tensions about to explode in the Middle East will force another OCR before Christmas ruining many first time home buyers New Years. The squeezed middle will scream at National to do something.

Gaza – The looming war crimes about to be committed by the IDF will spark a revolt in the West Bank and invasion by Hizbollah which will generate an American response, which will generate an Iranian response which will generate an Israeli response which will generate a Russian response which will generate another American response. The new Government will have to deal with the evolving meltdown with nuance and justice. Unfortunately a National/ACT/NZF Government will have no concept of nuance and justice.

Entire National Party Economic Policy vetoed by NZ First – National’s entire economic house of cards is based on lifting the foreign buyers ban which Winston is diametrically opposed to. Winston could slash his own throat by selling out and allowing foreign speculators to manipulate our domestic real estate market again, or he will say no. If he says no, National’s entire economic model falls to pieces and all those Real Estate Pimps who funded the Rights campaign will be incandescent with rage.



New Zealand – Ultimately the biggest losers are New Zealand. NONE of ACT’s, Nationals or NZ First policy will provide well thought out consequences.

This wasn’t an election, it was a grudge fuck!

With a 78.4% turnout, so it was lower than 2017 when Labour barely won.

That’s over a million who could have voted but didn’t.

That’s a heavy rejection of the options presented.

An embittered and angry electorate wanted to hurt Labour and voted accordingly, Labour didn’t help by being hopelessly incompetent.  The poorest amongst us will fund a tax cut to rich landlords while the most vulnerable from beneficiaries, state house tenants, prisoners, drug addicts, the working classes and the disabled are all going to face insufferable and punitive sanctions.

A National/ACT/NZ First Government will only serve to compound counter productive policy that will deform, punish and mutate those stereotypes the Right despise and used to whip up the worst angels of our nature.

We are a poorer people for this change.

The Left needs a good hard long look at themselves.

This election wasn’t won, it was bought by private interests manipulating your anger at post Covid bitterness.

I’m not pissed that the Right won, that’s democracy, I’m pissed they won with such vapid and venal policy!

This knee jerk crap alongside counterproductive punitive measures alongside Real Estate Lobbyist wet dreams combine to vandalize the Egalitarian State

Taking from the poor to give to the rich ain’t my bag baby and we are a collectively worse nation for this outcome

The only thing that warms the cynical black splinter of what is left of my heart is the thought of Winston, Seymour and Luxon all having to work together.

If that’s ‘winning’, losing don’t feel so bad

If you thought Labour were awful, after 3 years of this National/ACT/NZ First nightmare, you will be screaming for Covid to make a come back!

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  1. Will TMP cross the floor and use their leverage? Otherwise it’s a waste sitting in opposition. 6 seats and 3% is a good result.

    There was some old fulla from up north that was heard singing to himself…”I have a band of men and all they do is play for me
    They come from miles around to hear them play a melody
    Beneath the stars my ten guitars will play a song for you
    And if you’re with the one you love this is what you do…”

    • Hopefully TMP have a better memory than you, they did take the baubles of power in the past and their voters dumped them, their new leaders look to have integrity and use TPM now as a short party description. With 6 votes in such a tight parliament they may be able to counter Winston although I doubt that they will find much in common with National or ACT for it to be a common event.

      • I thought National and TPM were spiritual life partners but this scripture must have been updated in the new version. Also NZ First and Labour were once strong stablemates before Labour was sent to the knackers yard and NZ First used it’s waka jumping prowess to win the steeplechase trifecta at Ellerslie.

  2. I’m going to leave the dumbest response here. But why couldn’t the three parties on the left.. swallow their pride and coalesce with Winston? That’s 63 seats? And banishment of the right…right? Yes they have differences but it could be a way out of the pathway to purgatory.

    • Even if Labour replaced Chippy with someone willing to work with Winston, there’s no way the Greens would agree to work with him after the trans toilet police proposal (which I will continue to reffer to it as that until they explain how tf they will implement it!) or TPM after he said Maori aren’t indigenous

      • I will implement my own toilet policing when it comes to children and vulnerable women thanks. I don’t need the state who has neglected to protect women and girls to do what is right.

      • He’s also been there and done that with National and how did that work out right wing Den?

          • Not entirely true. Class war politics is what its about. No more rationalisation, misdirection or what is a higher priority than some other small target political group because some special group is more handicapped than another group.
            Fuck the gender and identity politics off and the word nazis and fuckwittedness of cosplay yoofs who’re whiny fucks.

            We’re all the same or we’re not.

              • Semantics. Getting hung up on words & labels for peeps is so green party identity politics and tauiwi. However a non-believer in a plastic idol and one that doesn’t buy into dumbfuck ideology, so if that makes me a nihilist then so be it. But I’m more than that, much, much more.

    • Mainly because egos are more important to MPs than working together for the good of the country. They will still be well paid with perks on top so they can survive with a bonus of not being blamed for the inevitable bad things that will keep happening.

      • It seems we are stuck in a timewarp. This is MMP not FPP, anyone can form a government if they agree to and have the numbers. It would do well for labour to negotiate themselves into the left bloc and stop throwing in the towel. Let the other left leaning parties push some policies through they have in common… like the first 20k tax free etc and practice looking for commonality rather than division. Frankly it’s the job of those 4 to save NZ from the other 2. NZ will become more divisive and lose so much if that doesn’t happen. So they need to cowboy up.

      • I bet youre bloody happy with the election results, Anker. Go on about being Labour then cut and run for pretty frivious reason. I dont think you were all that left in the first place. Wages and conditions, as well as public services are going to be cut to the bone on the country, and you helped usher it in.


          • Yes they are. ACT wants to freeze the minimum wage for 3 years. That means thousands of workers in poverty while the business owners get to gouge more rent out of them to get a Ford Ranger.

            • Freezing something is not cutting it. Labour’s cost of living crisis has done far more damage to working people than freezing the minimum wage for 3 years will do.


      • You are a traitor to the left and the working class. You voted against public services, improved environmental outcomes, reducing homelessness, and making wages and conditions better. I fucking hope you lose everything. Because you voted your fellow workers out of jobs and out of their houses. Fuck you.

            • Wishing bad fortune on another poster says a lot more about the person saying it.
              How old are you?

              People are entitled to vote for who they want, all power to them, fancy being so arrogant as to abuse voters of another party because you don’t like that party.
              Even my school aged children have more respect for democracy.

              What emotionally immature people you of the far left are.

              • Im sorry, but given the fact that the wage and conditions of thousands of New Zealanders are at stake, and that the access of thousands more to health, education and housing are as well. I am 100% justified. Anyway, you are the one on here calling for workers to have their wages cut and homosexuality and abortion re-banned?

        • Yeah Labour made things so much better Millsy. I know this because the two charities I give to write to me and tell me how much demand including for food parcels is up.

          • And you think National is going to make thing better? For start, they are going to hold down benefits. But I guess you are OK. Punish those dirty poor people. Then kick them out of their state houses. YOu vote for parties to cut wages and benefits and then donate to food back. Some sick form of indulgences you buy?

          • Well said Anker .I help at Chch city mission and see the effect of the Labour miss mannership. Those on the left need to own the mess they made.If they had done a good job with the majority they had the Rifht would not have regained power no matter how much they spent

            • Trevor you should essentially come out and say what you know is true. For the have nots, or not much, Labour have been way too much like National.

            • You vote for a party that cuts wages, benefits and throws people out of state housing, and then work for charities. How do you square that? Perhaps you should have voted Labour so they can impose a better welfare system

          • The hospital employees, the teachers and police plus beneficiaries call you out Anker. They are way much better off under Labour than they ever will be under National.
            Those charities should never have evolved but for right wing parties.

        • Heehee, Millsy…the right voters will lose nothing, NZ will be a better country with National at the tiller steering NZ in the right direction (you do know, in all polls of the last year or two, showed a negative 50+% ‘Is NZ going in the right direction’.)
          A good clean out of public servants is a good thing, bloated govt Depts always happen when Labour are in Govt. (With fuck all to show for the extra needless staff)

            • It will be for me squeaky/Bert….I really don’t give a fuck about anyone else’s situation, I vote for me…not the feckless and unemployable, your vote can do that….and how did that work out?

                • Selfish to who?
                  Everyone votes for themselves..do you vote solely on what others expect of you, like a lemming?
                  If so, you get what you deserve, health stats in NZ at its worst after 6yrs of Labour, but you are happy with that Squeaky/Bert because it was who you voted for after all.
                  Citing National/Key of 7+ yrs ago just show how much out of touch and an idiot you really are.

          • New Zealand is having really hard time of it. Whether it be a second harbour bridge, light rail. Roads to no where. Kiwi build. The water works. A nes hospital. Nurse, teacher ploive and firmen wages. doubling base load energy. What ever it is new Zealand will have a hard time of it. In Australia infrastructure the vast vast majority of infrastructure is paid for by GST and federal money/superannuation you just won’t get that in New Zealand because you’ve gone to far right.

        • Labour will never reform if you keep voting for them milsy. Think of it as chemotherapy, its brutal and is bad short term but the desired result is cutting out the cancer

        • Labour abandoned their own base, and most other kiwi’s with it. Our education and health systems have been depleted beyond recognition by Labour, homelessness has risen to historic levels. But don’t worry, because we out woke the world.

      • Winston Peters is a disingenuous old fart. It’s f’ing laughable that he accuses others of lacking transparency.

      • ‘Theyre’ not the left. They’re the mentally challenged kids of muddle class beneficiaries of the working class of days gone bye.

    • Winson ruled out working with Labour. There is no way he would back-peddle that very definitive statement that he made numerous times.

    • Because Labour are such a pack of losers at this point that they’ve totally given up. They didn’t think they were going to win in 2017 and probably can’t even see the possibility of winning this year. At the very least they should tell the media they’re calling Winston just for the lolz.

      In fact they should do it so they help strengthen his hand against the extreme right.

      Or maybe they’re playing the long game and want the right to dominate so the the eventual swing back to them will be strong and powerful – but I doubt it

      • On that we agree.
        Under him and Jacinda Labour is a poor copy of National . The power of Greens and TPM will drown Labour out if Labourvdoes not change .I do not agree with the philosophy but it needs to be there and be strong to keep National on its toes. They need a leader with the conviction of Little without the anger to get their message across.

    • I think you can answer your own senseless question. If not, look back at 6 years of crap and going nowhere. Why would you want that again? Oh I get it…you’re a masochist.

  3. Money has ruined New Zealand’s democracy. Politicians make to much money in parliament then make shit loads more out of it. Voters are sick of it. Don’t even try and tell me New Zealand is one of the finest democracies in the world look at the fucken numbers you gronks.

  4. You are bang on when you say that Chippy’s bullshit refusal to increase the capacity of the State to deal with the challenges we are all confronted with by taxing the rich, is inexcusable as a Labour Leader. For this reason, after a stabilisation period, there should be a reassessment of who should be leading the party forward.

    Labour need to grow some balls and have some spine to develop policy that promotes progressiveness not competitiveness – bottom-up rather than top-down … the voters have spoken and Labour need to move away from their pitiful incrementalism and general wimpiness.

  5. NZ first should go into coalition with TMP as a block and have labour give them confidence and supply. Winny as pm and co-deputies Chris and Rawiri. No promises broken and wouldn’t the look on baldy and be bop’s faces’ be delicious.

  6. Can I have a dollar for every time Luxon says “strong stable” whilst shaking his head?
    What a train wreck of a stand up post-election result announcement.
    The very opposite of “strong stable” hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  7. Shane Jones, Northland Debate whispered, “They may not vote red mate, but their necks certainly are”.

    He’s right. Between the Covid deniers, the tractor brigade, the ‘we’ve treated you like shit with roading and other infrastructure for a 100 years we know you’ll still vote for us’ mentality, they’re dumb.

  8. Wow what a mindfuck of glorious horrendousness your wondrous article was Martyn, thanks for exploding my brain cells with this Halloween Nightmare before Xmas Political Horror Show? At least with the Special votes now counted, we will get the Shotgun Wedding & chaos of watching the weasel Seymour & Peters at each other’s throats for the next three years, how delicious, it’ll be Halloween everyday for the next 3 years, if we live that long? Winston is the perfect Tripwire that will lessen the Neoliberal damage that the NACTZI’s will subject NZ too? But you know Martyn I wouldn’t worry about it to much as the Geopolitical situation is looking grim because when all else fails, they take you to War & Western Neoliberalism has failed, it’s nothing more than a Rich mans scam which is collapsing on a Global scale? With the US being the black Heart of the Neoliberal economic Religion, this bankrupt Financial theology is now leading the World into Global collapse, the US after catastrophically failing in Ukraine is attempting to initiate WW3 by using the Israel Gaza conflict as a pretense to attack Iran & if that happens, it’s WW3 as Russia & China will go to War to support Iran & the Oil & Petroleum won’t be coming out of the Sea of Homuz any time soon then every Neoliberal, Disaster Capitalism, Western economies will go up flames & NZ along with it? But what the Hell, NZ & it’s Proletariat Class & poor are the Gazans of the South Pacific & our NZ is a open air prison as well, we live in a Apartheid Nation of those who are rich & own Houses & those who don’t, the only thing missing is the Bloodshed? Our Jailers are the rightwing tyrants now in charge of this cursed Country! And I wouldn’t want to be in charge of the Country when this Crisis happens which will dwarf anything the COVID Pandemic crisis brought us, National & its Proxies have swallowed a dead rat, enjoy Armageddon kiwi’s, brought to you by the NACTZI-NZ LAST Alliance of Arseholes?

  9. So happy to have got rid of the undemocratic ideologically driven (critical race theory, gender ideology ) govt.

    i believe that is a big reason Kiwis voted them out. That and Labours inability to achieve anything other than their think big failures such as Whata Ora and the polytech merger.
    People are over woke politics.

    • Wishful thinking Anker. Unfortunately most of my workmates support woke politics- mind you, I work in tertiary education.

      • In what capacity, Pope? A cleaner is likely to be more tolerant than you. Maybe consider finding somewhere just as bigoted as yourself to work instead? A lobbyist for Act, perhaps?

        • Logical reasoned argument are obviously a bit higher on the evolutionary ladder
          Never mind, if the left had got in we would all be sliding back to the primeval ooze.

    • Fuck you Anker. You are just a frigid prude who opposed any form of public ownership, better welfare, high wages and social progress. Fucking scab.

    • What did National achieve during their 9 years besides a low wage economy and underfunded infrastructure?
      Yep that’s what I thought, fucking nothing Anker , you are as balanced as a one armed bandit.
      Fuck even the thick fuck KCCO is praying for you, you should be worried.

  10. National and act need to be respectful or we could end up with a 2017 result. lol Offer winny PM and the job is done.

  11. Time to give up on politics and look into homesteading, vanlife and liveaboard sailboats. Let civilization collapse.

  12. The very worst thing about the election, for me at least, was that it was embarrassing. How embarrassing was it. Oh my God. And how embarrassing and humiliating are we? The beautiful girl-country goes out with the ugly guy-public and all the guy-public can do is scratch his balls while making fart noises as he toys with his mullet.
    The reason why we now have a dangerously pathetic rabble of jovial fools overseeing how our taxes are never seen again is because it’s we who are the fart noise ball scratching mullet fiddlers. And as we fart, scratch and fiddle an elegant gentleman several tables across has sent a note to our beautiful girl-country and asked ” Dump the loser and become a red hot republican with me. All you have to do is put on this red dress and lie on your back.”
    To you dull minded morons who voted for the nactzos and the Machiavellian confederate prune traitor to his people. Serves you fucking right.

    • Very poetic? cb and on the nail – hammer, hammer. If all the alert, compatriot-builders in NZ could come together with commitment to the country and each other, we could make an alternative NZ that would be practical, friendly, reciprocating and co-operative. We need to have a central communication point that isn’t Facebook or any mean, efficiency-profit driven or private charity driven type or plutocrat owned place.

      Then we need to form a group that insists on commitment with no wandering away to some other fascinating idea, and there would be exclusion – it wouldn’t be for everybody who had a brain fart or was mad at the gummint. So realistic decisions would have to be made requiring application to join made; freedom of thought and brain storming but decisions made according to parameters that would be for the good purpose of the group.

      Think, the stone masons and builders formed a society centuries back for all the seasoned, responsible members, and it had serious rules that had to be followed by members. It became powerful and is still going, and is a brotherhood there. Something similar for us, that is open to all genders who are committed to the group, its aims would not be religious but at the base humanist with ethics and values based on religious ones with individual respect; helpful to each other but not excluding the rest of the world. A great extended family.

      Go novel? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principality_of_Hutt_River
      …an unrecognized micronation in Australia, proclaimed on 21 April 1970 when farmer Leonard Casley declared his farm to be a sovereign state, the “Hutt River Province”….
      In 2017, Casley’s claim to rulership was taken over by his son Graeme, who dropped the claim to sovereignty on 3 August 2020…
      It seems more an act of rebellion that would be unlikely if our government was more the executive arm of the organised group of politically educated thinking people. At present it is wan avenue for the ambitious, educated without elucidation leading to flatulence.

      The book Commune by Olive Jones is non-fiction definitely, tells its success and then how it was brought down by fart noise ball scratching mullet fiddlers. It’s recently published, about $32, and sets out the experiences of someone from an ohu back in Lange’s day, one of his great ideas diametrically opposed to dugless.

      Get self-help going – paying into a united group that offer assistance when needed.

  13. Hoping for a red/green/brown/black coalition to keep the looney right out of power would seem to be logical for the left, but too many egos are involved and that particular scenario has as much chance as the pope getting circumcised. It’s time for Labour and the Greens to take a long hard look at themselves and work out where their support comes from. Then they must tailor their policies to that support base. If they don’t, they’re going to be in opposition a long time. It’s also time for the unions and CTU to get politically active again. If that means cutting the crap out of the current Labour Party, then so be it. The beneficiaries and lower paid need a proper voice in politics; they don’t have one now, and if they don’t get one soon, look out for real political violence in this country.

  14. Te Pati Maori and the greens are really the future. I think James and Marama should go and we have some real people who are not hungry for being ministers but hungry for real left wing change.

        • No, Christians like you are. You want to ban abortion, transgenderism, birth control, sex scenes in movies, sex education, un married couples loving together, sex outside marriage, alcohol, etc and so on. I know that you would clamp down on all that and have us all following the Bible.

            • Well you could have fooled me. YOu hate the idea of anyone having sex for fun and you want it stopped at all costs.

              • Ive got news for you.
                LGB is a same sex orientation and has been accepted into society for decades.
                The T is not a sexual orientation.
                It is a political identity ideology based on fetishism, cross dressing and mental illness. If they would just shut the fuck up and get on with life like the trannies of old, and I know a couple personally, there would be no problem. Instead they want all of society to change for them and insist on indoctrinating children without parental consent into their sick death cult. The demarcation for most people is children. Stop lumping the LGB with the T for credibility.

                  • Because validating the T in children leads to a life of dangerous drug dependency, sterilization and genital mutilation.
                    Forcing children down an irretrievable path that they are too young to consent to is essentially child abuse.

      • “Social progress v racists, LGBTphobes, mysoginists, prudes, wowsers, creationists and rich pricks”

        So that’s N-Lovers, queers, feministas, libertines, drinkers, atheists and poor cunts v racists, LGBTphobes, misogynists, prudes, wowsers, creationists and rich pricks. Nuance? Respect?

    • Or short term greedy individualists vs long term community minded.
      Or, even more bluntly, below average intelligence vs above average intelligence.

      • Who says Masterminds are better at being useful, fulfilled, happy citizens? The short word nous might be what we need to measure to work out the viable and unviable. Higher intelligence – university – may go together but need to mix in understanding as well. Understanding of the narrow results for knowledge when individual disciplines are followed in depth. Breadth of knowledge is disregarded – note dropping Humanities and especially Social anthropology and Social ethics and psychology in favour of hard STEM. Carbon footprints are greatly talked about but the depression of society that neoliberal footprints cause is daily observed, needs discussion!

  15. From the frying pan….pfffff
    Better enjoy your feelings of happiness #Anker while they’re there. We’re on our way to hellish times.
    Thank you -NOT- for voting for these criminals.

  16. When ‘New Zealand’ is mostly represented by Labour you can’t wonder at the outcome. Would rather eat dry flour.

  17. Wonder how many wokester public servants and “consultants “ will be packing their bags and buying a one way ticket to Melbourne ? Could be some bargains on Facebook marketplace such as gender identity propaganda books, vegan cook books and shitty furniture that smells like cheap wine, weed and lap dog excrement

  18. On that we agree.
    Under him and Jacinda Labour is a poor copy of National . The power of Greens and TPM will drown Labour out if Labourvdoes not change .I do not agree with the philosophy but it needs to be there and be strong to keep National on its toes. They need a leader with the conviction of Little without the anger to get their message across.

  19. Well whatever,the new coalition of 3 wise men is fabulous for all New Zealanders,bringing to an end Labours reign of secret agenda.

  20. There is no redundancy in the economy like the last time the Tory scum went ideological purist on the economy. This time round they going to wipe it out, a bankrupt society is on the cards if they good full purist.

  21. Old New Zealand would be Winston’s muldoonist crony capitalism all the others are neo-liberals with the odd tinge of greenwash.

    The only way Luxon and Seymour can implement anything close to their full program is to make Winston PM. It’s obviously on the table. Winston’s experience, OK Treasurer, good Foreign Minister, good Deputy PM, named after a great leader, originally tipped to be the Nationals first Maori PM.

    And if Luxon and Seymour don’t agree he could always be the first Maori PM, a centrist in bed with the Left Bloc.

  22. Anker, you are are gutless coward who refuses to say whether or not you support National and ACT’s plan to get rid of Fair Pay Agreements, meal breaks and to freeze the minimum wage. You also refuse to oppose the removal of free prescriptions and defend the public provision of healthcare. I also not that you have not condemned the murder of George Floyd. I’m guessing you are a racist who supports lynching.

      • Blessed Bob the moron, I didn’t think Bob could get any sillier but for the first time in my life I was wrong.

  23. Thanks’ Martyn,
    I had such a good laugh reading this article.
    Brilliant .. I loved it.
    With these decidedly ‘ Unwise Three Men ‘ about to form the new Government, we won’t have much to smile about.
    Keep up the good fight brother, and your great sense of humor.

  24. ” Labour need a deep dive into what the fuck went wrong, and they’ve put together a team to do that, but I’ve already heard from people involved that it is a huge waste of time and won’t answer any real questions or throw up any real solutions. ”

    Yeah pretty much what I expected from the party members , MP’s and the current leadership.

    The change required to re build the party into a clear alternative to what we will get in the next three years and break from the immediate past since 2008 and 17-23 is just not going to eventuate and they will continue to languish with the Greens ( with Chloe leading ) and with support from TMP will provide the only opposition to what LINO and NACT represent and more Kiwis are turning away from what the purple parties continue to advocate for and only deliver for the the entrenched privileged and managerial class.

    • Both Labour and National are pro-war parties. The pro-war stance of both these parties they think is not a big deal. .

      But it is a divide that can only grow wider and wider, to differentiate our two war parties from our anti-war Green and Maori Parties.

  25. It’s a good thing the left got their arse whipped. It’ll put aggressive zealot lefties like Millsy in their place. What a nasty piece of work.

    • You are the nasty piece of work supporting parties that want to cut welfare, social services, and slash wages.

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