A salute to Simon Bridges

35
1957
Simon tripping up Chippy on the first day of Jacinda's Parliament

News that Simon Bridges is resigning is a great loss for National and a greater loss to NZ politics.

In another life, I think Simon Bridges would have been an actor.

He has a natural talent to perform and we saw that on the first day of the first term of Jacinda’s Government when Simon pretended to count Labour, Green & NZ First MPs in the House and claimed they didn’t have the numbers  to elect Trevor Mallard as the Speaker.

By lying through his teeth, Simon managed to gain vast concessions out of Hipkins on the very floor of Parliament that handed National huge numbers on select committees they weren’t going to get.

He also showed his flair for performance when he held the entire country’s attention hostage by drip feeding the Treasury website hack over a week and humiliated Grant Robertson in the process.

He summed up the aspiration that the National Party pretends to represent and he had more chance of regaining middle Nu Zilind vote than Judith or Muller ever could.

The manner in which Judith smeared him and attempted to use a Me Too harpoon to damage his reputation was fucking disgraceful and a reminder of how carcinogenic she is.

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His book was a surprisingly tender and intellectual reflection on masculinity in NZ that deserved far more attention than it received.

I didn’t agree with a lot of Simon’s policy but I respected his intelligence and humour. NZ politics will be a lesser place without him but I genuinely believe he will be amazing at whatever he moves onto next.

A salute to Simon Bridges.

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35 COMMENTS

  1. Would be a great mayor for Tauranga or indeed Auckland. Didn’t have enough horsepower or likeability for the PM role. Alas will end up in some corporate advocacy role or head up an SOE like his old mate Power.

    Got into politics far too early and would been much better waiting 10 years or indeed running a small business to give him more depth economically.

    Nicola Willis as shadow Finance will confirm my vote for Act next election. Following on from the poor man’s Gordon Brown you would think Fester would stay away from beltway politicians running the country’s finances.

  2. Easy to take cheap shots at chancers like Soymun–oops!–heh, see…but parting can be such sweet sorrow really–nah not at all actually. He was a classic Natzo, totally in tune with the party and their secret trusts, bent candidate selections and shovelling all wealth possible upstairs.

  3. What do you mean “in another life” he’d have been an actor?
    He, like many of his peers always was one.
    He’s done himself and his family a big favour – they can have him back after his little dalliance into poltiks.
    With a bit of luck he’ll be setting an example. Just so long as he doesn’t go back to being a Pleece Prosecutor.

    He and Anne should shake and rattle each others dags and decide who should next stand for Mayor. of the Tearang-ga. Soimon would have a youje following, and it’d be well deserved. Trouble is, will wifey and the kuds go along with it

  4. Yes, he will be missed by many.
    The Greens really showed themselves up with their appalling video mocking Simons accent – he sounds like what he is – a part Maori working class Westie. Not good enough for the sneering supercilious Greens apparently.

    • David George – After Elizabeth Kerekere’s dreadful maiden speech the Greens are in no position to sneer at anybody. Simon will be able to hold the door open for Elizabeth on her way out.

      • Please get rid of Elizabeth K. Dumb thesis.

        Was it stupidity or arrogance that lead to her breaking covid rules. Ffs coming to parliament when you are a close contact bloody outrageous

        • Anker “ Was it stupidity or arrogance that lead to her breaking Covid rules “. Must you make this an ‘ either’ ‘ or’ situation ? Why not both ? Or neither ? Why not that sense of entitlement which places certain sorts of persons above the law when they get themselves into Parliament ?

          However I do agree with your view on her thesis and think that the decision to relive Elizabeth of her health portfolio is a wise one, especially when her “Dr” moniker may have lead some to think that she has medical qualifications when she does not. Back to the undergrad common room.

  5. Thanks Martyn, the look on Bennett’s face is classic: “do I smell wee wee or did one of us step in something bad on the way in?” Either way, using #metoo as a weapon is most cowardly and offputting.

    • Yes gin hag I agree – marvellously revealing image. Simon looks fresh and clean and up to Nationally-tricky as well. But when looking at Labour, he’s not so bad. Could be the new Winston Peters, we might be glad to have Simon back if we don’t see any better style in the next edition. Maybe in another vehicle – EV modern fit for our era.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYVxrLPCBWU

  6. One of the few politician who seemed to understand what the conversion practices bill is really about, voted against it and therefore can have a clear conscience when the truth comes out about the irreversible damage being done to children who medically transition.

    Thank you Simon

    • Too true Anker. The passing of that bill – opposed by only 8 courageous MPs including Bridges – is a terrible indictment of our House of Unrepresentatives.

      • Anker and Pope P. How very right you both are, and Simon must always be remembered for his efforts to stop the premature sexualisation of innocent young children and the dismaying consequences for parents who feel likewise. As a normal sort of man, and the father of a young family, and educationally well grounded, he is in a better position to evaluate these issues than the LGBTQ extremists who dominate Parliament, and who may cause heart-breaking damage so totally unnecessarily.

  7. Classy article Martyn, and no for once I’m not being sarcastic.

    Bridges made plenty of mistakes, but he faced the consequences stoically. He has a sharp mind and he actually stood for something other than money – and was prepared to stand up and be counted.

    As a working-class Kiwi he was in a small minority in NZ’s current parliament. Unlike so many of his colleagues he understood the realities of life for those on struggle street – people who have to send their kids to low-decile schools where gangs are recruiting. As a crown prosecutor he understood that Maori are overrepresented as VICTIMS of crime – unlike middle-class liberals who tweet frivolously about “defunding the police”.

    I’m sorry to see you go Simon, and I wish you the very best.

  8. ” News that Simon Bridges is resigning is a great loss for National and a greater loss to NZ politics ”
    Bomber your to forgiving. While I respect your generosity of spirit its more than Bridges ever showed in his time in politics.

    He was a participant in a government that ran rough shot over the rule of law , sanctioned an all out attack on their critics and political opponents through a dirty tricks campaign that you cant deny he knew all about and supported.

    Was prepared as minister of energy to pass legislation banning off shore anti fossil fuel protests and his rage during John Campbells interview with regards to Anadarko and the destruction these companies were responsible for.

    In April 2014, environmental activist group Greenpeace launched a campaign calling for Bridges to be removed as Energy and Resources Minister over an allegation he approved potential oil and gas exploration in Victoria Forest Park, West Coast, but later said he was unaware of having given the approval.[27][28] Opponents perceived that Bridges had wrongly approved the exploration in a sensitive area, however this was denied by Bridges and John Key.[2

    Campaigned for National promising no tax increases then went on to lift GST hurting many thousands of kiwi families.. A self described compassionate conservative he sat by while National continued to take the stick to the growing underclass and economic casualties of their vicious neo liberal policies while many of their donors and wealthy parasites sucked all they could from the many hardworking kiwis contribution to the market economy. Bridges was prepared to knife his own colleagues to justify his position and was close to Jamie Lee Ross.

    On 9 March 2015, when a by-election was scheduled to be held in the Northland electorate on 28 March, the National Party candidate Mark Osborne announced with Bridges (then Minister of Transport) that National pledged to upgrade 10 one-lane bridges in the region at a cost of up to $69 million.[30] Opponents criticised the government for using its advantage inappropriately in the Northland by-election campaign, especially since it was later revealed that Bridges had asked officials for information on the 10 one-lane bridges days before the announcement. However, John Key defended the request because Bridges had sought factual information rather than policy advice, which is permitted under the Cabinet Manual rules.

    On 13 August 2018 Newshub reported that Bridges had spent $113,000 in taxpayer money on limousines and hotels between April and June 2018. (His expenses were higher than normal because he was travelling around New Zealand on a ‘getting to know Simon’ road-show.

    If he is a loss to the National party and our politics then that statement shows just how shallow and corrupt this country has become where we will tolerate contestants like Bridges who will never be remembered for actually achieving anything worthwhile that made a real difference to New Zealanders.

    Now he decides to leave a precipitate a byelection a mere fifteen months after the general election in which he was voted in for three years and has now decided to thrown in the towel like his idol Key.

    He did excel as an actor and should get an award. The majority of kiwis never rated him as a leader and that is undeniable.

  9. ” News that Simon Bridges is resigning is a great loss for National and a greater loss to NZ politics ”
    Bomber your to forgiving. While I respect your generosity of spirit its more than Bridges ever showed in his time in politics.

    He was a participant in a government that ran rough shot over the rule of law , sanctioned an all out attack on their critics and political opponents through a dirty tricks campaign that you cant deny he knew all about and supported.

    Was prepared as minister of energy to pass legislation banning off shore anti fossil fuel protests and his rage during John Campbells interview with regards to Anadarko and the destruction these companies were responsible for.

    In April 2014, environmental activist group Greenpeace launched a campaign calling for Bridges to be removed as Energy and Resources Minister over an allegation he approved potential oil and gas exploration in Victoria Forest Park, West Coast, but later said he was unaware of having given the approval. Opponents perceived that Bridges had wrongly approved the exploration in a sensitive area, however this was denied by Bridges and John Key.

    Campaigned for National promising no tax increases then went on to lift GST hurting many thousands of kiwi families.. A self described compassionate conservative he sat by while National continued to take the stick to the growing underclass and economic casualties of their vicious neo liberal policies while many of their donors and wealthy parasites sucked all they could from the many hardworking kiwis contribution to the market economy. Bridges was prepared to knife his own colleagues to justify his position and was close to Jamie Lee Ross.

    On 9 March 2015, when a by-election was scheduled to be held in the Northland electorate on 28 March, the National Party candidate Mark Osborne announced with Bridges (then Minister of Transport) that National pledged to upgrade 10 one-lane bridges in the region at a cost of up to $69 million.[30] Opponents criticised the government for using its advantage inappropriately in the Northland by-election campaign, especially since it was later revealed that Bridges had asked officials for information on the 10 one-lane bridges days before the announcement. However, John Key defended the request because Bridges had sought factual information rather than policy advice, which is permitted under the Cabinet Manual rules.

    On 13 August 2018 Newshub reported that Bridges had spent $113,000 in taxpayer money on limousines and hotels between April and June 2018. (His expenses were higher than normal because he was travelling around New Zealand on a ‘getting to know Simon’ road-show.

    If he is a loss to the National party and our politics then that statement shows just how shallow and corrupt this country has become where we will tolerate contestants like Bridges who will never be remembered for actually achieving anything worthwhile that made a real difference to New Zealanders.

    Now he decides to leave a precipitate a byelection a mere fifteen months after the general election in which he was voted in for three years and has now decided to thrown in the towel like his idol Key.

    He did excel as an actor and should get an award. The majority of kiwis never rated him as a leader and that is undeniable.

  10. Won’t be missed…tried to model himself on Key…and failed.

    He said he was an expert on…body language!…ha…ha.

    The deal he did with Anadarko showed how fucking useless he would have been in…finance.

    His best moment was referring to Bennet as Paula Benefit!

    • I too am cynical about him. Oxford and Harvard in his degree(s) yet he spoke like a klutz. As Leader of the Opposition, he claimed that (over Covid) the Govt’s “medicine is worse than the cure”. Obviously stuffed up – what he meant was that the cure was worse than the disease. Yet he insisted on what he had said for 2 -3 days before he finally admitted he had stuffed up. He was never leadership material.

      • In Vino – A lot of the Kiwi “ Oxford educated “ persons have done their under- grad and sometimes post-grad work here in New Zealand, then spent a year or two, at eg Oxford, doing MA’s, Hons, or completing or failing PhD’s, which is very different from the Oxford collegial experience as a full-time student. Even the Rhodes Scholarship recipients can be a bit suspect – it helps to have been an All Black. I would love to name the good New Zealand judge, Canterbury grad, who apparently should have been awarded a Rhodes Scholarship a long way back, but was pipped by a med student – I knew why, but have forgotten.

        I check the educational qualifications of sub-par politicians, and the ‘Oxford education’ description can involve a bit of hyperbole, and I frequently assume that the hopeless pollies are from the University of Waikato, but am sometimes wrong on that! Tragically, in New Zealand, university isn’t what it used to be, and it can be difficult trying to figure out quite what some educational institutions with only Maori names are, or what they purport to do.

  11. He was a small dull fart in a half empty cinema showing a boring film depicting institutionalized hardship.
    The Daily Blog is lessor for its salutations of the little shit.

  12. Can you really see Simon reporting to Luxon for his regular performance review? I think he has, rightfully , spat the dummy.
    I never saw anything good in the way he operated and am glad another nasty nat has gone.

  13. Star Wars analogy time.
    Bridges and Luxon are to Key, what Darth Maul and Darth Vader were to Palpatine.
    Watching helplessly as the Smug Assassin anointed Luxon as the Chosen One, his political aspirations died that day.

  14. At least National politicIan can move on to well paid roles ex Labour MPs have to try and fine another spot in the public trough as they have little to offer any public companies.

  15. Bridges was struggling the first day he spoke. Remember Jack asking what internal policies contributed to the NZ’s inflation. He responded that the $6bn fund labour hasn’t spent yet was the reason and made some other irrelevant comments. Bridges is a monrgel and Bulley and would have made a good speaker.
    Goldsmith was a failure and ummed and ahhed his way thru his incomprehensible rhetoric.
    The mystery homeless man Woodhouse was useless and never made an effective contribution.
    Bailey has an understanding of finances but has no character or charisma and could not articulate his message.
    Willis will struggle with finance and her her creative use of numbers will be her undoing.
    I’snt Bennet an accountant – despite being of no consequence he may be their best bet.
    In summary, the Natz and Act have no capable finance spokesperson to justify their tax for the rich policy.

  16. Agree Martyn 100%.

    Didnt like his politics or him when he was Leader but found that his time in exile brought out the best in him and even I have to commend him for his intellect and leadership when the Nats were imploding under Crusher.

    His sense of humour and common sense also became more apparent via the media (Mumble, mumble the working group) and I wish him well for the future. He has had a lousy 12 months on a personal level but has fronted up and pushed through repeatedly. He deserves a rest and I think would be a boon to the media (if that’s where he ends up) as he can mediate middle class wokery with aplomb. He delivers common sensical rhetoric in a depersonalised way that leaves those baying for blood with little room for manoeuvre.

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