Alpha CEO clad in Lycra ambition, Todd Muller’s unusual excitement at winning his long coveted dream to usurp the democratic process by House of Cards machinations and rule forever got off to a rocky start as he accidentally tripped and fell into the lava chamber of Mt Doom.
All National Party Leadership spills have traditionally been held in Mordor and Todd’s was no different, but the moment he had the leadership he started madly dancing around on the lip of the Wellington volcano screaming, ‘My precious, my precious’.
He is said to have accidentally tripped on Matthew Hooton’s tongue and fallen back first into Mt Doom’s famously hot liquid magma.
As he fell under 30%, he spluttered something about beating Jacinda in September and thanked the Father, the Son and the Holy Farmer for his win.
His last gasp before being swallowed by a river of golden basalt slag was, “I even wrote a book as a 10-year-old that saw me elected vice president, become president upon the very unfortunate death of the then-president and then go on to serve 13 consecutive terms.”
Todd Muller is survived by his ego.
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“As he fell under 30%, he spluttered something about beating Jacinda in September and thanked the Father, the Son and the Holy Farmer for his win”.
Well done Martyn.
Yes I do think Todd Muller is a ‘short term placeholder’ Martyn, just to make way for ex PM Key’s chosen man waiting in the wings; as St. John Key has already anointed Christopher Luxon as the PM-elect, so Luxon now only needs to get into Parliament and that’s why Muller is the ‘short-term place-holder’.
Can’t do any worse than Bridges. Maybe a Luxton-lite when it comes to business experience but CEO and senior management experience will have business leaders taking him seriously and an apprenticeship in PM Bolger’s office (which sounds like ancient history) both count in his favour.
His already announced tactic of attacking Labours 17 empty chairs means that this government will have to take him very seriously
Todd who…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Even then kids story about wanting to be PM sounds like a rewrite of Key’s boyhood PM dream.
Todd whats-his-name is like a clone of Key’s ideas in the body of Brash’s crypt re-appearance.
But wait, the cloned DNA is getting more and more compromised, and the retold personal leader stories more muddled, like someone messed up the script.
It’s kinda a grey reused script in a tired grey body.
Wake me up when the dirty politics come out, which will probably when they open the border cos Natz are too grey and unimaginative to plan their own dirty work and like most socially reprehensible things in NZ, need to import it in, from some other right wing puppet leader campaign organisers funded by other countries and big business interests, around the world.
They will be opening more than the borders with TPP 2.0. It will not only be New Zealand’s environment they will mine, and rape but our bodies. All peoples who have been placed on benefit will be subject to a compulsory injection funded by the department of the defense, USA, as a test population. This is their mission statement. So please WAKE UP!
Bomber is worried.
That because of ongoing Jacindamania NZ will lack a foreseeable decent opposition.
I agree.
Agreed. Behind the thin veil of Jacinda, this government is incompetence personified, and everyone knows it. Like Morrison, Trump and Boris, this rally around the flag polling wont last. I hope the left is prepared for a fight.
But the fight will be one sided…might as well switch channels and watch yet another cooking program.
Face it , no matter what kind of smiling mask Muller and Kaye try to put on , underneath is the real face of The Joker, and people will run from them in September.
The reason we have a Labour lead Government was because of National arrogance personified. They were so 80’s. And therefore they were so incompetent, now at 29% everyone knows it!
He has political experience and has reasonably sound business leadership experience. He is going to resonate well with National supporters. His already indicated tactic of attacking the ’17 empty chairs’ in the Labour cabinet is a clever one. Not to be under estimated
Peter;
25 empty seats and heads in ‘National’ plus a Chinese Government spy—-that’s a fun result when counting heads???????
Labour wont be worried with that score silly.
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/121586172/todd-mullers-expenses-show-he-is-spending-like-a-leader?obOrigUrl=true
Todd Muller’s expenses show he is spending like a leader
It fascinates me how many of the commentators seem to despise National voters but claim to know what is going on in the party behind the scenes. I am also interested at the claim to not be racist or bias then remark Todd is a white catholic ex businessman as though that is a problem and make him less worthy.
…’ I am also interested at the claim to not be racist or bias then remark Todd is a white catholic ex businessman as though that is a problem and make him less worthy ‘…
Yes, I have no problem with him being who he is and his personal faith beliefs, it is irrelevant (to me anyway).
However, I think we have a fair idea what is / has just happened / ‘what is going on in the party behind the scenes’.
They have polled twice in a row indicative of an unpopular party, which is divided, ( despite the new leadership ) and that does not have sufficient policy’s four months out from a general election, – and in which a new untried leader is going up against an incumbent who also happens to be one of the most popular leaders / PMs this country has ever known.
it could be history repeating itself if we go back to Jacinda’s rise and Labour victory . I have no personnal knowledge of Todd so will see how he performs under pressure .It will be a difficult job to go up against Jacinda but if it were me I would hoe in o n the poor performing ministers that back her
Mr Muller is a born to rule tory, conservative with religious affiliation. He does not present as inclusive or particularly tolerant. 21st Century people, women in particular, will make their minds up on that angle. But really, he ultimately represents international and local finance capital first and foremost, like every other NZ National Party leader since their founding in the 1930s.
Todd will be carpet bombed online as the National spinners develop his backstory–like our previous glorious ex leader–“donated his salary to charities” except he didn’t of course.
I don’t despise National voters, Trev. Don’t understand them, perhaps. Find it sad and disappointing that they continually feel compelled to vote for a party that has elevated selfishness, beneficiary bashing, flogging off everything that isn’t nailed down, and looking after the big end of town at the expense of everyone else to a religion, definitely. But despise? No. Pity, more like. Their ambition for this country seems sadly lacking.
‘Creeping slowly under question time’ during channel three’s “Nation” today showed Mr Muller was not a clear speaker as much as his carefully prepared speech was yesterday.
https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2020/05/todd-muller-to-take-on-small-business-portfolio-if-elected-prime-minister.html
As many have said before, ‘it would need to be a well spoken leader that National needs’ – and this was not shown in Mr Muller’s muddled performance under the spotlight on News hub’s Nation’ today 23/5/20.
As far as I can see Todd Muller has background and electoral support from the agricultural sector. At the best of times the general public wont vote for a farmer and that community is especially disliked now. If he starts throwing money at the farming community he stands no chance of winning an a election.
He actually seemed better than I thought he would (only watched half though). I expect Hooten, and others have been doing some intensive coaching. What is that pink tie about?
I don’t know, but somehow seeing another middle aged man in the leadership role of National with a woman trailing silently behind him…made them look at lot like 1950’s NZ after seeing Jacinda’s vibrant leadership style. I guess people over 70 might feel at home with that but I dunno about the rest of us.
So Todd reckons Kiwis will vote for the party with the best policies.
Well NATCCP had better get on with it then. They haven’t had any since 2008
National have had very clear policies for decades:
1. Encourage the looting and polluting of the commons by corporations and opportunists, and declare the intention to make the looting and polluting of the commons easier by ‘cutting red tape’.
2. Encourage the transfer of wealth from those who have little to those who have far too much via tax cuts for the wealthy and transfer of costs to the general populace through cuts to funding of community services and disestablishment or privatization of environmental and social welfare programmes.
3. Enact legislation to remove community welfare from legal requirements of district and regional councils as per the amendment to the Local Government Act of 2002 and replacement by the Local Government Act 2012. Yes, National actually did that!!! -removed the welfare aspects of legislation, thereby sanctioning degradation of the environment and construction of entirely inappropriate ‘infrastructure’ by councils! Of course the vast majority of the populace are totally unaware, which is just the way National like it.
3. Present faux narratives to the populace and blatantly lie about practically everything they do or plan.
4. Ensure there is no debate (public or within the party) on any of the key issues of the times we live in -Planetary Meltdown* and rapidly worsening energy predicament, ocean acidification, loss of biodiversity etc.- via rigged agendas and censorship .
5. Provide opportunities for scientifically-illiterate and economically-illiterate deadbeats and exploiters to acquire wealth at the expense of the populace via cronyism and political appointment.
6. Render the Earth uninhabitable for humans as quickly as possible via promotion of archaic thinking and anti-environmental policies geared to maintaining or increasing emissions of greenhouse gases (both locally and globally).
*’It Hit 80 Degrees In The Arctic This Week’
‘This story will provide important context for the headline, and I encourage you to read it—but really, the headline tells you what you need to know: It was 80 degrees Fahrenheit above the Arctic Circle this week.
A little farther south, in Siberia—you know, the region of world we reference when we want to connote something cold—it was 86 degrees Fahrenheit. Arctic sea ice in the neighbouring Kara Sea took the deepest May nose dive ever recorded. Oh, and random swaths of the region are on fire. Things are extremely wrong.
Let’s start with the heat above Arctic Circle. Mika Rantanen, a researcher at the Finnish Meteorological Institute, flagged a map showing blistering heat across western Siberia. The region has been the epicentre of an explosive heat wave that has rippled across the Arctic this week. Models forecast temperatures there will be as much as 36 degrees Fahrenheit above normal for this time of year. The heat could break a bit by the middle of next week, but widespread warmth will continue to grip the region.’
https://www.gizmodo.com.au/2020/05/it-hit-80-degrees-in-the-arctic-this-week/
Was left scratching my head as to why National would promote this guy’s background as a former Fonterra executive. Is he really trying to secure the farmers’ vote, given they’re non-too-thrilled about this greedy corporate monopoly that’s been fleecing their livelihoods?
Just another privileged, rich, old, white guy that just like Simon, can’t read the room.
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