Simon Bridges National Leader: Winners & Losers


Simon Bridges and Paula Bennett are the new Leader and Deputy of the National Party. Who are the Winners and who are the Losers?



Generation X – Finally, Gen X have taken out Boomer politicians and have taken control of the National Party.

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Let us sing brothers and sisters…

Oh happy day (oh happy day)
Oh happy day (oh happy day)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
He washed my sins away (oh happy day)
Oh happy day (oh happy day)

Matthew Hooton – Simon Bridges is Hooton’s protege, with Bridges in as leader, the Hoots has more power than ever before. Expect a far smarter and quicker attack strategy.

Simon Bridge’s working class accent –  For every cosmopolitan elite dickhead on twitter who mocked Bridge’s working class accent, they don’t seem to understand that such mocking only turns all those working class votes they pretend to care about against the Left.

Ben fucking Thomas – With the rise of Hooton that means his jovial pet will be boosted from the magnificence of SpinOff podcasts to the set of Newshub’s Nation more often. Expect to hear lots more of Ben being jovial about Simon Bridge’s contempt for gay people and late 20th Century human rights advances.

Union bashing – With Hooton’s advance, expect the war on the Unions to heat up. He is a far smarter tactician and better practitioner of the dark arts than Bill English could muster up.

Auckland – Paula and Simon have strong ties with Auckland, National’s advance into Labour territory will continue and National will stop sounding so tone deaf to urban concerns.



Judith Collins – That shrill, bone chilling, soul gnawing, fingernails on a blackboard sound you hear is Judith Collins sharpening her knives. Her team of political sadists destabilised Bill English and all they got was this T-Shirt. They want blood.

Cameron Slater & Simon Lusk – The tag team of hate are reportedly incandescent with rage at the way Judith has been cheated, they are immediately planning a hit on Paula Bennett.

Paula Bennett – She will become the immediate target of these two above, expect her to be crucified on Whaleoil so she has no choice but to step down to be magically replaced by Judith.

Greens – The immediate play towards the Greens was smacked down, but the danger is Bridges will continue to play this game and strip Green votes. With them currently scrapping the 5% threshold, National know they just have to take a percentage off them and the Greens could collapse as a political party in 2020.

Steven Joyce – Hooton despises Joyce because he has stopped him making money for 9 years. Mr Joyce is about to be dropped from a great height. Hell hath no fury like a right wing consultant scorned.



Judith, Paula and Amy – Simon will be Bridges over troubled daughters.

The Left on social media are already writing Bridges off. That is foolish. Hooton is smarter than the tacticians we’ve faced before, sure the attack blogs will kill Paula and place in Judith, but National under Simon still has the chance of toppling Labour with better tactics.

Bridges is a social conservative with repugnant views to anyone with a basic education, but he appeals to 40% of the country and if Bridges can turn policy into a culture war all Hooton has to do is hit Left wing groups that voters associate with the Left to amplify that culture war.

The next election will be fought on trumped up values, not policy.


  1. “The next election will be fought on trumped up values, not policy.”

    You mean like the last election? Come to think of it, every election for as long as I can remember? As I went to great pains to emphasize here in 2017, the right (and the Hillarati of the centre) always gain when political news coverage is focused on celebrity, scandal, and other surface stuff. We must not allow the next election to become the political equivalent of Married at First Sight. The left do better when public debate is focused on policy, policy, policy!

  2. I was repulsed when Key was our PM – i would be feel the same if Bridges was the PM.
    It would be like de ja vu for the country – same lying B’S with nothing accomplished except more poverty.
    The last thing it needs!
    Let’s hope the genXer’s and the millenials get this.

  3. You keep writing the Greens off Martyn. I believe there are sufficient numbers who despise the Nats and who still can’t trust Labour(since 1984) to hold the Greens above 5%,along with young voters.

    • I agree. The Greens are the only voice of the progressive movement and that movement isn’t going to go away any time soon

  4. “they are immediately planning a hit on Paula Bennett.”

    Is this for sure? Mr Slater comes across as highly loyal to Slater. If the leaky Ms Bennett can feed him material to satisfy his shoal of piranhas she may survive.

    If TOP became more solemn by name…

    Wouldn’t it be neat if there was another credible and effective conservative party, not too overloaded with religiosity and tradition, to collect the kilim from under National’s trotters and head to the polls to win.

    Yeah…. There’s about time enough. And National voters are not homogenised blue by any stretch of the imagination.

  5. “Expect a far smarter and quicker…” what? Don’t leave me hanging like this!
    Also “have string ties ” – small typo there.

  6. Where does Winnie sit, will NZF survive through the next Election Cycle especially with Labour now at 48%, and the Economy making strong
    gains ?

    Is this the end of Winnie and NZF ?

    • Hehehe… I think you and I both know the answer to that ,… as in ,… does night follow day and is the sky blue?

      We have a Peters who facilitated this current govt , and a Peters who doesn’t particularly like the current Nat party crop , and a Peters who still has some old scores to settle with them…

      Peters would have to be carried out horizontally from parliament before we ever see the last of that cunning silver fox …


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