Panama Papers: Matthew Hooton’s Alternate Universes on Twitter and Radio NZ





On 8 May, Martyn Bradbury posted the below screenshot, with an associated story (<a href=’’>Matthew Hooton and the Panama Papers – why does he sound so frightened?</a> ) .

Reading Matthew Hooton’s “tweets” and his re-Tweets of other comments – many of which seemed to verge on the hysterical  – it was apparent that our favourite right-wing commentator was beside himself at what the Panama Papers had uncovered (and continues to uncover);

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Matthew Hooton - twitter - panama papers

[Image courtesy of Martyn Bradbury]


There is a preternatural volcanic fury from the Right – many, if not most, of whom  view taxation as “theft” and tax-havens as a legitimate counter to governments  who cheekily demand tax from it’s citizens and corporates.

The same Right believe that taxation is “wasted” on “frivolous” matters such as public health, public education, welfare, environmental protection, housing the poor, etc. Only funding for Police and the Armed Forces is considered justified. (To protect their hoarded wealth from increasingly poor , frustrated, and angry workers.)

Rather surprisingly, Hooton’s comments were toned-down for Radio NZ’s Nine To Noon political panel on 9 May;


Political commentators Mike Williams & Matthew Hooton - radio nz - nine to noon panel - 9.5.16

(alt. link)


Listen to Hooton’s participation on the panel, and compare his measured commentary on Radio NZ versus his  irrational sniping on Twitter.  It’s almost as if we’re seeing and hearing two completely different Matthew Hootons from Parallel Universes; our Earth and Earth 2.

Earth 2 must be a lovely place to live, if Matthew v2 is anything to go by.





Twitter: Matthew Hooton

Twitter: Mark Hubbard

Libertarianz: Taxation

Libertarianz: Justice

Libertarianz: Defence

Radio NZ: Nine to Noon – Political commentators Mike Williams & Matthew Hooton  (alt. link) (audio)

Previous related blogposts








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  1. Herald this afternoon , John Key kicked out of debating chamber for shouting and refusing to stop when ordered to by speaker.Key refused to apologise for insulting charities cited in Panama papers.
    How conveinient to be kicked out when the questioning got uncomfortable,
    his screaming bullying paid off, Carter was either brave or primed.

    • One little face for the public and another for his friends and another little face for his puppet masters and another little face for TV and another little face for the online media and another little face for his lobbyists friend and another little face for politicians and so many sides and faces of Tooten Hooten – ( intentionally misspelled ).
      Fragmented personality – dancing and jumping as high as they tell him to
      and always with a smile on the face. Who is Hooten Tooten?
      Does he know ?

  2. Herald this afternoon , John Key kicked out of debating chamber for shouting and refusing to stop when ordered to by speaker.Key refused to apologise for insulting charities cited in Panama papers.
    How conveinient to be kicked out when the questioning got uncomfortable,
    his screaming bullying paid off, Carter was either brave or primed.

  3. Frank:

    He panders to different audiences in different ways, I suspect. And quite deliberately so.

    How many “Nine to Noon” listeners have Twitter accounts? (I for one don’t).

    The National Party is very much in “damage Control Mode” at the moment.

    – M

  4. Love the cartoon, Sudent loan defaulters, paperboys and girls must repent!

    Meanwhile on planet Key, Multinational companies and hidden trusts are tucked away with halo’s over them.
    And that nice Mr Slater gets to work with children.

    In 20 years time will Key be convicted for his war crimes?

  5. Yes, We do often see Hooten swap changing moods as if he is tending to copy a mood change/schizophrenic possibly.

    He has some good days and bad days so guess he is a troubled man.

    CHIEF OF STAFF: “Knock, knock, knock…are you there John…I’ve been thinking about things a bit…and I’m just wondering what we should do about the torrent of dodgy money from South American politicos and drug barons, being deposited anonymously into NZ trusts? I recommend firm action…”
    JOHN: “go away…I’m sleeping.”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “It seems our foreign trust laws, which allow the mega rich to deposit money here, on which they officially get taxed at a rate of 0%, allows them to tell their own tax departments, that tax has then been paid on those funds, albeit at 0%. And did you know that the company that now supplies hospital food for southern DHB, only pays 1% tax in NZ.
    I sure wish I could pay only 0%, or 1% tax. It seems the longer we occupy the ninth floor, the more corrupt everything is becoming. I recommend taking some decisive action…”
    JOHN: “don’t bother me…I’m getting some shut eye.”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “Just because all the trusts in the Panama papers that were set up in NZ, were properly registered, is meaningless. They were registered by NZ law firms on behalf of Mossack Fonseca, so you would expect it was done correctly.
    We only know the front people setting up those trusts, but not the beneficial owner who is putting the money in, or whether it’s dirty money. For example, none of the Caribbean banks would touch the Maltese dirty money, which eventually found a home in NZ.
    Is that the kind of reputation NZ needs? It just seems that you’re not looking into anything too deeply, just like you don’t want to look into poverty, or foreign buyers locking kiwis out of real estate.
    Maybe you should explain things better, so you don’t appear to be on the side of the rich elite, who like anonymity, and a 0% tax rate.”
    JOHN: “explaining is losing…there are tons of good reasons why someone would want to set up a foreign trust in NZ. For example they may have a dodgy government, or dodgy laws, or a dodgy currency…avoiding tax is not the only good reason. It’s perfectly understandable.”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “So would you be okay with kiwis doing the same thing, by moving their money to offshore tax havens?”
    JOHN: “no way…that’s immoral, unethical, and unlawful…what are people insinuating…their crapulence is stark raving barking bonkers?!!!
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “Calm down John…calm down…and count to 10…do you need to take another pill…I’ve got my own emergency stash of mogadons downstairs?”
    JOHN: “no thanks…I’m good…but if you’re going downstairs, can you do me a favour, and take a dump in the speakers chair?”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “I’ll see what I can manage. Earlier today I took a long distance call from someone named Pablo Escobar, who wanted to know if his money was still safe to leave in NZ…”
    JOHN: “I don’t see why not.”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “And what about when you said that Green Peace had also used Mossack Fonseca…that was a complete lie, wasn’t it…I mean…that was just some scammer who used the Green Peace name in a scam…it all got explained in court…”
    JOHN: “no biggy. I guarantee that no one has done anything wrong, and this whole foreign trust stuff, will blow over in next to no time.”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “Are you now lying?”
    JOHN: “no, I’m sitting…”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “I mean, are you being false?”
    JOHN: “no, I’m speaking in my normal pitch”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “But was that a porky?”
    JOHN: “no, I had some mutton for din dins…It was yummy.
    By the way…I wanted to tell you about a bird that looks like a vulture, which has started perching outside my office window ledge, and pooping everywhere. It keeps watching me, as if it wants to peck my eyes out. I’ve named the bird, Nicky the conspiracy theorist…can you have maintenance do something about it?”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “I’ll get right on it. You no what…it wasn’t just Nicky investigating the Panama papers, there was also Vance, RNZ and TVNZ…maybe they were all in on the conspiracy…perhaps that can be our little conspiracy theory. Do you care to mention what you’ve been working on this evening?”
    JOHN: “I’ve just been playing a game of downfall, on my iphone. I can’t even get past the first level. Where was Bill today…I haven’t noticed him about?”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “I last saw him taking your BMW out for a spin, around noon.”
    JOHN: “dammit…he’s got his own car!”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “Yes, but Bill says your one goes better…he’s quite the enthusiast.”
    JOHN: “really…I didn’t realize.
    By the way, what’s that faint skretching sound I keep hearing at this time of night…do you have any idea?”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “Oh it’s coming from Judith’s office. It sounds like she’s sharpening something. She’s been doing it quite a bit lately. You know our Judith…always wanting to be prepared…she’s so dedicated…she just loves giving back double…saying she’s getting ready to commit a Weldon…whatever that means…I’m sure she’s coming up with some great plans.”
    JOHN: “can’t she do her sharpening at home?
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “She told me it’s job related…just out of curiosity, how tall are you John?”
    JOHN: “why do you ask?”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “Um, er…I’m um…I’m measuring you…yeah, I’m measuring you up for a suit…yes, that’s right, I need your measurement for a new suit.”
    JOHN: “but you’ve never done that before…”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “Well John…circumstances change…it’s a very dynamic environment…one minute your cock of the walk, and next you’re a feather duster…
    I simply want to make sure you’re well attired for any eventuality…by the way, what religion are you?”
    JOHN: “church of the holy patron saint of greenbacks”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “I haven’t heard of that one”
    JOHN: “well, it only has a 1% following…very exclusive.
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “I see.”
    JOHN: “what’s that tune humming, Chief of Staff?”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “It’s a song called…The Bigger they are, the Harder they Fall.”
    JOHN: “sounds catchy”
    CHIEF OF STAFF: “Right you are…goodnight John”
    JOHN: “back at ya…”

    • Nice one, Kate!

      What a pity some offshore scumbag hadn’t set up a money-laundering trust with Mossack F before the leak, and then slapped the label “John Key Family trust” on it.

      I’m pretty sure that FJK would then be happy to talk about the disconnect between how a trust is labelled and who owns it.

      A notion that he was clearly not willing to entertain during question time in Parliament yesterday while he was so busily obfuscating with respect to the bogus trusts that he kept raising as a smokescreen to his own government’s inaction.

  7. Oh …. don’t we all just love these cozy indoor chats while the rain is gently coming down outside…

    Nestled in over a nice hot cup of coffee, … how delightfully convivial.

    A friendly little semi informal and civilized exchange of ideas such as one might have during a lull time at work at some quiet small rural business…

    ” It really shouldn’t be a worry if a few foreign billionaires have their cash in trusts here – and don’t have to pay tax – why should they? Ha!!! – then they can declare they’ve already paid tax their own govt’s – good on them , I reckon ! ”…

    ” Pretty smart, I’d say – wish I knew how to do that” said the youngest.

    ” Its made round to go round ” …chimes in another.

    ”Yeah…whats all the fuss about ?” one of them said when adjusting the cushions.

    The rain gently falls…

    ” Another round of coffee would be great ” , someone says…

    ”Pshaw… and what if the PM misrepresented a few facts about some trusts using charity’s to avoid paying that little bit extra back home… cant they take a joke down there in Wellington ? ”…

    ” Yes… I think their taking the whole thing a bit too seriously to be honest – still – they do say some of those trusts could be used for child pornography and human trafficking rings”… said the one who previously had adjusted their cushion.

    ”And some hysterics are mentioning arms deals and even illegal drugs ”! said another.

    ”Pfaff ! … over-reactive imaginations ! ” … suggested another. ”Next they’ll be blaming all those trusts for withholding cash from govt coffers!, – ridiculous !!!”

    The rain grew a little heavier as the dark clouds slowly gathered creating an even more cozy ambiance to the setting…

    ”Coffees up” said one.

    ”Cheers for that” said another..

    There was one of those comfortable lulls in the conversation as each sipped quietly on their coffee and pondered whimsically on recent events that had become the topic of conversation they were currently enjoying…

    There had been many times like this they had met together to solve the problems of the world in cozy companionship over a nice cup of coffee , this being typical on a mid winters day…they had known each other for a long time and were comfortable in the fact.

    Coffee’s finished , and having reached an impasse in conversation, they considered the time and decided to amble back and wait for a customer..

    ”Still… they’ll work it all out, … no real concern” …. one finished.

    ” Yes – worse things happen at sea ,- I think we’ll have to do a price adjustment in time for the stock take on Thursday” … agreed the other.

    ”Yes , I’m sure they know exactly what their doing – not long til knock off anyways ” …

    And then as they always did at this time of day they discussed what they had planned for the weekend ,… and as they did… the rain got heavier and the sky grew darker…

    ” Must be in for a spell of nasty weather ” said one.

    The others mumbled their mutual agreement while furtively casting looks at the clock on the wall signalling knock off time.

    And as they did… the distant sound of thunder could be heard…

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