It’s a known fact that children see things differently to adults. We often admire the way they see things in such simplistic, logical and sometimes hilarious ways. It could be a developmental thing, or just their lack of experience but I think we can all learn a thing or two about life or the world just by seeing how the children of our world sees it.
Ok, sometimes their thinking is a bit too simplistic in which case we explain the reality of the situation to them. Children tend to see things in quite an egocentric way, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. They haven’t yet grasped the idea that other people live different lifestyles to them. So from that perspective, it’s always fascinating to see how they react to the wheelchair and realizing that there is such a thing as ‘difference’. Some responses are just too cute. For example, ‘you should take Panadol because that’s what we have to do when we’re sore’ or ‘my cousin broke their leg but they’re walking now so why cant you have an operation too?’
Some think it’s the coolest invention ever, some even said I was lucky because I didn’t have to walk long distances. Some want to go for a ride on my lap and make car engine noises and others jump on the back and ask me to zoom as fast as possible down a hill (don’t worry, I’ll never do that). But the most fascinating thing I find is the way their whole behaviour changes as soon as they see the chair, even those really energetic ones. They’re so intrigued with the whole mechanism because for most of them they’ve never seen such a thing before. They constantly ask questions like ‘why are you in that?’ or ‘how fast does it go?’
I love their openness and honesty. They’re at that awesome stage when they say whatever they want because they don’t know what’s appropriate and what’s not. But the thing is that I don’t even find it offensive when people ask questions, in fact I encourage it. Some adults are reluctant to ask because they think I would get offended, which I understand, but I would rather have you ask me whatever you want to know in order to open your understanding of disabled life.
The funniest thing is catching adults staring at the chair, and then they see that I’m looking at them, and they quickly look at the wall, expecting me to believe that they were just staring at the bare wall for the past five minutes. I don’t mind if it’s a passer-byer in public and they just have a glance to see what its all about. But sometimes as social events people just gawk. Often I even notice their children want to talk to me but they stop them from doing so, which is ultimately stopping them from learning. This could possibly be because they think it’s too rude to ask me about it. I can understand why they feel like they need to keep their distance for fear of making us feel like a charity case or that they’re getting too personal but if you approach us the right way and don’t ask awkward or extremely personal questions we won’t have that problem. Also most of it comes down to acknowledging that I am a whole person and the disability is only one aspect of our being.
Other people may have a different opinion about this but personally, I would much prefer having an honest conversation rather than being stared at. It’s a way of educating the public about how life is for us. As we grow older we lose those innocent qualities that all children hold, the ones where you can ask an innocent question without the other person thinking you have an evil agenda. Curiosity isn’t and never was a bad thing. Not one person in history knows every last thing there is to know about the world. Adults are constantly learning just as children are and when it comes to how we learn and the way we see things, I think in some cases we can all afford to unleash our inner child.
Good article, Latifa. Pretty much my own view of questions. I think people have the right to ask any question they like. What they don’t have is the right to expect an answer that they’ll like.
When my son was small, I had friends and acquaintances who had all sorts of differences – a gay couple, a thalidomide guy, a guy with one leg, another with one arm, and so on. My son said he felt really lucky to meet and know all these special people, because he was experiencing things that many of his friends never had.
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