Dorkland, Dorkland Über Alles!

By   /   March 4, 2017  /   32 Comments

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PLEASE NOTE: This is satire. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to real events, is entirely accidental.

THE AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY EUROPEAN STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (AUESA) is more likely to be a student prank than an Alt-Right outrage. Certainly, its mild-mannered spokesperson sounded altogether too apologetic and accommodating to be a genuine Nazi.

His polite application for a stall at the Orientation Club Expo bears all the hallmarks of a young, suburban Pakeha male somewhat shamefacedly following-through on a late-night, ill-considered exercise in faux-fascist brainstorming involving him, his mates, and altogether too much alcohol.

Far from being alarming evidence of stormtroopers on campus, AUESA is much more likely to be just one more sad example of the sort of “casual racism” that still permeates huge swathes of Pakeha society. That, and the bizarre fascination the iconography of the Third Reich still exerts upon the imagination of young white men.

Writing the script for this sort of nonsense is depressingly easy:

THE ACTION takes place in the basement recreation room of an impressively large dwelling in deepest Epsom. The house belongs to James’ parents. Like himself, James’ friends, Tim and Carl, are Grammar old-boys. All of them are about to begin their second year at the University of Auckland. James is studying law, Tim marketing, and Carl history. The young men are sprawled around a low table upon which stands an expensive bottle of tequila, numerous quartered lemons, three shot glasses and random drifts of salt. The floor is strewn with green stubbies and empty pizza boxes.

JAMES: “I reckon there should be a club for whites. Somewhere to celebrate European culture.”

TIM: “Yeah! If it’s okay to have a Maori Club and a Kiwi Asian Club, then how come it’s not okay to have a European Club?”

CARL: “We should form one!”

TIM: “Yeah, we should. God, imagine how freaked-out all the politically-correct types at AUSA would be.”

JAMES: “Not to mention the media!”

TIM: “They’d go nuts!”

CARL: “Ooh! Ooh! I know something else we should do!”

JAMES: “What’s that?”

CARL: “We should set up a Facebook Page and make it look like ‘Stormfront’ – you know, full of Nazi symbols and shit like that.”

TIM: “With lightning bolts and swastikas and a thrash-metal soundtrack!”

CARL: “Fuck yes! The lefties would think that the Alt-Right and Steve Bannon had taken up residence in the Varsity clock-tower!”

JAMES: “Nah. Too much. We’d get into all kinds of trouble. We need to be more subtle.”

TIM: “Yeah, you’re probably right. Bummer.”

JAMES: “What about using Celtic, as opposed to Germanic, symbols?”

CARL: “Yeah! Great idea! And we could have a motto – like the Hitler Youth’s motto: ‘Blood and Honour’!”

JAMES: “No, no. Too obvious. How about ….. ‘Strength through Honour’?”

CARL: “In a Gothic font!”

TIM: “Brilliant!”

JAMES: “You realise we have to do this now.”

CARL: “Absolutely! We have to!”

JAMES: “Gentleman, please be upstanding and raise your glasses to ‘The Auckland University European Students Association’.”

ALL: “The Auckland University European Students Association!”

JAMES: “Strength through Honour.”

ALL: “Strength through Honour!”

PLEASE NOTE: This is satire. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to real events, is entirely accidental.

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32 Comments

  1. WILD KATIPO says:

    L0L !…. Always enjoy a Chris Trotter classic.

    I can see those students right now in my minds eye at the flat with the low table and the pizza boxes, bottle of Tequila and the empty stubbies guffawing loudly at the whole affair !!!

    ( never went to university myself but had them in the metal band I played in ,… wonderful bunch of colorful , crazy creative bohemians ! )

    There are two sides to this :

    One is… there’s actually nothing wrong with the concept. Whats good for the gander is good for the goose. The only perquisite being is that ALL are welcome. Therefore it becomes also a cultural exchange exercise as well as a place to hang out.

    So , … the message is this : harden the f@#k up and stop being thin skinned , all you ‘ need a cause’ identity types.

    The other is :

    This is the University. Most are young and have a tradition of being well meaning Larrikins and pranksters – and no matter how much the ‘chip on their shoulder ‘ brigade with their faux moral outrage protest , the fact is if your going to protest one club then you better shut them all down.

    University’s are a melting pot, and a microcosm of many of the lifestyles and ideas in society . And generally – the populations there are a pretty inclusive bunch.

    And might I remind some of these complainers of the absolutely sterling efforts made by the multicultural , multi racial STUDENT ARMY in the clean up during and after the Christchurch earthquakes.

    THAT’S THE SORT OF THING people need to be focusing on ,… and not the blighted , neurotic , whining attitudes made by a small handful of miserable individuals who just want something to complain about in order to justify belonging to the latest in- group for the morally self righteous .

  2. Nitrium Nitrium says:

    That analysis sounds about right. Lots of faux-outrage everywhere. Did anyone seriously think this group was a sort of NZ chapter of the KKK? Dare I say it, Fake News?

    • Nick says:

      Actually, Trotter’s image was way worse that a branch of the KKK or an Alt-Right cell.

      He is talking about casual, unthinking racism, which allows this kind of nonsense to flourish.

      There may be nothing wrong with Cultural Groups, promoting values springing from heritage but there certainly is something wrong with Ethnic Groups mimicking outrages of the past.

      This is not to demand their silencing in any formal way, but imitating or reflecting the past should at least require some attempt to understand the past. If this is any more serious than Prince Harry dressing up as a Nazi, and even if it is no more than that, they need to be called out. In anger, or in mockery.

  3. Archonblatter says:

    The singing of the old European University song Gaudeamus Igitur will no doubt soon be prohibited. Such a silly, mournful, philisophical, whitey piece of nonsense. Translation:
    Therefore/ let us be joyful/ While we are young/After pleasant youth/After troublesome old age/The earth will have us.

    Where are they who before us?/Have been in the world?/ Go up to the heavenly regions/ Or cross over to the hellish ones/ if you wish to see them.

    Our life is brief/ It will end shortly/ Death comes quickly/ Cruelly it snatches us/ no one will be spared.

    Here is George Orwell’s essay on fascism. What a crummy old white man he was.

    http://www.orwell.ru/library/articles/As_I_Please/english/efasc

    • D'Esterre says:

      Archonblatter: yes, I have fond memories of the “Gaudeamus” song. Sung at universities in my late mother’s time, but not when I was a student, sadly.
      Orwell had it exactly right regarding fascism, didn’t he. A relative observed: “the Fascists themselves struggled to define their worldview with more clarity than ‘we do what we find convient'”.

  4. OncewasTim says:

    Look at me look at me!!!!

  5. e-clectic says:

    How depressing that we have to explicitly flag satire as such.

  6. LibbyS says:

    It was a good excuse for the lefties on campus to feel like they were fighting fascism and a good excuse for the “alt-right” to feel persecuted. Just virtue-signalling all around….

  7. Castro says:

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/australia/90056065/chinese-drug-syndicate-members-charged-over-record-300kg-drug-haul-in-australia

    “Make no mistake, these people have no regard for the safety of our community, and they are killing our community just as surely as if they were holding firearms.”

  8. What’s that old saying, “too much time on their hands”?

  9. fatty says:

    Yes, it was probably all a joke.

    However, I know a lot of foreign students at a university in NZ and they live in fear of racism. They experience racism often. These sorts of jokes do impact on immigrants (or those who look like immigrants) – the outcome of such jokes are basically no different from the real proposals put forward from the likes of Kyle Chapman.

    I’m glad to see there was outrage against this.

    • Andrea says:

      It has ever been thus in this delightful xenophobic country. You don’t even need to be brown…

    • OncewasTim says:

      …..”I know a lot of foreign students at a university in NZ and they live in fear of racism.”……
      Like you @fatty, I know of many, and not just at ‘a’ university.
      Unfortunately they don’t just live in fear of racism from the likes of pathetic little fuckwits whose only ambition seems to be to excercise their egos, but also from a policy machine that brings them to NZ, then exploits them, then chucks them out.

    • D'Esterre says:

      Fatty: “….they live in fear of racism. They experience racism often.”
      Here’s a quote from no less a person than Matthew Whitehead, over on The Standard: “….racism requires bigotry and institutional power set against you.”
      What many of us have experienced here in NZ is bigotry. Xenophobia, even. It is part of the human condition, sadly. But this is not a racist society: our laws and institutions of power do not systematically favour, for instance, whites over all others. We do not have apartheid here.
      “I’m glad to see there was outrage against this.” This has been a great big fuss over nothing. People really need to stop with the overstatement and overreaction. If universities aren’t allowed to be bastions of free speech – which, in order to be free, must be unqualified – then we’re all in trouble.

      • fatty says:

        “But this is not a racist society: our laws and institutions of power do not systematically favour, for instance, whites over all others.”

        Really? So how do you account for the vast discrepancies between Pakeha and Maori? If it is not systematic (or systemic), then what is your explanation?

        Most of our laws and institutions are based on individual freedoms and eurocentric practices.

        “We do not have apartheid here.”

        I’m sure we all agree on that.

        “This has been a great big fuss over nothing. People really need to stop with the overstatement and overreaction. If universities aren’t allowed to be bastions of free speech – which, in order to be free, must be unqualified – then we’re all in trouble.”

        Ah, the ol’ libertarian free speech argument. Tell me exactly where free speech was denied? Isn’t it free speech to protest and resist? Isn’t free speech having the right to speak out against power in all its forms? That’s what occurred. The free speech from the protesters altered the situation. Those who were going to start the club changed their mind because protesters exercised their right to free speech. Good. Glad to see free speech in action.

        I see your arguments all over Fox News. Not impressed, sorry.

        If you’re concerned about the limitations of free speech at universities you should consider the way universities are shaped by market forces. Their ability to be the critic and conscience of society is silenced though neoliberal values…but that’s not your concern is it? You seem to have ants-in-your-pants over promoting the rights of white cultural groups. Lolz. I’ve got no time for libertarian versions of free-speech.

      • reason says:

        Your obviously white D’Esterre …..

        And never get pulled over by the police all the time based on your color …

        The police themselves have admitted their Racism …. the statistics sort of forced them to. http://www.police.govt.nz/sites/default/files/publications/police-perceptions-of-maori.pdf

        And you don’t have to look far for other New Zealand examples
        http://thehandmirror.blogspot.co.nz/2016/10/tamariki-raupatu-and-legacy-of-margaret.html

        http://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2016/10/louisa-wall-don-brashs-maori-policy-in-denial-of-history.html

        As for the little leather boys and their goose step club at Auckland University …..

        Those wanna-bes distract from the facist supporters in our Government.

        It was very fitting that the fonder of Mossak Fosenca, the tax haven money laundering firm of the Panama papers was a Nazi …

        We are officially “natural partners” to Indonesia, https://www.mfat.govt.nz/en/countries-and-regions/south-east-asia/indonesia/

        where mass murderers walk free and boast ……”this isn’t individual insanity, this isn’t individual monstrosity. If there’s insanity here, it’s collective. If there’s monstrosity here, it’s political. This boasting is a symptom or a manifestation of impunity.” http://deadline.com/2016/02/look-of-silence-joshua-oppenheimer-oscars-interview-1201696228/

        And we are helping the rebirth of Nazis in Europe … this lot in particular https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-RyOaFwcEw

        We are supporting them with Sanctions against the people they are attacking ….

        Who are these people https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8veOzd39VWI

  10. The white supremacist have re-branded themselves as alt-right and Breitbart ex-employee Milo Yiannopoulos has re-framed hate speech as free speech

    In my opinion these young men are internet savvy users no doubt and semantics from the likes of Milo are liberating to young white males that feel disenfranchised by the emergence of Maori rights and other rights of minority groups.

    I am not saying that that what their reasoning are as they have stated but racism is a real issue to minority groups and universities in the past have allowed white nationalist narratives to become a mainstream topic.
    For instance Universities allowing the Author of the controversial book Ancient Celtic NZ written by a Treatygate supporter Martin Doutre and collaborated by white supremacist Kerry Bolton without properly vetting and scrutinizing their findings which turn out to be a pack of lies so I commend the MSM for the first time and the University for bringing this to the attention of the public

    • Strypey says:

      Can we restate this as “Milo Yiannopoulos has re-framed harassment as free speech”?

      Because as it stands, you’ve made a very dangerous claim, implying that anyone who criticizes the use of “hate speech” discourse to increase state regulation of speech (eg the Harmful Digital Censorship Act 2015) supports the “alt-right”. The concept of “hate speech” has been hotly contested by a wide range of commentators, including many on the left:
      https://libcom.org/forums/general/my-schools-definition-hate-speech-11032015

      Freedom of thought and expression are essential pillars of any free society, as well as being fundamental human rights. If we want those who disagree with us to respect our right to speak our views, it’s hypocritical not to extend the same basic respect to those we disagree with. Defending this view is not the same as defending the *content* of any given instance of speech.

      • Maybe, Stypey, because it’s not the freedom of speech we are critiquing Milo Yiannopoulos for, but what he is saying with it.

        Hate speech is free speech only when you’re not targetted by it, and end up being verbally abused in the streets; assaulted; or shot, because someone translated what they heard through “free speech”, into violence.

        When Srinivas Kuchibhotla was (allegedly) shot dead by Adam Purinton shouting “get out of my country”, you can bet that the killer had framed his beliefs on what he had read/heard, as his motivations.

        It’s easy to excuse hate speech as another form of free speech when you’re not the one being targetted. I bet there are plenty of ethnic and religious minorities who might have a differing perspective. They don’t quite have our luxury to discuss such issues in a purely academic fashion.

      • Priss says:

        It’s easy to defend hate speech as free speech, Strypey, when you’re not on the reciving end of the vitriol and associated violence.

        I wonder if the Jews in Dachau were happy to know that at least the right to free speech was defended, when Nazis voiced their hate speech against Jews? Extreme? Not at all. Words have power, Strypey. Only a fool denies that reality.

  11. D'Esterre says:

    Fatty: “how do you account for the vast discrepancies between Pakeha and Maori? If it is not systematic (or systemic), then what is your explanation?”
    How long have you got? There’s a deep and complex history underlying the development of contemporary Maori society. Remember that Maori have had the vote since the 19th century: scarcely the marker of an apartheid society.

    • fatty says:

      “How long have you got? There’s a deep and complex history underlying the development of contemporary Maori society. Remember that Maori have had the vote since the 19th century: scarcely the marker of an apartheid society.”

      I’ll repeat, we all agree we’re not living in an apartheid society.

  12. Maori D'Esterre says:

    Fatty: ” Isn’t it free speech to protest and resist? Isn’t free speech having the right to speak out against power in all its forms? That’s what occurred.”
    No. What did occur was a huge overreaction, which caused the club members to close down the whole shebang. In another context, that would be called persecution; certainly it was intimidation. Freedom of speech would consist in allowing them to run their club, while disagreeing with them. If you really believed in freedom of speech, you’d have left them alone to get on with it.
    “I see your arguments all over Fox News.”
    Crikey! You can afford Fox News? I can’t.
    “Their ability to be the critic and conscience of society is silenced though neoliberal values…but that’s not your concern is it?”
    Well: that’s a bit of a leap of logic on your part. Best to ask about my motives for critique, rather than assuming you know what they are. That is precisely my concern: over the last couple of decades, I’ve watched the emerging pusillanimity of many of our universities when faced with issues such as this. It disheartens me: what’s happened to them that they’ll back down from a courageous stance at the first sign of protest from students? At least in this instance, the U of A was prepared to allow this group some headroom; it’s a great pity that the same couldn’t be said of many students and sundry shouting heads.

    • fatty says:

      “Freedom of speech would consist in allowing them to run their club, while disagreeing with them. If you really believed in freedom of speech, you’d have left them alone to get on with it.”

      That’s your libertarian version of free-speech again. Sorry, I don’t believe in the libertarian version of free speech because it ignores power discrepancies. I don’t think freedom of speech justifies hate speech (which is what this club was to many). For me freedom of speech is the right to speak out against power in all its forms – cultural, political, economic and social. Protest is free speech. The protesters spoke and their free speech altered the situation.

      “Crikey! You can afford Fox News? I can’t.”

      They’re free on youtube. A simple google search will link you to Fox News clips. I consume right wing media all the time so I understand their arguments. You should try some left wing media!

      “Well: that’s a bit of a leap of logic on your part. Best to ask about my motives for critique, rather than assuming you know what they are. That is precisely my concern: over the last couple of decades, I’ve watched the emerging pusillanimity of many of our universities when faced with issues such as this. It disheartens me: what’s happened to them that they’ll back down from a courageous stance at the first sign of protest from students? At least in this instance, the U of A was prepared to allow this group some headroom; it’s a great pity that the same couldn’t be said of many students and sundry shouting heads.”

      Why is that a leap of logic? You claimed that universities are cowering to protesting students, but this is a myth created by right-wingers and it’s not even remotely true. Students protesting at universities? Universities have become stale and placid. Student protests have diminished markedly over the past few decades, largely in part because they’ve become institutions that serve the market economy. Critical thought within universities has been suppressed and students today don’t protest as much as they used to.

      I’ve got no idea where you get this idea universities are filled with protesting students (Fox News-esq reports again I assume). Student protests were decades ago. The 60s and 70s was when students protested. Today’s university students struggle to complain about student loans. I’ve been trying to organise protests at university – believe me, the students are placid

  13. D'Esterre says:

    Strypey: “Freedom of thought and expression are essential pillars of any free society, as well as being fundamental human rights. If we want those who disagree with us to respect our right to speak our views, it’s hypocritical not to extend the same basic respect to those we disagree with. Defending this view is not the same as defending the *content* of any given instance of speech.”
    Exactly.

  14. D'Esterre says:

    Priss: “I wonder if the Jews in Dachau were happy to know that at least the right to free speech was defended, when Nazis voiced their hate speech against Jews?”
    Er….What? You are aware of what happened in Germany during WW2, aren’t you? This comment suggests that you aren’t.

  15. Right Wing politics is the curse of working people.I have never understood how working people consistently vote Tory parties to power.How is it that working class area’s very often record a large turn out for the Right and very often the far right.

  16. Jamie says:

    Lolz

    Rhetorical question time Trotter

    Is it still alright to publicly celebrate and be proud of your European heritage and culture?



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