I don’t wish to nit pick, but a shape-shifting reptilian alien would deny they were a shape-shifting reptilian alien wouldn’t they?

By   /   February 18, 2014  /   3 Comments

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Technically John Key did deny he was a shape shifting reptilian alien, but was silent on the ‘total enslavement of humanity’ bit wasn’t he?

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Now I’m no expert on shape-shifting reptilian aliens, but my understanding is that they are here to subjectate all Homo Sapiens by assuming the identity of all  leaders. Not really sure why they would do that and not just invade the planet and take all our water and fish, but conspiracy theories never have to make much sense. I assume they had a role in 9/11 as well.

Technically John Key did deny he was a shape shifting reptilian alien, but was silent on the ‘total enslavement of humanity’ bit wasn’t he?

John Key: ‘I’m not a reptile’
He’s been to a doctor and a vet just to make sure, but Prime Minister John Key is adamant he’s not a shapeshifting reptilian alien.

Mr Key was unusually forced to deny any previously non-declared extraterrestrial connections to reporters after an Auckland man put in an Official Information Act (OIA) request asking for proof he might be one.

“To the best of my knowledge, no. Having been asked that question directly, I’ve taken the unusual step of not only seeing a doctor but a vet, and both have confirmed I’m not a reptile,” a smiling Mr Key said today.

“So I’m certainly not a reptile. I’ve never been in a spaceship, never been in outer space, and my tongue’s not overly long either.”

I’ll believe John Key is a shape shifting reptilian alien when Colin Craig starts denying it and threatens to take legal action.

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3 Comments

  1. Andy K says:

    While saying in jest that he took the unusual step of seeing both a doctor and a vet to confirm whether he’s a reptile or not, ultimately backfires as it makes him appear to be someone not of sound mind.

    What’s more concerning? The leader of a nation who is a malevolent scheming extraterrestrial in disguise which denotes a being of high intelligence, or an insane human? Either way the nation lead is in a grave state.

    To confirm the grave state of this nation is reading nonsensical “news” items such as this when there are issues out there of great concern which in many cases are treated as trivial by leadership and media. Insane indeed.

    Forget shape-shifting ET lizard man, I can easily think of many colourful terms to describe the PM, all unpleasant and probably closer to the truth.

  2. Andrea says:

    PM speak with forked tongue?

  3. jane says:

    If you can get him in a light sealed environment (not a fridge though)
    turn out the lights, check if he can see to find the door: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2562951/Cats-dogs-sixth-sense-UV-vision-scientists-dont-know-use-it.html