Why is Andrew Bayly climbing a mountain? Is it a metaphor?
Andrew Bayly’s two-week holiday becomes three;
Some of my Press Gallery colleagues gave the Prime Minister a hard time on Monday for letting his endurance athlete and MP Andrew Bayly go trekking to Everest base camp after he lost his ministerial job (for grabbing a staffer’s arm).
It seemed a heartless response by journalists and Luxon stood his ground, saying Bayly had wanted two weeks to clear his head. He added: “He’ll be back here next week doing his electorate work as he’s expected to do.”
But it turns out he won’t be back at work until the following week – and that’s three weeks’ leave, not two.
I’m sorry.
But I just can’t stop laughing about National Party MP and Rascal Rogue Uncle whose face goes very red when he’s on the piss, Andrew Bayly is taking time off to go climb a mountain after he allegedly grabbed a staffer in a state that may or may not have been sober.
Not any old mountain mind you.
Mt Everest.
I mean.
Hard.
And, cool story bro.
But, what exactly is it that he is conquering here?
Sobriety?
Will he have a drink when he gets to the top?
I am fascinated that we are watching a Taxpayer funded midlife crisis meltdown in real time and I’m all here for it.
For whatever sins he has committed, Andrew is prepared to pay a penance.
I want to see all our fallen leaders commit to feats of courage and endurance to win back the favour of the masses.
Like a reverse Hunger Games.
Sated Vengeance.
I want him to push a Tractor up the country next.
The 12 tasks of Andrew
- Slaying the Nemean ewe
- Slaying the nine-headed woke monster
- Capturing the Ranfuly Shield
- Capturing the loose haybail
- Cleaning Parliament in a single day
- Slaying the Stymphalian birds
- Capturing the Cretan Bull
- Stealing the Mares of Diomedes
- Obtaining the belt of Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons
- Obtaining the cattle of the three-bodied giant Geryon
- Stealing three of the golden apples of the Hesperides
- Capturing and bringing back Cerberus
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You missed defeating the Waikato River Taniwha
Hilarious- Mt Everest? Or Rehab…..
I would love it if he shouts insults at Sherpas, then mysteriously disappears on the slopes of Mount Everest.
You’d think a few days in Te Puke or somewhere handier would do. The prime minister swears by Te Puke. Shangri-La among the kiwifruit vines
However, if it works and Bayly returns a better man, I think they should all go, at their own expense of course.
There’s not many workplaces where someone who stuffs up is rewarded by an extended vocation in a far flung place. This is a celeb-by-association photo op. Meghan Markle does similar sorts of things. But if he’s anything like his leader Luxon pretending to be in Te Puke when he’s really in Hawaii, Andrew might really be down the Southern Alps, or hanging out in the Antarctic Section of the Canterbury Museum.
Or maybe the penguin enclosure at Kelly Tarlton’s dressed in a dinner suit?
It’s his 40 days in the wilderness (truncated to 21) where he has to resist temptation before he returns as our Saviour. Then he will preach to us: “Benighted are the losers, for they will be scorned unto death”.
I guess he took a bottle of wine and fucked off.
This stinks of privilege and possibly even hubris. If the latter is the case, certainly won’t be crying.
He’s not climbing Everest, too short a time frame for that–what he is doing is hiding from his critics. Which of his colleagues will be next to go into seclusion?
Nicola Willis will spend 3 weeks in Argentina sitting at the feet of Javier Milei and learning the finer points of “chainsaw capitalism”?
My Aunties lawn in Westport needs a mow. Does he do requests?
Yes. The true penitent would be out there mowing old ladies’ lawns or digging their gardens, and without a camera showing him doing it. Or playing the piano for people in dayrooms in rest homes watching interminable television ads. Lots of oldies would welcome someone else just to read or talk with them from time to time with or without cameras. I think that Luxon even reads books to pre-schoolers, with of course, a camera showing him doing it.
Clearly Andrew is being groomed to be next leader of the Nats. He got the bottle of wine part right; I think that Key tried to give a bottle of wine, John Key plonk, to the waitress he harassed, and
at least Bayly says “Loser,” rather than Chris’s rather crude, “ Bottom feeder”, isn’t camera shy, and won’t need a particularly high reading level, just a change of pyjamas to flounce around in at Christmas, and perhaps a pink frock to show his feminine side. Pink becomes Christopher, but bird’s egg blue would do, or half-Everest ecru.