I’ve never watched a whole Super Bowl because I have a basic eduction and a reading age above 12, but I was thrilled that TVNZ felt NZ was a special enough member of the Washington Consensus to livestream the latest Super Bowl LVIII.
I knew this was an important Super Bowl because Fox News told me Deep State agent Taylor Swift was about to launch a deep fake attack on American Democracy and Donald Trump.
Super Bowl LVIII was an American Orgy of Late Stage Capitalism that didn’t disappoint.
As the Gladiators gather for Corporate Ceaser, it’s the little rituals that allow you to ignore a real time ethnic cleansing war crime by one of your closest allies. Watching the team members roll up in design clothing more expensive than my tertiary education is humbling and exhilarating at the same time, the perfect meritocracy of ability and profit return.
The Good Bloke Award handed out to the player who can make everyone forget about all the abusive NFL players who bash their partners and dog fight.
The Black National Anthem ceremony felt like an enormous attempt to gloss over the way they hounded Colin Kaepernick out of the game.
The Cheerleaders are all PornHub hot and Corporate Hollywood salutes corporate Sport with a song about America being great, which at this stage seems like a projection rather than a description.
The Military Industrial Complex accompanying Star Spangled War Chant complete with Jet Fighter fly over is so weird, they may as well roll out a nuclear bomb and collectively masturbate over it.
The game hasn’t even started yet.
Ok, so the game is on, it’s very data driven for all the sports betting taking place. It is short periods of action mixed with vainglorious rooster strutting afterwards.
Corporate Hollywood representative Taylor Swift is there helping broaden sales by accessing the all important boss babe female audience. You go girl feminism never looked so profitable.
Usher reminds everyone how great a dancer and singer he is. Usher was last relevant in the early 2000s which was when America was universally loathed after invading Iraq, so he’s a prefect choice. Lil John was the best guest of the evening.
The adverts are as important as lube at the Orgy of late Stage Capitalism, and this years selection spoke volumes of where America is at as it spirals into fascism under Trump.
Oreos, a website design company, an electric BMW, an electric Kia, Silk protein almond milk and broken Avengers, Beyonce, doughnuts, online content, a face moisturiser, Mountain Dew and Mr T.
Sounds like the perfect line up for Late Stage Capitalism.
Game goes into overtime, Taylor Swift’s boyfriend’s team wins.
America can’t provide free education, free health or global leadership, but they sure as hell throw a great Colosseum spectacle.
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The Superbowl is opium for the masses.
Can’t wait to see your YouTube Super Bowl Reaction video go viral.
“basic eduction” ?
I tried a super bowl once, too much soy and msg.
Staring at it for 3 hours? bugger that.
American football is the perfect capitalist game. Plenty of stops to insert advertising during TV coverage.