MEDIAWATCH: So ummmmm. Is anyone else going to mention that creepy ANZAC Day TV advert?

So.

Ummmmm.

Is anyone else going to mention that creepy ANZAC Day TV advert?

No one?

Groan.

Ok, I’ll do it then.

Ok, so the advert opens quite nice, quite warm.

It’s any one of the millions of mid range small Kiwi owned franchise service station with a voice over talking about the growing number of Veterans.

A chap strolls in and he’s unremarkable except for the fact he has a giant head.

Like a massive giant block of head in a Herman Munster kinda way, now, you don’t want to focus on it or comment on it because that’s not kind, and we want to be kind in Aotearoa NZ, so we refuse to engage or judge him for having a huge Herman Munster head, EXCPET FOR THE FACT that shit suddenly takes a chilling turn and his huge Herman Munster head is about to terrify the bejesus out of us all because as he opens the Freezer door for any number of well known branded drinks in a mid range small Kiwi owned franchise service station, a kid who is running around in the background accidentally knocks over a can and it hits the floor.

Now I know what you are thinking, you would immediately turn around and chastise the child for running around in a store and would ask the young tyke to pick up the can and place it back on the shelf and to be careful in future while glaring at the parent for allowing their child to run amok in the mid range small Kiwi owned franchise service station in the first place right?

It takes a village to discipline a child.

As you turn to the block with the huge head for support in your righteous telling off of that little brat for running around inside while their parent was doing what? Resting? Reading their phone? Doing anything other than controlling THEIR children – as you turn to Blocky for a bit of public support in this matter, you realise he’s frozen in flash back as he is reliving some horrific war crime he’s committed while participating in America’s latest corporate war.

MY GOD, LOOK AT THE HORROR IN HIS FUCKING EYES BRO!

WHAT DID WE MAKE HIM DO?

Was he butchering indigenous peoples for an American Oil refinery?

Now you can’t see anything other than his huge terrifying Herman Munster Head, he’s a metaphorical monster!

His huge monstrous head is a helmet of doom! A block of woe! A chunk of carnage! A drum of death!

WHY GET SOMEONE WIOTH SUCH A HUGE HEAD TO BURN THEMSELVES INTO OUR NIGHTMARES!

WHY GOD?

WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US?

I had no idea so many former military personal were wandering around NZs mid range small Kiwi owned franchise service station industry ready to snap and go on a killing spree!

All it took for Herman Munster to go troppo was a bloody kid knocking over a can FFS!

Where’s the public health warning advertising to demand parents stop triggering veterans into killing sprees?

Why isn’t that on the Spin-off?

Look, I’m no advertising guru, but if your advert ends up inadvertently terrifying the civilian population against your membership, I’m not sure that’s a win.

It’s a bit like this image…

…now I’m certain the Green Party Comms Team believes this is a strong powerful empowering hashtag feminism hashtag workers rights PR victory, while others may take a very different view.

Like the vast, vast, vast, vast, vast majority would take a different view.

Like fucking very vast.

So yeah. Please give generously to the Poppy Day fund raising because it’s far preferable to have these men explode at the RSA than your local pub.

Cheers.

 

Increasingly having independent opinion in a mainstream media environment which mostly echo one another has become more important than ever, so if you value having an independent voice – please donate here.