Like We’ve Been Here Before: The “Friends” Reunion.
I’VE NEVER BEEN a big fan of reunions. All they seem to reaffirm is the wisdom of Heraclitus. Heraclitus? Yes, the ancient Greek philosopher who wrote: “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
Now, it’s an open questions as to whether Ross, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Rachel were ever great readers of Heraclitus (although, you know, Ross was a pretty academic kind of guy). What’s even more doubtful, of course, is whether the actors who played these most famous of friends ever dabbled in ancient Greek philosophy. That being the case, it was probably a bit hopeful to expect them to turn down the huge money involved in bringing all the characters back together for one, last “reunion” episode.
Mind you, they were a pretty remarkable ensemble, and they did manage to stamp a whole decade with their very own brand of cultural ink. So, you know, why not?
Why not! Seriously? Because the politico-cultural river has flowed on so far from that first episode of “Friends”, screened way back in 1994. In those days, it was still possible to gather together three white guys and three white girls from the suburbs of Middle America and drop them into a quirky “twenty-something” sitcom without being accused of unforgiveable cultural myopia and unconscious racism.
Not anymore.
Judging from the intensity of the Twitterstorm which the “Friends” reunion has generated, there’s a whole generation out there which feels deeply embarrassed by the enjoyment their younger selves derived from following the trials and tribulations of Ross, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Rachel. Long before they made it to college and learned all about white male privilege, cis sexuality, and systemic racism, “Friends” represented something pretty close to the ideal of how they wanted to live. Sure, the series celebrated independence, discovery and adventure – but always within the context of the unconditional emotional support endlessly available from these all-too-human explorers of young adulthood.
As Chandler might have put it: “Could anyone have possibly BEEN more selfish?”
Well, no. Not really. But that selfishness was an absolutely crucial aspect of the 1990s zeitgeist. Most of the humour of “Friends” is derived from the ever-so-slightly fucked-up self-absorption of the principal characters. Just as most of the series’ dramatic power derives from the six friends’ constant collision with the core truth that, in spite of everything we’ve been told, we can’t actually make it on our own.
The other reason for “friends” extraordinary success was the way it taught a whole generation of white, well-educated, middle-class Americans how to negotiate the hazards of neoliberal society. Not an easy project, and one that would be rendered instantly impossible if any considerations other than those of how to be a member in good standing of the professional-managerial class had been introduced to the self-contained world of the Central Perk.
Seriously, what the hell would Ross, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Rachel have done if they had witnessed the murder of a black man by a dead-eyed cop? How would a hopeless methamphetamine addict have been received by Gunther? How would rape, domestic violence and gross economic exploitation have fitted into the comedic schema of “Friends”? How long would the friends of “Friends” have remained friends if these sorts of issues had suddenly become the main topics of conversation over all those café lattés? There aren’t a lot of laughs in injustice. At least, not a lot of laughs for liberals.
And yet, and yet, it had something – didn’t it? “Friends” had a human warmth and a core of decency that, through all the jokes and ridiculous personal crises (We were on a break!”) served a consistently uplifting didactic purpose. Not the least important of these lessons was that it is actually okay to hang out with people of the same age, sexuality, ethnicity and social class. It’s what humans have done pretty much since there were humans. In a capitalist society, where the advertisers’ dollars pay for everything from Chandler’s shirts to Phoebe’s guitar, it’s simply not reasonable to expect intersectional purity on every page of the script.
At least, it didn’t used to be reasonable. Nowadays, with “colour-blind casting” (an Indian Nicholas Nickleby anyone?) and every cast carefully sifted through the sieves of gender, ethnicity, sexuality and class (does anyone actually watch “The Irregulars”?) one is moved to wonder whether profit is even the point anymore. The thing to remember, however, is that didacticism only works when you cease to be aware that you are being taught.
“Friends” taught us about the importance of companionship in the perilous straits of early adulthood. But, it did not achieve this entirely worthy objective by hitting us over the head with the sledgehammer of fashionable ideology. It did it by making us laugh and, on occasion, cry. The millions and millions of people who watched (and still watch) “Friends” did so, and do so, because they saw/see themselves in the characters. Even people who aren’t well-educated, white and middle-class are somehow able to do this. How? Because Ross, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Rachel are recognisably human types.
If the writers of “Friends”, David Crane and Marta Kauffman, had made Joey black, but not vain; and Monica a lesbian, but not neurotic; would we have laughed so loudly? Hell, would we have laughed at all?
I doubt it. That version of “Friends” would have been a very different river.
Times like this we need to get a little Hendrix about it all…
Jimi Hendrix – Hear My Train A Comin’
https://youtu.be/EX5phFmbrU8?t=5
I get sick of modern crass woke notions,…I like to settle back to the blues, blues rock if needs be, when the class war meant something. My other blues hero was Howlin Wolf.
A song about the union hall.
Wang Dang Doodle – Howlin Wolf
https://youtu.be/J0HfN6GvK08?t=2
Both of ’em performed by black men, in Hendrix’s case, part Cherokee, part black. But both of them knew what racism was in the deepest sense of the word. And those folks led the way,… hell! lets throw in some Billy Holliday for good measure !
God bless the child – Billie Holiday
https://youtu.be/bKNtP1zOVHw?t=6
Why seriously bitch about “Friends”, it was of its time. Hearing of the special show I admit the first thought I had for some reason, as an occasional 90s watcher, was jeez that was a white show…but I was not exercised about it, just pleased that the world is moving on.
People like to see themselves–so perhaps exclusion was the main error committed by “Friends”. Not white, lower middle class, young, urban? nothing to see here, move along. Nowadays with the digital second coming of TV–watch when YOU want–every flavour and combination of humanity imaginable seems presented.
Friends made me puke. I watched a few shows then turned off. It was typical American low rate slapstick comedy pandering to the urbane what ever they were’s. What they were , I couldn’t give a tuss. But they sure weren’t me.
Seinfeld I liked. As was Taxi and the highlight there for me was ‘Reverend Jim Ignatowski ‘(Christopher Lloyd) . Archie bunker and All in the Family was cool. Even Happy Days. But most american crap was just american crap.
They in no way shape or form could even begin to compete with the decades of British comedy we had before that, whereby it wasn’t WHAT was said, – but HOW it was said. And they didn’t need cheap shitty crass slapstick to induce the audience to laugh. It was all much more subtle.
The american thing on our tee vees came in around the Reaganism and Thatcherism era. It was from that point on that we were inundated with cheap , sloped forehead crap Americanized moralizing propaganda.
And tee vee,… has gone downhill since then.
For me it represents happier days, before New York began sliding back into the drug infested crap hole it was before Mayor Giuliani took over.
It represents a bunch of priveledged numbskulled idiots who had neither the class of Seinfeld nor the earthy gritty humour of All in the Family.
Yep sure numbskulls – it was very lightweight comedy for sure.
But still it represents a better time – nobody is selling drugs outside their favourite café and there are no stray bullets whizzing through the front window as is the case too often now.
I always wondered how they survived financially. One episode touched on that subject with Joey and Phoebe not able to afford to go the restaurants they were supposed to go to as a group. Money, or the lack of it, is rarely a core part of plots and it almost totally dictates people’s lives. That’s why Schitt’s Creek was refreshing in some ways
And Friends was not.
Yes indeed. Someone did a check on what their apartment would cost to rent at the time – it was an absolute fortune and the implication that it was near Central Park would make it eye wateringly expensive.
I hope that with all our splender we can spawn someone like we remember Mozart or Leonardo Da Vinci.
Reassuring to know “Friends” was not appointment viewing for CB and WK!
And thank goodness for that !
Now, I’ve just had a chat with my 94 year old mother and told her to turn the heater on ( for my benefit , not hers ! )… turns out, and I don’t think she’d mind me passing this on…
That her Auntie Millie Gibson was good friends with Michael Joseph Savage. Apparently they all used to knock about in those circles. Small world, and my mums family were poor Salvation Army folks. Mums a wealth of knowledge on how life used to be and much of it is absolutely hilarious !
So maybe that’s where I get it from. I’m encouraging her to put it all down on tape along with her brother Uncle Ray ( both in their 90’s ) . I’m telling you right now,…the funny little things in my mums family would write a script far more ironic and funny than ‘ Friends’ ever was . 🙂
It was just a show, folks. For the life of me, I don’t know why people get so exercised about TV and movies. They’re FICTION, you know? Friends was of its time: certainly not the worst I’ve seen in my longish life. And it was about white people: so what? At least it wasn’t woke.
It wasn’t my demographic, but I saw some episodes because a younger family member liked it. And I saw some of that reunion programme last night: it made me laugh.
In recent times, I saw Matt LeBlanc in the TV show “Episodes”. It was hilarious, as was LeBlanc. Not to be missed.
I never liked that show from the little I ever saw of it. Always seemed to me like something that would appeal to trendy youth culture.
To get an impression of what can happen to a show from that era that lasts to this day, consider the The Simpsons. Now employing black voice actors for black characters, gay voice actors for gay characters. It may be well intentioned but it ironically seems patronising at best or segregation at worst. Never mind the obvious issues with continuity. Diversity is all well and good, but if society was really mature, why not voice actors of different backgrounds voicing characters of various backgrounds? Otherwise it just feels awkward.
The first ten years of that show were the best, considering the show’s enduring liberal perspective, are those first ten years now deemed deplorable?
Frasier is another US comedy from that era I have a soft spot for. Funny watching characters from humble stock with their pretentious ways often end up making a fool of themselves. Also had some profound moments. It arguably had less diversity than Friends. Apparently there will be a new series, it will be interesting to see if or what influences modern sensibilities will have on it.
Soooo, what’s the deal with the Friends Reunion show? I heard it was going to be on HBO Max. I suppose COVID probably delayed it. I just loved Friends. My favorite show.