GUEST BLOG: Gerard Otto – Duncan Garner cut to ribbons under Green scrutiny
Duncan Garner was scrambling for answers with his fistful of papers when Chloe Swarbrick asked him what study he was referring to.
Duncan’s mouth flapped and his rolling jowls shuddered, while his fat trotters shuffled papers urgently – desperate to find the answer to a question he should have known the answer to.
Duncan was unable to be specific – saying the production team had found three examples, but he could not answer the question.
This was not the plan.
He looked like a giant moobster caught out being a bullying fuckwit!!!
The plan was to bash the fuck out of this radical stupid Green MP who dared to state that Duncan’s views were ill informed and dangerous.
Newshub’s wanky reputation was at stake too.
Duncan blamed Chloe for Newshub inviting her onto the show.
Maybe this was because Duncan is a c#nt, or maybe it was because Duncan hates talking to Green MPs, but the fact was Duncan thought he was going to bowl this bitch over.
Newshub had tried to put the leg work in here and actually used google to type up a list of talking points which focused on unnamed Los Angeles reports – with which Duncan could pretend to be informed and say bogus things.
Duncan wanted to come back to LA as if it were the only place in the world where weed was smoked.
But Chloe explained how a meta study taking all examples – not just the cherry picked ones – was about to be published and how it contradicted Duncan’s wafer thin opinion.
Duncan was conflating legalisation with liberalisation ( decriminalisation ).
That’s the fat of the thin of it.
Chloe took a scalpel and cut an incision straight down Duncan’s argument catching the fat goober out of his crease and hopelessly out of his depth.
The fact was under prohibition your kids can get cannabis of unknown potency today – and regulating that – has been shown to reduce it because it’s less cool and people are better informed.
There is no silver bullet reckoned Chloe but we should do what we can to prevent harm.
Hell yes.
Much to the small nostrilled alarm of Amanda Gillies this made sense and even the dull dim witted Mark Richardson stopped grinning like a dumbed down circus clown.
Duncan does not like looking like a moronic mallow-puff and he started that over-talking – rapidly butting in and chipping over the much needed public conversation Chloe was trying valiantly to convey.
Duncan had been ripped apart by the erudite , precise articulation of Chloe’s position.
He blinked like a severed head that did not know it was already on a pike outside the city walls.
His guts hung on a fence post as flies swarmed around the stinking carcus of what was once a pumped up mansplaining pig.
How had Duncan been defeated so fast by a Green MP?
Aren’t they all supposed to be easy beats and objects of National Party ridicule – except during coalition negotiations?
Duncan feebly said – welcome to my position – as the last molecules of oxygen divorced his brain, slamming the door never to return.
Duncan’s planned clobbering of Chloe was dead.
Duncan read out a cherry picked example telling a gruesome story of an ambulance driver who found an infant amidst weed smoking neglectful parents – but Chloe took the ball and ran down the sideline to score under the posts – by agreeing that was a terrible case.
The crowd went wild – as death walked into the studio and Newshub looked like morons exposed by real brains they had underestimated.
In the end, the bombastic but single celled engine inside Duncan’s brain exploded as he conceded defeat – wishing Chloe good luck.
Little bits of National blue tinsel fell gently down through the air in the studio where Duncan’s fat face had once been.
Now he was a sickly pale, ant eating corpse still dressed in a white disco jacket.
Who does not love the smell of nat napalm in the mornings?
Smells like victory to the Greens.
And victory for the public who want a better conversation about cannabis than Newshub is capable of delivering with it’s amateur, slap dash research, and skewered sweet and sour pork presenters.
Gerard Otto is an activist and a writer.
Normally I’d rather deep fry my own nuts in boiling oil than have to sit through ‘The AM Show’ but this one’s a real doozy. Duncan gets his arse handed to him by Chloe and thanks her for the privilege. A joy to watch:
https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2019/02/cannabis-clash-chloe-swarbrick-takes-on-duncan-garner.html
Thanks for the link and Duncan you are a twat trying to drive up your ratings!
Where’s the Love Button?
Exactly, ill informed prejudice has no answer to informed fact, it does not matter what you believe it matters what the facts are, and the facts are pointing to a grow your own cancer cure, big pharmas attempts to patent the stuff should tell you all you needa know, witness the propaganda arm of NZ politics trying to influence the result before its even voted on.
Pathetic Duncan, you got your pants pulled down and you where shafted live on Telly LoL
WWG1WGA
Just a sign of things to come … mis-information, negative hype, undocumented speculative reporting, all of the usual prohibitive tactics we will see over the next 18 months. Does anyone watch Garner for his brilliant journalism? I think not. They watch because there are only two options for breakfast TV in Aotearoa and he’s one of them.
Mr Otto you sum up the interview/discussion with insight, however, your inability to use succinct argument without the need for a slanging match makes me question your conviction. Is this a joke to you or something? I am sure there are a number of victimless people sitting in jail or on the bottom of the welfare scrapheap who are not finding their situations laughable, all though they may characterise their plight by using the same sort of expletive profanaties.
It is one thing to point out a journalists shortcomings and another to champion a viewpoint which is well researched and logical. You lose the viewer when you lose your ability to comment without dropping to the level of the very journo you detest.
Keep up the below-average work!
Yes now we have the useless Bridges stating New Zealanders will leave in droves for Aussie if a CGT is introduced. Well fuc me 10 Bridges, Aussie already have a CGT! I’m surprised he’s as high as 6 %. Misinformation or the Donald Trump of N.Z. either way he’s an idiot.
While good to see Chloe rightfully taking down the MSM fuckwittery, I just hope the Greens just don’t have ‘getting legally high’ as their only benefit to society after 3 years in power next election and very little good news on the environment which is why many people thought they were called the Greens (not the weed as the modern green interpretation)…
Your language is too crude Otto – in fact it distracts from the theme of your long long epistle – this ain’t a war comic.
Maybe we are past the pleasantries, Christine? Maybe we need to go “Whaleoil” on Garner’s well-padded backside to get his attention?
Otto speaks to a working class level where direct speech instead of flowery euphemisms is an open, honest interaction.
Crudely said? Yes. But then, maybe it’s at Garner level of intellectuel crudity.
I think it’s a crying shame if it’s thought that Swarbrick needs to be referred to as a bitch to resonate with the working class, more so when Chloe is patently not a bitch.
I tried hard not to refer to Paula Bennett as a bitch even when I though she was – maybe it’s a girl thing.
Emulating Whale Oil could become a health and safety issue with folk not only having strokes, but no-one believing that they’ve had them anyway.
I mean yeah, she ain’t a bitch, that’s what makes catching “feelings” and “reasons” so funny.
You must be a low context person, Christine. It’s okay, many people are.
That’s unfair to Christine, Chris. She had a valid point with Otto’s crude language. I might not fully agree, but it was valid. (Hoping desperately I’m not sounding patronising )
I agree, Christine, I think I have been around long enough not to be embarrassed by it, but I am intensely irritated by it. What does it achieve? Scoop gets by without resorting to crudity.
You must be a low context person, Dennis. It’s okay, many people are.
Yeah, back in the day when gay just meant happy
I agree, Otto’s message was good and well said but i got distracted by the bad language.
Duncs will really be hating the Greens, when he interviewed Golriz Ghahraman last year she warned him that he shouldn’t be talking about a live court case on the air – he looked pretty ignorant then as well.
Go Chloe!!
Garner is a deeply unpleasant, opinionated individual for whom facts are irrelevent and Chloe cut him down to size.
Great to see Chloe owning that interview. She dominated smirking Garner and didn’t he know it. Brilliant 🙂
My God after watching that performance, I’m sure Chloe could take down the whole front bench of National in one glorious strike no sweat with facts being her only weapon, if she had the opportunity to do so. Definite potential leadership qualities there.
As for Garner and Richardson … if they had a brain cell each, it would be lonely!
God I enjoy your writing Gerard ,I find you very funny
Duncan with his baby face and vaudeville jackets …is totally at a loss when faced with true intellect
Go Chloe!
The time for chit chat and niceties is over. We now live in a time where presidents who commit war crimes (blowing children to pieces) can be awarded the Nobel peace prize, where western governments can declare any old street urchin a country’s president, and where society is not nurtured but surveilled, manipulated, coerced, tortured and sold. I for one will not go away or shut up when the likes of the National government and their bitches (greedy businessmen, government workers, main stream media, foreigners, etc.) drive this country into the ground, steal and pillage the nation’s resources and take pot shots at whoever the f%@k they like (dirty politics, pony tail pulling, sheep deals, racist right-wing media, racist police, corrupt judiciary; the list is endless) As for this c%#t Paula Bennett, this is a woman who while a minister responsible for New Zealand communities, leaked personal client details, discontinued study incentives and suggested women be sterilised for their own good. Do your best Gerard, your creative, clever and funny work is a refreshing counterpoint to the inane bullshit being served to the public by msm everyday.
+100%. at least. garner does not deserve the niceties of manners most folk would extend to others.
A bullying blubbering fool who unfortunately befuddles many who are unsure of what MSM crap they should believe.
Lies and innuendo repeated often enough by these right wing puppets stooges given media space, do tend to stick with many.
garner is a leech from the swamp.
Chloe’s swamp management is well above the mire of garner’s cesspool.
Chole – you’re a star.
Garner – you need to have a seriously good look at yourself and reconsider your position as a national party media hack. Goodness me, you failed miserably here. You could not handle the intelligent and reasoned argument put forward by Chole and you squirmed in your seat because you were beaten….on all points.
The interesting thing is that men like you with your barren views and lack of insight think that you can dominate vibrant intelligent women who know what they are talking about and when you are beaten, as you were so resoundingly here, try and interrupt and over-talk them to prove your point.
I’ve been saying this ever since “The AM Show” started: Duncan Garner is an anti-intellectual, which is entirely inappropriate for a media reporter/interviewer. He is clearly way out of his depth here, and it boggles the mind TV3 keep him in this role (unless “dumbing down” your audience is their actual goal). Duncan would be much more suited for a radio-DJ or the host of reality show where is talents as a broadcaster can be properly utilised.
Indeed, Garner closes the conversation instead of opening it up – but that doesn’t fit his rigid world view.
Duncan Garner – a neanderthal man with ideas straight out of the 19th century. Why do we still have him on our TV screens? Is there no one better suited??
Garner is a Wombat basically.