This week on The War on News, Martyn Bradbury delivers savage commentary on the snowflake syndrome plaguing local councils, the tangled web of sex, spies and billionaires, and a looming ocean current collapse that could freeze half the planet.
👂 Old White Men Flee Karakia in Whangamatā: Two elderly councillors stormed out of a community board meeting because someone dared to speak Māori. The offending karakia? A message of unity and wellbeing. The diagnosis? Honky Ear — a tragic condition where the sound of reo Māori causes sudden moral panic, cognitive dissonance, and possibly testicular swelling. Thoughts and prayers to the Whangamatā Community Board in their battle against Indigenous greetings.
🧠 Epstein, Mossad, Trump and… Bubba?! In real news this week: Epstein’s brother denies Bill Clinton was the “Bubba” mentioned in a viral Trump email alleging, um… intimate activities. Meanwhile, buried beneath the smut: Epstein’s decades-long ties to intelligence agencies, Israeli diplomacy, and blackmail operations. Was his sex trafficking “hobby” actually espionage? If Martyn dies suddenly, don’t trust the coroner.
🌊 Atlantic Ocean Current Collapse Could Trigger New Ice Age: Iceland has declared a state of emergency as scientists warn the Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation (AMOC) may be shutting down. This vital climate-stabilising current keeps Europe warm — and without it, we could see freezing temperatures, mass disruption, and billions affected. But hey, at least you remembered your reusable bag.
One nation. One current. One hell of a week. It’s not news. It’s the War on News.