Tim Selwyn – RMA bonfire and TPM’s tax plan

Two things grabbed me from parliament this week (26/08/2026).  The RMA replacement and an announcement from Te Pati Maori.

TPM’s tax policy was announced earlier in the day by the co-leaders. Debbie and Rawiri. For the first time in this term they looked and sounded like they knew what they were doing. They looked credible. They knew the numbers, they didn’t stumble in the media scrum. The policies weren’t as radical as 5%+ polling Opportunity, and they named the motivation and need for each of the taxes – so on that basis it could not be called extreme.

It was heartening to see what everyone (including their political enemies) had accused TPM of – flakiness – cured in large part by a single event. A serious answer from the TPM to the financial side of the ledger. No airy-fairy stuff, just crunchy numbers. Credit where it is due, it was quite unexpected to see a no nonsense package like this and for them handle the presentation so well.

I’m watching live video of the chamber tonight. That unmistakable green leather and tawa(?) cabinetry. It must be warm in there, none of them are rugged up. Arena Williams has a pink biro (the only colour to compete with the daffodils to celebrate whatever it is, yellow fever victims(?)) scribbling away. Dr Lawrence Xu-Nan is taking a call because he’s noticed something, again. The Planning Bill is going through under urgency. It sounds like a horror show. The process itself is a carnival ride.

The closest thing to this experience is a telethon. A late night, marathon, live broadcast, partly rehearsed, but always spontaneous, featuring obscure local celebrities. Is it duty or masochism that motivates their participation… and ditto for the “21 watching now.”

Greg O’Conner is in the chair at the head of the table. He looks almost dead. He has no point in existing anymore, according to Labour – no electorate, no list place, no prospect of being a future Speaker. No future. A husk, he appears ready to expire. He wears a frown. The oversize yellow daffodil lapel flower makes him look like a clown. A sad clown. His job excusing bent, basher cops as police union PR goon was a much happier time for O’Conner – he looked alive then. He enthusiastically defended all manner of police brutality and killings for two decades from memory – every incident was justified vigorously. Where is the energy now for the Planning Bill committee stage Part 4 debate? Bring that killer cop defence energy, brother!

An Act under-secretary – the Zionist one that looks like a nonce (you all know the one) – is taking it through the House. A Natural Environment Bill is on the docket as its partner legislation to replace the Resource Management Act. From memory this is the exact same thing as Labour had done exactly three years earlier – replace the RMA with a pair of Acts: spatial and… and… and whatever the other thing was. The incoming regime immediately repealed it all. Hipkins’ has made a public commitment that Labour would in a future government just accept by default all of National’s legislation – does this include these two Nat/NZF/Act Bills?

From the debate so far National has renamed, neo-libbed up, then spat out with other terminology, Labour’s reform. Or have I got that wrong? It pains me to follow the RMA dissection because the RMA is painful enough as it is, but at least we all know it and there is stability. But this seems like how the foreshore and seabed became the marine and coastal area. The law transforms from one arrangement to another through a byzantine tango, possibly paso doble, from ministry to ministry. The “rule of law” means very little when each parliament changes the law, backwards and forwards, making it up, messing it up, never fixing anything.

Chris Bishop is now the minister at the table. Oriini Kaipara has amendements. The voting is rapid. Bishop is jabbing away at his phone as the party vote is taken. Bishop could best be described as the type of guy you imagine as soon as you are asked to picture a guy who eats pies that isn’t Gerry Brownlee. He looks dishevelled. Maybe he has the physique of Wellington. A Bellamy’s chin, a Green Parrot gut. Rocking normal.

Environment Court and Planning Tribunal clauses begin. This is major stuff – a whole jurisdiction and bench of the courts. Look how they power through it in a few minutes! How can I be polite about this: they legislate how Kiri Allan drives to work at night.

Twyford sounds perky. Not sure he will make it back into cabinet without some leadership changes though the way it is. But he’s optimistic. Labour seems optimistic. They are talking about urban land markets. This affects everything, but here we are at the parliamentary death and they are forcing it down the parliamentary oesophagus.

O’Conner has departed. He’s left, I mean, not actually died. There is a woman in the chair who may or may not be the “fucking useless” (according to Simon Bridges) Mareen Pugh. She queries what part of the Bill Bishop is addressing as he’s wandered off topic. She is wearing the same jacket as the 1960’s main character of The Prisoner. Time is officially at a standstill under urgency within the parliamentary precinct, like that prison village was in the TV series. They are all prisoners of the urgency.

Iwi are not allowed in JMA’s!? Did I hear that? Joint Management Agreements are the best way for Hapu to engage directly without the corporate Iwi influence precisely because it wasn’t designed for Hapu to be part of – it was designed for other authorities. I hope this change isn’t so, but JMA’s are a form of co-governance they would be targeting. Dr Xu-Nan is onto it: sections 197 and 198. Arena is onto it: Hapu need JMA’s whereas Iwi don’t. They really like their jobs – the hearty 10% geeks up late to test this RMA rampage. Huhana Lyndon on Iwi Participation Agreements. More acronyms.

Bishop: JMA’s don’t affect Settlement iwi. That sounds bad for Hapu. A maximum of ten Environment Court judges. The Planning Tribunal will deal with most things before it gets to the Environment Court. Wish I knew more about it without having to read it, so that’s why I’m listening to the debate instead, and it is the more difficult path.

Phil has filed an amendment to make a section before 188B. Over-riding by Minister, something or other. Will he consider it? This is all mad. This is the sausage factory as the squealing starts. A section before 188B. How can you run a country like this? Ram it through so they can campaign on having done it this term, regardless. The officials will tell them, forgettaboutitalready just do an amendment Bill later on (am I right?).

Bishop is agitated. “There’s a standard form, Lawrence!” Parliament sets up tribunals all the time! It’s just gone 10pm, he’s getting tetchy; the opposition are bathing in it. I find myself chanting along to the party vote roll calls one after another. Tabled amendment to a tabled amendment.

Nonce boy is back in the chair. Voted most likely to Tim Jago, his jam-jar glasses glint as he takes a creepy sweep of the public gallery above. There won’t be any kiddies up there at this hour, sunshine, it’s 10:15pm. (And ever since Winston and the gang hounded out of Parliament Benjamin “Bussy” Doyle on some paranoid interpretation of online iconography – Peter Ellis-style – we can make these grossly unfair observations without any need for blushing, evidence or invocation of satire. This is where we are now. Crude smears. These are your own coalition partner’s standards!) Urgency continues.

Laurie, baby! What is Dr Xu-Nan’s word count in this parliamentary term? Because it will be a record, whatever it is. He threatens follow-up questions. He is loving it. Lan Pham on plan change 1. Teanau Tuiono is in the chair. Everyone has had a go chairing the committee of the whole tonight, a team effort. Share the tedium out. I’m guessing they will run all the way to midnight. Jesus. It is a compressed process that cannot hope to deal with the mass of issues – an ordeal.

Rachel Brooking says she is addressing the amendment to an amendment to an amendment, well… she has an amendment to that. She’s complaining the Minister has dropped amendments without notice, “a terrible way to make laws.” No shit. A mad carnival ride and everyone is wearing these stupid huge yellow clown flowers. No credibility.

Legislation by ordeal. Legislation by clowns.

Nonce boy is getting sarcastic with Tangi Utukere. Bring it sweetheart. Bring it! The process grinds on, but not smoothly.

Bishop refers to “a long discussion on feng shui” having occurred previously in the session with Dr Xu-Nan. I celebrate this being available shortly in Hansard.  Bishop laments the Napier City Council imposing balconies for social housing. They had to have Juliet balconies and the cost “went through the roof” he said, employing what seemed like the right building metaphor. “You can smoke from them,” he gestures clasping a cigarette between his fingers and puffing. He’s smiling. A reflex thought to his pre-MP job as tobacco fluffer. Instead of criticising the underfunding he says they had to reduce the amount of units to afford the balconies. Yes, the poors don’t deserve balconies, don’t deserve the right to smoke at home, and can be crammed into smaller spaces. Before the end of the century we may see the cross-over point where the gradual decrease in the legal space of a human home and the gradual increase in the legal space of a hen’s caged area meet. We will be living in less space than an animal in the end. Bishop is peppering “choice” and “choosing” into the scenarios, but we all know there is no choice for the poors. And maybe herein we can find the difference between National and Act if we think about the Juliette balconies: the Nats are upset they have to give them to the poors, Act would weld the balcony doors shut so they can’t be used. Act have a dark, spiteful aura about them these days as they play the race game especially.

It’s almost midnight ffs. I am tired. The night has left me with only one productive thought: the audio recordings of Dr Xu-Nan’s speeches from tonight would be perfect for one of those four hour long get to sleep Youtube videos.